Chapter 362

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Chapter 362: The Ex-Girlfriend

Bai Wei opened his eyes in a dark and gloomy atmosphere.

Bai Wei found himself standing under a giant cherry blossom tree. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, with pink petals swaying in the wind.

Petals fluttered down as a figure quietly leaned against the tree, fast asleep.

Jingūji.

Beside Jingūji, there was a pink-furred fox.

A fox with six tails leaped out and upon landing, transformed into a human form. She looked just like that girl in my memories – bright eyes, radiant smile, with dimples when she laughed. Her teeth had cute little fangs, making her even more adorable and endearing than Saki Jingūji in this world.

Lovely.

Unfortunately, it was all in the past.

Bai Wei thought that after experiencing this lifetime, fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty, sixty-one, and sixty-two, a total of five lifetimes’ worth of memories should have been sealed away.

Having lived for so long, he could no longer regain the feelings of his youth. He could only choose to seal away his memories and start a new cycle in the sixty-third lifetime.

A person’s mind is not as resilient as they think, often appearing quite fragile before the river of time.

And so, he forgot about Diwu Qiansui.

Just like he chose to forget Liu Xiaowan and Yagyū Yukichiyo.

Those who abandon me, cannot stay within yesterday’s embrace…

People still have to live in the present, regardless of how sad or difficult the past was, no matter how unwilling or attached they are. When life comes to an end, it’s like the computer being formatted once, all the traces left behind cease to exist. Even if there are some, they are only faint remnants.

Bai Wei gradually integrated this portion of memories and self into his consciousness, becoming a part of his vast accumulation. Fortunately, the memories and emotions of ordinary people don’t leave behind too much. Only the most important and profound parts are selected and retained.

It is also known as "obsession" or, in other words, a kind of "lingering resentment".

Bai Wei waited for a hundred years, but couldn’t see her one last time. Bai Wei smiled and said, "The fox spirit tricked me, oh!"

"I’m sorry," Diwu Qiansui said quietly, "I’m sorry."

"It’s nothing, it’s all in the past," Bai Wei shook his head, "And after seeing you, all those inner discomforts have vanished. Even though it’s been a long time, this sense of regret has been repaired, so… it’s nothing now."

Life in this world is often filled with dissatisfaction, with so many of these kinds of things happening. We long for reunions that can never be attained.

Bai Wei has also grown accustomed to it, knowing that all stories connected to the past will inevitably have an unsatisfactory ending.

In this lifetime, love mainly clouded her mind.

Both of them had actually made big mistakes, but strictly speaking, they weren’t really considered wrong.

He was a wanderer of time, sacrificing his life to pursue a fleeting love.

As for Diwu Qiansui, this little fox had not yet come of age and knew very little about the affairs of the human world.

Mixed with desires of love and possession, it is inherently difficult to distinguish, resulting in both sides greedily seeking, and ultimately ending up with the inevitability of separation. In reality, neither of them truly understood the importance of self-restraint in a relationship.

Bai Wei can now see through all of these, ensuring that she won’t make the same mistakes again.

But he still had some questions in his mind.

"Can I ask some questions?" Bai Wei asked.

"Ask away," Qiansui said. "Now I can answer anything you ask."

"I saw your memories, and I saw my own, but some parts of them are a bit different," Bai Wei said. "If I were to say the part I find most difficult to understand, it would be your origin."

The Fox Spirit smiled faintly and said, "If I were to say that even I am not sure, would you believe me?"

Bai Wei nodded.

"In fact, I wasn’t really sure. I had been wandering for many years before I found a community. Even so, I didn’t receive much acceptance, so I often ran around outside. I had gotten used to living like a human, speaking their language, gradually imitating them, and even wanting to become one of them. This made me stand out among the Fox Spirit Clan, so in the end, I left the group."

Diwu Qiansui gently caressed the cherry blossom tree. "From the moment I was saved by the you, my life took a different path. I was destined to never be an ordinary Fox Spirit. Living carefree for a thousand years, like them, would have been a long torment for me. I longed for the bustling human world, and I heard that the Jiangnan region was the most prosperous. That’s why I found you."

Bai Wei understood and continued to ask, "Did you know from the beginning that I am who I am?"

Qiansui said, "In these two lifetimes, you look exactly the same, both in appearance and scent."

Speaking of scent, Bai Wei asked, "I’ve heard that when humans and fox spirits are together, it shortens the human’s lifespan, but in your case, it seems to be happening a bit too quickly."

"Because I am not an ordinary fox spirit, even when I was just a naive little fox, I had already eaten a human," said Diwu Qiansui, opening her mouth and pointing to her sharp fangs. "This kind of hunger has always plagued me. In the past, I could suppress it through sleep and other methods, but when I came close to you, it was like a bee smelling nectar, I couldn’t control my instincts at all."

"…couldn’t control, or didn’t want to control?"

"Did it have to be so clear?" Qiansui chuckled self-mockingly. "If I couldn’t drink fresh blood, I would never live to be a thousand years old. Looking back now, it was purely an obsession, I was greedy for your scent."

"Always demanding more," sighed Bai Wei softly, "both you and I."

Even though they knew deep down that it wasn’t sustainable, they still kept taking from each other, depending on each other, and living off each other.

Bai Wei said, "By saying that, deep down, you actually knew from the beginning that this day would come sooner or later."

"Maybe," sighed Diwu Qiansui, "but back then, I never even thought about all of this. You see, Bai Suzhen, she made me feel like I could be like her too…"

"Bai Suzhen, she was also someone who had a love-filled mind, you know."

