Volume 1 Chapter 13

Volume 1 + Chapter 13: Embrace

The disastrous events of yesterday still lingered in my memory. The weather today was rather cold, so I leisurely wrapped my scarf around my neck.

My movements weren’t as crisp as usual. It was as if my mind and body were working against each other, or perhaps it was logic and emotion having a standoff.

What a hassle.

I had unceremoniously abandoned the disaster scene I had caused yesterday, and today I had to face the consequences of that abandonment.

I tucked a hand warmer into my pocket.

Still just a child’s body, no amount of care was too much. Fully prepared, I checked the date.

Friday?

The events of this single week felt like they should have spanned an entire month. For once, time felt like it was moving painfully slowly.

I stuffed my keys into my pocket and exhaled a white cloud of breath.

[Time to go.]

#Life throws hardships at you, you must march forward bravely#

When I arrived at the school classroom, there wasn’t a single person there. In cold weather, children often oversleep, it’s a common occurrence.

I didn’t have that problem and could get up easily, so I became the first person in the classroom.

This was fine.

It was rare to have some quiet time without running into anyone. I set down my schoolbag, arranged my homework neatly in a pile, and placed it on the upper right corner of my desk.

Then I took a small blanket out of my bag and spread it over my chair. Sitting down on the blanket, I finally began today’s reading.

People can change, but knowledge never does.

I couldn’t afford to give up on studying. Maintaining my usual demeanor, I opened my book and continued from where I had left off.

As time passed while I read, children trickled in one after another. Even though no teacher was present, the room remained strangely quiet.

I had thought I would be disturbed, but when I finally lifted my gaze from the book again, it was already almost time for class.

Looking up, I saw Yuna sitting properly in her seat in front of me. She didn’t seem to intend to acknowledge me.

This was a relatively good outcome.

Her parents hadn’t come after me about the incident, that was already a blessing. Though perhaps they were just waiting for a better moment.

But for now, this brief peace was exactly what I wanted. Being dragged into trouble first thing in the morning and forced to deal with one thing after another, 

That would truly be infuriating.

Treating someone who had just come out of serious care the way I had, that wasn’t just a “rotten person.” That was too mild a description.

That was downright scum.

Though becoming scum wasn’t my intention, I had done it. So I might as well admit it.

There was no good solution for now, so I decided to just let things unfold naturally.

Without any psychological burden, I continued reading during class. The teachers, who gave me special privileges, didn’t interfere.

It looked like today would be a peaceful day.

Even if it was the calm before a storm, it was still calm.

As long as I didn’t have to endure a storm first thing in the morning, I could manage.

After class ended, whether because of oversleeping or some other reason, 

My underling, who hadn’t shown up until after the bell rang, came back from the teacher’s office with a pitiful look on his face.

[Boss!]

He flopped his limp, noodle-like hands onto my desk.

Already having moved away from those hands with my book, I looked at my droopy underling and asked.

[What is it?]

[Waaah! Boss, listen to me!  That Shiroyama guy told me I have to score! Above! Average! On the next math test! Isn’t he just making things hard for me~~~~]

It was just second-grade math. Why couldn’t you score above average?

I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Watching my underling whine like he was crying over nothing, I felt like I had wasted my time.

Inwardly speechless, I decided to ignore my underling.

[Boss, hey Boss,]

My underling suddenly perked up. He took a chocolate bar out of his pocket and put on the exact kind of sleazy grin you’d see from a delinquent in a drama trying to bribe someone.

[Conditions.]

[I’m begging you to tutor me on the weekend!]

My underling raised both hands in a gassho prayer gesture and bowed his head as he made his request.

[Boss~ You’re always at the top of the class, aren’t you~]

Rubbing his hands together and grinning obsequiously, he looked exactly like a sleazy delinquent.

[Fine.]

I reached out and pulled the chocolate bar out from between his pressed-together palms, then nodded in agreement.

It wasn’t as if my original weekend plans could be realized anyway. This could serve as a form of relaxation.

[Yes!]

