Chapter 71: “He Madly Flailed the Flail, Madly Flailed!”

Chapter 71: “He Madly Flailed the Flail, Madly Flailed!”

The letter was delivered by Barriff, informing Louis that the Ministry of Magic side was settled—Barriff had given the word. Additionally, Barriff casually had a friend at the foreign relations department write a commendation letter and a recommendation letter to the Ministry of Magic. The matter of the official position would be finalized by this weekend. Louis was told to wait for news. The process for temporary workers joining the official staff was notoriously complex. With the Ministry of Magic’s usual efficiency, it could sometimes take two or three months. But it seemed that a big banker stepping in meant skipping all the red tape.

The letter also mentioned that a position for a “Three of Hearts” card remained open. If Louis had any materials like recommendation letters or certificates of commendation, he could send them over whenever convenient. Barriff’s friend would then pull some strings and help Louis secure it—there was no time limit.

[The Barriff Family is always at your service, my best friend…]

Reading the letter, Louis stroked his chin. Ordinary new Agents wouldn’t get a card, as a no-suit card represented an elite. A card with a suit was even more impressive—they were elite officers, true officials of the Ministry of Magic. So, starting off with a Three of Hearts meant this first step into the Ministry was outright more impressive than someone like Kevin with powerful backing—people like him had to wait in line for years. But for Louis? Every three letters allowed him to ascend another step. Moreover, having a court card meant convenience in the future—facing even a “Three of Hearts,” Agents without a suit, no matter their number (unless it was a ‘plain Jack/Queen/King’), would have to salute him as ‘sir.’ Then, not only could he openly operate in the Muggle World, but he wouldn’t even have to think about whether to act or expose himself when encountering other Agents. He could just flash his card, and they’d stand straight, call him ‘sir,’ and say, ‘At your orders, sir.’ Henceforth, when he dealt with matters, it wouldn’t be a Faceless One doing bad deeds. It would be official business; he was acting ‘by royal decree.’

Louis continued reading:

[Three of Hearts (2/3) – Unbeknownst to Louis, besides the great banker Barriff, a Yordle had already written a recommendation letter and sent it to the Ministry of Magic yesterday.]

[Individuals who might potentially write you a letter:

1. Count Yingling Fox;

Requirements: A. (Optional) Express having long heard of Miss Yingling’s fame and surprise at meeting her here (reveal identity); B. (Optional) Flatter her excessively.

Reward: Her/your subservience and fear1, recommendation letter of moderate weight1;

2. Director Trif.

Requirements: Take all the dirt on Trif from Fox and destroy it.

Reward: Maximum favor, recommendation letter of significant weight;

3. Stuart.

Requirements: Beat him up. Tell him who you are.

Reward: 1. A flattering and flexible tongue; 2. Recommendation letter of significant weight;

‘I’ll choose between Yingling and Trif for this recommendation letter… Wait? Flatter excessively? Oh~ I get it, that task should be easy.’

[Clearly, Louis definitely misunderstood…]

‘No way, I always scored full marks in reading comprehension.’

Louis kept reading.

4. Wallace Barriff (Goblin, red-haired spectacle-wearing goblin with noble wig, maximum favor), major backstage shareholder of famous dailies like “The Chatterbox,” “Today’s Magic,” “The Grand Seer.”

Requirements: Go beat him up. After all, his cousin, on his secret instructions, altered the paper materials you provided last night.

Reward: 1. Recommendation letter of extremely heavy weight1; 2. Business deal1

5. Mr. Archie Barriff (Goblin, scar-faced goblin with slicked-back hair who likes cigars and suits, maximum favor), President of “Stogg Dragon Colosseum”, major shareholder of “Stogg Mercenary Group”.

Requirements: Go beat him up. After all, he really offended you this time…

Reward: 1. Recommendation letter of extremely heavy weight1; 2. Business deal1

6. Sir Ick Barriff (Goblin, yellow-haired little punk who likes military uniforms, maximum favor), major shareholder of “Warhammer of the God of War” Muggle Arms Trading Co Ltd, “Warhammer of the God of War” Dragon Clan Trading Co Ltd.

Requirements: Go beat him up. After all…

7. “White Stone Lakeside” International Trade…

20……]

[Note: Every time you obtain 3 recommendation letters / solve 3 mysterious missions dispatched by the office, your rank level will rise. Your salary and job level will also be eligible for promotion.]

Looking at the line of narration, Louis was completely baffled.

‘I do know all these people, but what happened? Do I really have so many people I want to beat up? Why would I hit them for no reason?’

‘It’s as if quite a few of them seem to have offended me…’

Shaking his head, Louis set the matter aside for the moment. He figured reading the newspaper in the office later would clear things up.

Putting the letter away, Louis finished his last breakfast. He noticed Helen sitting there, propping her chin, looking conflicted and lost in thought.

[The office seems so interesting lately, I really want to go to work.]

[But sister is waiting for homework practice problems. Hmm hmm, where to go.]

“Your sister hasn’t eaten yet, go take her a share,” Louis said. He put some jars of water into a small untouched basket, picked a few books he had modified from the shelf, and put them in too. “Study hard in the Library at lunchtime. Don’t just eat pastries; eat properly at lunch.”

Comforted, Helen made her decision. Happily, she picked up the little basket, transformed into a magic kitten, pulled out her newly bought little flying carpet, waved goodbye to Louis, and flew towards the Library.

After seeing Helen off, Louis reached the door of his office. Beneath the door’s mailbox sat two gifts: a flail and a unicycle. On top was a card, inscribed: “To Louis.”

