Volume 1 Chapter 20

Volume 1 + Chapter 20: Blue-White Light Points

My mother held my father and gestured to me with her eyes. I frowned, but still took my book with me and returned to my room.

Although my father is a slow-witted person, he is also someone with a fairly smart head.

He is feeling remorse. I know that.

But this is not his fault. My father has already done an outstanding job, it’s just that his abilities are limited.

Perhaps he regrets having told the other members about my matters, drawing their attention.

Perhaps he regrets having chosen this path, or maybe he regrets discovering things too late and being slow to realize.

But I feel the same regret. Don’t cry. This is the path I chose myself.

Just how gentle and kind can they be?

This being such an honorable thing, becoming a【Spirit Envoy】’s student, why can’t they just be happy for me?

Why do they have to care about whether it’s my own wish, such a trivial thing?

Making me cry along with you. Foolish father.

Leaning against the door, using my book to hide my tear-streaked face, I am currently living in great【happiness】.

But at the same time, I am nearly suffocating under the weight of this【happiness】.

——————————–

【Divine Realm】

[What?! What exactly are you trying to do?]

A grown woman wearing a white coat, with beautiful long indigo-blue hair, spoke with some emotional agitation to a humanoid light figure whose features could not be clearly seen.

[I am fulfilling your wish, and also fulfilling the wish of her as she is now.]

The humanoid light figure’s voice revealed no gender, but its tone was very elegant.

[If you push her this hard, she won’t be able to hold on.]

The humanoid light figure stated matter-of-factly.

[Her self-destructiveness is too strong. Not to mention saving others, she herself is nearly at her breaking point.]

[The more gently she is treated, the more happiness she receives, the more painful it becomes.]

[How many more years do you think she can last?]

[……………]

Receiving no reply, the grown woman with long indigo-blue hair looked with complicated feelings at the scenery appearing in the mirror.

She lowered her dull, dark-red eyes and fell silent.

, , , , 

The reason for crying was not being moved by such a gentle father.

It was the pain born from understanding that I cannot respond to such gentleness.

The more I am cherished and treated this way, the heavier the feeling of suffocation and pain becomes.

Even the urge to vomit surfaces.

Resting my head on the book’s cover, I felt the sense of rejection and the urge to vomit arising within my body.

[Do you need Me to grant you a brief opportunity to return? The God will allow a short-lived miracle.]

Even though it was neither plot-related nor concerning Yuna, a 【text box】 appeared.

[Is such a thing possible?]

I blinked, squeezing the tears out of my eyes.

[You possess value commensurate with it. The God will grant you a miracle.]

[I beg of you.]

I pleaded, like a mortal facing a deity.

[The God has accepted your wish. Resolve the knots in your heart within the allotted time. Shi Yu Rong.]

I had not been addressed by that name for a very long time. Seeing those words, tears nearly spilled from my eyes again in an instant.

But I could no longer control the tears from returning. I only felt my eyes growing heavier… and heavier…

Finally, I lost consciousness.

[Xiao Rong… Xiao Rong… Shi Yu Rong! Snap out of it!]

[Smack!]

Along with the clear sound of clapping hands, I opened my heavy eyes.

And then what came into my sight was, 

My long-desired master, my mother.

She still looked young, unlike someone of the mortal world. Standing under the moonlight, her hair had merely turned white.

She did not show the despair and pain I had imagined. Instead, she appeared to be in good spirits.

This made me feel very reassured.

[What have you come back for?]

My mother’s eyes, clear black and white, looked at me and asked this.

But I couldn’t respond properly. I could only cry incessantly.

[Did you miss me?]

My mother showed a helpless expression, took a small incense burner from within her robe, and placed it on the stone table.

She then picked up the incense sticks on the stone table and lit three sticks of incense for me.

Staring blankly at my mother’s actions, I finally broke into a smile through my tears.

[I’m not a ghost. Why are you offering incense to me?]

[What nonsense are you talking about? Here, you are exactly a ghostly existence.]

My mother cast me an unrefined sidelong glance, a disdainful expression that said, “What foolishness is this child talking about?”

[True enough. Then, how long has it been since I “passed away” here?]

I lowered my head with a smile and asked my mother.

[Shi Yu Rong.]

My mother’s stern voice made me feel nostalgic and also a bit startled.