Although Bai Suzhen imitated humans, she was quite different. In the original story, Bai Suzhen instructed Little Green to steal things several times, which caused Xu Xian to face imprisonment multiple times. Her character was one that would do anything for the sake of love, even if we exclude all external factors, the dangerous nature within her remained unchanged.

"She told me that being together when you like each other is something that should happen naturally," whispered Diwu Qiansui. "And I never doubted it back then… She told me how monsters gradually transform into women, but I wasn’t very clear about it. Most of the time, I would chat with her, seek her guidance, and learn to imitate."

"Even squatting at the door?"

"That’s not it, I just didn’t know where to stay, and I was afraid that if I turned around, you would be gone," Qiansui reminisced, revealing a slightly shy sense of nostalgia. "Looking back now, I realize how naive and stubborn I was at that time."

She whispered, "I was so immature, lacking the strong will of Bai Suzhen and her level of cultivation. The more I wanted to get close, the more I wanted to be together, the more I would hurt the other person. So, I could only cautiously maintain a certain distance."

Bai Wei suddenly felt a slight pain in his neck. He touched his neck and said, "Is this what they call… maintaining a sense of distance?"

Diwu Qiansui suddenly burst into laughter, her smile resembling that of a sly fox. "You don’t think this is enough to be considered close, do you? If you really want to be intimate, you should at least be like Xu Xian and Bai Suzhen."

The immortal fox turned around with hands behind her back and walked halfway around the cherry blossom tree. As she walked, she said, "Back then, I was actually quite naive about matters of the heart, but I was also curious. If I hadn’t been discouraged, perhaps we would have done everything we were supposed to, being in love for several years. However, I didn’t dare to ask for more because it would only make you perish faster."

Young Master Bai and the fox had been together for almost six or seven years, but it seemed like nothing that was supposed to happen actually happened. It wasn’t because Young Master Bai lacked the ability or consciously restrained himself, but rather, it was a forced choice.

Bai Wei pondered for a moment. "That’s true… My qi and blood were already insufficient to begin with. If I were to release the restrictions, I might not even survive for another three years."

Once his physical condition took a sudden turn for the worse, it was like pressing down on the gas pedal while going downhill, risking a catastrophic accident at any moment.

If you want to stay together for a longer time, then become lovers. That way, you can be together for a little longer. However, if you pursue pleasure, it will only lead to a quicker demise.

"For us, time is even more precious. Even though we have been cautious enough, it still…" The immortal fox sighed softly. "But it’s my own fault, I cannot bear to leave you, nor can I bear to leave the bustling human world. I don’t want to go back there, so all I can do is watch you slowly fade away, while you continuously indulge me, until the moment I see you on the verge of death, only then do I suddenly realize that the beautiful dream has come to an end."

Bai Wei nodded, and a weight was lifted off his heart, making him feel much more relaxed.

"Did you just breathe a sigh of relief?"

In a flash of pink light, Diwu Qiansui had already jumped right in front of him.

Bai Wei immediately denied, saying, "No, I didn’t."

"I know what you’re thinking," Diwu Qiansui raised her delicate eyebrows, revealing in a single sentence, "You must be thinking something like ‘It’s great that nothing happened, now I don’t have to take responsibility’."

"It’s all in the past life," Bai Wei disagreed firmly, "It wasn’t a matter of responsibility or irresponsibility, and in the end…"

He concluded, "It was you who dumped me."

"I didn’t dump you!" Qiansui exclaimed loudly, "You are my beloved, and we will be together through thick and thin!"

"I waited for a hundred years, but it turned out to be in vain."

"In my perception, it had only been a hundred days." Diwu Qiansui expressed with rising anger, "Wicked Queen Mother of the West, it’s all because of her, all because of her that things turned out this way. If only I had known earlier…"

"Who needs so many ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’? The truth is already a memory," Bai Wei declared as he closed the coffin. "There’s no need to dwell on these feelings anymore."

Even if we were to see each other one last time, what difference would it make… It would just change from waiting anxiously for a hundred years to "My loved one has returned, but I have grown old."

Perhaps it’s my own fault. If I had just exchanged for the "Rapid Regeneration" Wolverine lineage, this wouldn’t have happened.

Even the most skilled warrior in the world remained too fragile in the face of the supernatural, and could only blame themselves for being inexperienced.

I wonder if, when I selected "very easy" back then, I was gritting my teeth.

Most unfavorable situations in the world are due to the lack of abilities on the part of the individuals involved.

In the cycle of reincarnation, being a clueless character may be the most common situation. Therefore, stumbling upon obstacles every now and then becomes a regular occurrence. Even if one wishes to change their fate, countless barriers stand in their way, making it difficult to find contentment.

But taking a step back and thinking, if one possessed absolute power, perhaps they wouldn’t even consider such trivial matters as "falling in love." They would have been busy liberating all of humanity, dedicating their entire life to fighting for the collective destiny of mankind, to the point where there wouldn’t even be time to have a child.

It truly was an unsolvable dilemma.

Bai Wei placed his hand on his forehead and reflected upon his life.

"In this lifetime, it seems that nothing significant was accomplished. Trying to change the fate of Xu Xian and Bai Suzhen, but failing as well."

"I wanted to have a love story without any regrets, but I ended up waiting in vain."

"Looking back, this life is full of regrets and failures… How sad."

Diwu Qiansui said softly, "And I am still here."

Her eyes shimmered like cherry blossoms falling into a pond, creating ripples on the surface.

Bai Wei stayed silent for a moment, then smiled.

"You don’t have to say it, I still remember, after all, you were my very first former girlfriend."

The expression on the Celestial Fox’s face became stiff, "Former… girlfriend…"