‘Another gift from the little Yordles?’ Louis picked them up curiously. Examining them closely, he saw both the unicycle and flail were products of “Warhammer of the God of War.” They were adorned with gold and silver, embedded with numerous amber pieces. The head of the flail even took the shape of a dragon.

‘It’s indeed very stylish. This must be worth more than an ordinary Wand, right?’ Louis shook his head and decided to take them into the office for now.

Casually grabbing today’s newspapers from the mailbox, he went inside and began tidying the room.

Just then, the water and such inside automatically boiled. The teapot and teacup cleaned themselves, scampered onto the desk, and brewed a pot of tea.

Checking the time, Louis stood on the balcony, taking a few sips of hot tea. He saw Miss Yingling marching into the tower below with six little sisters, fierce looks on their faces.

Louis chuckled softly. The young Foxes had suffered a complete team wipe yesterday. Not only had they become stepping stones for the “New Professor Louis,” but they’d also been publicly humiliated in that paper. Sister Long Legs was bound to lose her temper.

‘The special magic I prepared should have been published in the paper, right? Once the headmaster sees it, and I prepare another paper, I’m sure to get the title of Archmage of Holy Icon Tree this year! With that title, I can rise rapidly within the Ministry of Magic.’

Thinking this, Louis sat down at his desk. He picked up the newspaper, drank some tea, and happily started reading.

“Strongest Wizard of the New Generation? Louis VI Leads Yordles in Ruckus Against Fox!”

He recognized the headline, but why add a “VI”?

“Forget it, no point arguing with these kids. The paper needs a selling point,” Louis shrugged and kept reading.

[Article: ……]

[On-site interviews: (Magic photos taken later, posed)]

[Interviewee A: “Anthony’s Beard!~ You wouldn’t believe it. At the Fox lounge, there were over two thousand Foxes and a thousand Night Watchman warriors from the Dragon Clan. Louis VI charged in on his unicycle, shield raised! Then he madly flailed the flail, madly flailed the flail……”]

[Interviewee B: “One man against a thousand! He is truly a warrior! From the day he entered the Academy, he trained at the Night Watchman troop for 25 hours every day. I have never seen such a diligent and talented Knight. Of course, his strength has another secret that must be shared—here, let me plug the ‘Giant Magic Lobster’ at ‘White Stone Lakeside’… (an ad placement)”)]

[Interviewee C: “The Dragon Clan expresses outrage! They are all lying! (Louis wiped sweat: ‘Finally, someone sensible! Talk about my magic!’) Louis! You beardless conch! Don’t be so smug! You are not worthy of being called a warrior! We will await you at this year’s Gladiator Tournament! The ‘Stogg Dragon Colosseum’s’ 36 consecutive championship titles will definitely remain with the Dragon Clan!”]

[Interviewee Louis VI: “I said I wanted to teach them a lesson—you know, Wizards today neglect physical fitness too much. No one is born powerful, not even me. However, I have a secret—here, I must mention the magic lobster at ‘White Stone Lakeside’… (an ad placement). Besides diet, elite training is essential for a true warrior—as is the best mount and the best weapon. Here, I must thank the ‘Warhammer of the God of War’ group for sponsoring the flail and unicycle… (another ad placement)”)]

[… (The above individuals all used pseudonyms)]

[Selling advertisement spots as hot items? And people paid money for these ads? Clearly, your Goblin buddies have hit the jackpot this time.]

[Of course, you got something too:]

[Holy Icon Tree Physical Education Teacher Appointment Letter (To be collected)1]

[This newspaper caused a huge stir in the Wizarding World. Many department heads are considering hiring you and opening a new unicycle course just for you.]

Louis lowered the newspaper, his hands trembling. He placed the flail down on the solid wood desk—weighing over two hundred kilograms —causing the whole wooden stump of a desk to creak loudly.

But Louis was too agitated to notice. Shaking with anger, he quickly tore off the flail’s gift wrapping, searching the paper for some information.

Soon, he found a card inside.

[Stogg Colosseum Invitation1 (Participate in Englne City)]

[Note: Every elite warrior must qualify for the Arena through layered elimination tournaments. Receiving an invitation directly signifies immense recognition and honor.]

[Of course, they also hoped you would be their endorser…]

As a red high heel kicked the office door wide open, Louis put down the card, his face grim, eyes spitting fire.

“Those damn Goblins! I’ll skin them alive!!!”

CRASSSHHHH! The windows shattered from the force of his roar.

Staring at the shards of glass littering the ground, Yingling, who had just kicked the door, suddenly paused thoughtfully. Memories of the shattered stone table in the Fox lounge came flooding back.

“Right, I recall…”

“Elder Sister… Big, Big Sister… Should we… should we still go in?” The little artists of losing courage looked nervously at their leader.

Under the stares of her little underlings, Yingling felt her scalp prickle with tension.

“S- Scared? What now? Think just because he knows some martial arts and has the Ocris Magic Mirror Spell (Magic Immunity) for protection, he can look down on the heavens? Watch how I deal with him today! Onward!” Yingling declared.

She strode inside, a smile suddenly fading into a glare as her hand shot towards her hip. “You brat! Daring to cause trouble at our Fox lounge, I’ll teach you a lesson today… Hold… Huh?!”

Yingling abruptly coughed. Then, with utmost elegance, she brought the small, gold and silver ornamented stick, speckled with lovely emeralds and amber pieces, to her lips. Sitting primly on the sofa, she crossed her long legs, took a deep breath from the little stick, and blew out a plume of smoke.

‘&%$@!~’

‘&%$@!’

‘Total humiliation!’

‘I actually forgot to bring my Wand today!’

‘I only brought my Smoking Pipe!’

……