[The ways of humans and ghosts are different, do not stray from the path.]

Sitting back down on the stone stool, my mother sipped her tea and looked up at the moon as she spoke.

[I know, but…]

I felt wronged, as if I had returned to childhood, yet I dared not talk back.

[Are you living happily over there?]

Interrupting my explanation, my mother softened her eyes and looked at me, asking.

[Happily.]

I nodded in reply, then fell silent.

[I am also very happy.]

Hearing my mother say this, I stared in shock, my eyes wide.

[You child, you really think too little of your mother.]

My mother said with considerable helplessness, propping her chin on her hand as she looked at me leisurely and contentedly.

[Because…]

I opened my mouth, then closed it again.

[Back then, because I was on the verge of death and still hadn’t cultivated a successor, I showed you an embarrassing side. That was also because I was too young at the time.]

My mother said this, then stood up and gave me a hug.

Surprised that my mother could actually embrace me, I stiffened my body in bewilderment.

[I’m sorry. Back then, I forced you to do something you didn’t like.]

[No. Don’t say that.]

I hugged my mother back, cherishing this hard-won miracle.

[The affairs of this world are still things you cannot touch. Just know that I am not the kind of person who would live miserably because of your death. That is enough.]

My mother released me, then showed me a smile.

[Live well over there, understand? Don’t worry too much about adult matters, child, because even if you worry, it’s useless.]

[You saved me with your life. You have both fulfilled your mission and repaid my kindness.]

[There is nothing left here for you to atone for. Let the past life’s matters pass, cherish the matters of this life.]

[Nevertheless, since you’ve appeared before me, I’ll give you, my foolish daughter, a little something at the end.]

My mother patted my forehead. In an instant, I saw a sky full of golden light. I was stunned.

[Goodbye, Xiao Rong.]

My mother smiling gently and the golden rays filling my vision were my final memories.

【Divine Realm】

[Is this false? Is it a means to make her let down her resistance, to make it easier to invade her 【Spiritual World】, so that she can see the 【Spirits】?]

The woman with long indigo-blue hair lightly touched the figure reflected in the mirror with her finger.

A person dressed in ancient clothing, different from that era, one that made her feel nostalgic.

[Ha~ Who knows whether it’s real or fake?]

The humanoid light figure chuckled softly. It understood that the other was only asking knowingly.

The truth of the matter, in fact, had long been known.

———————–

[……..]

Blinking, I realized I had returned. I sat up from the floor and leaned against the door, zoning out for a while.

[The wish has been fulfilled. Continue the trial.]

The text box left behind those ambiguous words and dissipated. I refocused my eyes, pulled out my phone from my pocket.

I realized that the time in this world and that world were roughly the same.

I looked at the bracelet on my wrist, undid it, and held it in my palm.

Standing up from the floor, I placed it inside the bookshelf.

The 【past】 has lost its meaning, but accustomed to the weight of the bracelet, the emptiness and lightness of my left wrist felt strangely uncomfortable.

It was as if the 【past】 still influenced the present. I gently waved my hand to brush away the blue-white light points before my eyes, understanding at last what my mother had given me in the end.

Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably again.

Thank you, and… goodbye.

——————-

Adapting to seeing the light points around me was not very difficult.

I had already begun to faintly sense their thoughts. Carrying my schoolbag, I left home.

[When will you increase the number of partners?]

[Go play the piano, go play the piano.]

[Want to come out, want to come out.]

[…….]

Each light point conveyed different thoughts, but the one consistent demand was for me to play the piano.

I had just gained this power and couldn’t control it well, so I withdrew the power I had concentrated in my eyes back into my heart.

Unable to see the light points or feel their thoughts, I could finally catch my breath.

But soon, that power in my heart disobediently ran back into my eyes.

[Unfair, unfair.]

[How dare you not look at us, unfair.]

[Want to slack off, want to slack off.]

Scolding thoughts popped up one by one. I figured that the reason I couldn’t pull that power back might be due to these blue-white light points.

Holding my breath, I began to wrestle with these blue-white light points.

Heart!

Eyes.

Heart!

Eyes.

Heart!

Eyes.

………

A tug-of-war lasting over half an hour, I was in a stalemate with these blue-white light points the entire way.

By the time I got to the classroom, I was already fatigued. I had only succeeded in maintaining control for a few minutes. Then, upon seeing Yuna, all my efforts crumbled.

[White! Partner! Partner!]

The blue-white light points suddenly unified their thoughts, and at the same time, the power rushed to my eyes again.

Seeing the white light points beside Yuna and understanding what they meant, I let out a sigh.

[What’s that supposed to mean! Sighing the moment you see me!]

Yuna stormed over to me in a huff, glaring at me.

[It’s not aimed at you.]

I averted my gaze and saw the other students in the classroom staring at us with horrified expressions.

[It clearly is!]

Ignoring the terrified looks from the girls who used to flock around her, Yuna continued to fume at me.

[That’s your imagination.]

Too lazy to explain, I calmly walked around Yuna’s body.

[Watanabe Yuu!!!! You come back here this instant!!!!]

Knowing that this attitude of mine would anger Yuna, I nonetheless couldn’t handle the matter well.

It must have been due to exhaustion from wrestling with the blue-white light points as well. Understanding what the best approach was, I turned around and suddenly hugged Yuna, who had followed me.

Yuna, who had been about to lose her temper, not only deflated in an instant but also stiffened up completely.

[I’m sorry. I’m sorry.]

I patted Yuna’s back a few times to soothe her. Without even looking at her reaction, I turned and continued walking to my seat.

After putting everything away, I took out my book and continued reading, as usual.

[Boss~ You’re so amazing~]

My underling came to my side and spoke to me in a lilting, teasing tone.

I knew what he was referring to, but I ignored him and continued reading.

[Boss~ Boss~]

As if he had something to say, my underling called out to me.

[What is it?]

Finally taking pity on him, I looked at him. Before me was a math test with a score of 50 points.

[Ta-da!]

My underling looked very proud.

Out of a full score of 60, scoring 50 was pretty good for my underling.

I nodded to show I understood and turned my gaze back to my book.

But my underling indicated that he wasn’t done yet. He deliberately made a loud noise with two cartons of milk.

Without any fear of the glass breaking, my underling smiled smugly.

[Boss! Today, I’m giving you my portion of milk too. Having scored 50 points, I’m going to get a whole year’s supply of snacks. Consider this milk as thanks to you, Boss!]

I looked at the milk, then at my underling’s proud expression.

[Give me half.]

I curled my lips into a mischievous smile and made my demand.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw my underling’s expression instantly stiffen.

I continued to stare at him with a mischievous look, purposely not saying a word.

[……..Alright…… Boss……]

My underling, instantly deflated, lowered his head as he walked back to his seat.

I smiled slightly and continued reading my book.

Perhaps because I had hugged her, Yuna had become very quiet and didn’t provoke me further.

And my underling, whose year-long snack supply had been reduced to half a year, wisely did not disturb me again.

After school, I went home and fetched my suitcase. While waiting for Teacher Shimizu, before I had even finished zoning out, I saw her car arrive.

Getting out of the car, Teacher Shimizu’s appearance successfully excited the blue-white light points once again.

[Food! Food!]

[Replenish energy! Replenish energy!]

Saying this, they rushed straight toward Teacher Shimizu’s golden light points.

Teacher Shimizu was startled, but her eyes only widened slightly.

Assuming I couldn’t see, Teacher Shimizu controlled her expression well and revealed no other emotions.

Very naturally, she took my suitcase from my hand and placed it in the car.

However, Teacher Shimizu seemed to have some matters to attend to. In the car, she explained to me that she had something important to do.

The textbooks and the content to be taught today were placed next to the piano.

Then, she dropped me off at the door, handed me the key, and left.

I looked at the key in my hand and the car taillights that were quickly fading from view. Holding the key securely, I turned around and opened the door.

Following Teacher Shimizu’s instructions, I found the room she had prepared for me, put away my suitcase, then left the house and walked to the piano room.

Approaching the piano, I indeed saw over a dozen textbooks and an A4 sheet with requirements.

Seeing this, I let out an amused laugh. So this is what Teacher Shimizu meant by the 【content to be taught】?

[Piano! Piano!]

[Play! Play!]

Having become active again, they once again pushed the power from my heart up to my eyes.

I was already used to it. I let out a small sigh.

[Alright, alright, I know.]

Like a family member helpless with mischievous children, I rolled up my sleeves, set the textbooks aside, and began to play.

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