My underling jumped for joy.

[I don’t know why, but I feel like you’re being really gentle today, Boss.]

My underling chuckled dopily, marveling at how agreeable I was being today. He had apparently only intended to try his luck, but to his surprise, he had succeeded. Overjoyed, he soon started swaggering with an arrogant, “I answer to no one” gait over to his little circle of friends to show off.

And then, he got put in a headlock.

Leaving aside my underling’s failed boasting and subsequent punishment. Yuna, who had been sitting upright and chatting pleasantly with the other girls, 

Somehow got up, came over to me, and was making a sour face.

Though pretty young girls still looked pretty even with a sour expression, 

It still wasn’t as lovely as their usual beauty.

[Weren’t you supposed to come to my house on Saturday?]

Even though I hadn’t expected her to still want me to come, and it felt a bit like she was planning to settle scores later, I still answered quickly.

[After I go to your place, I’ll deal with his things.]

[………]

Having received my reply, Yuna continued to pout silently. But the moment she turned her face away, she put her cheerful smile back on.

What busy facial muscles and facial nerves.

[Hey, Boss. Did you and Big Sister have a fight?]

My underling, who had somehow escaped the headlock without me noticing, came up to me. His expression was mischievous, and his movements were sneaky as he spoke.

[Boss, when a woman is angry, there’s nothing a single kiss can’t solve. Since you’re the dominant one, Boss, you should take the initiative.]

My underling grinned lewdly. I raised an eyebrow slightly and gave him a clean, textbook sweep kick.

[Hehe, missed me.]

Like a nimble monkey, my underling ducked and dodged the attack.

I hadn’t really intended to kick him. I stopped immediately and pulled my leg back.

[Boss, you can’t hit me~~~~]

He wriggled like seaweed in water, utterly obnoxious and thoroughly deserving of a beating.

But I couldn’t be bothered to keep playing around with him. I sat back down and continued reading.

At the same time, the bell for the next class rang.

, , , , 

Until school let out, Yuna didn’t speak to me again. She left early as soon as classes ended.

It really seemed she was planning to save the reckoning for Saturday and slowly settle things with me then.

I didn’t think there was anything wrong with my behavior that day.

The only thing I should have done differently was the timing. I should have done it later.

Even after I had gone that far, Yuna, and Hina still wanted to maintain a relationship with me…

I didn’t know whether to praise their open-mindedness or wonder what exactly they were trying to get from someone like me.

Was there really something I, a rotten person, could offer that they needed?

Setting aside my personality, I knew I had many desirable qualities. But paired with this personality, those qualities became things people would rather avoid.

Hina’s feelings for me were even more difficult to handle than I had imagined. To endure being treated the way I had treated her, it was almost unbelievable.

Why on earth did she like me?

There was the male protagonist, such an outstanding person. Why not like him instead? Why do you like me?

If only she could like the male protagonist like Yuna did. Then there would be so many fewer headaches.

I didn’t understand what about me had attracted Hina. Beyond finding it troublesome, I also felt weary.

Feelings that appeared out of nowhere, completely meaningless, with no discernible reason or solution.

This was why I hated troublesome things. And among all troublesome things, emotional matters were the most troublesome of all.

I was utterly sick of them.

————

Saturday came. I went to Yuna’s house and had a conversation with the male protagonist.

Unexpectedly, things progressed very quickly and very smoothly.

So fast that, from originally planning just to gather information, I was suddenly at the point where I could go meet the male protagonist’s teacher.

In the middle of it, the male protagonist seemed to encounter some unexpected situation. A butler came in and whispered something to him, and he hurriedly excused himself.

After he left, only Yuna and I remained. A few seconds passed, and I could already sense the atmosphere turning strange.

I was about to follow the male protagonist’s example and take my leave, but Yuna took my hand.

At the same time, a text box suddenly appeared with the request:【Do not refuse】.

Knowing there was no escape, I could only stay silent.

Yuna led me by the hand to a room. She knocked on the door, and without waiting for a response from inside, brought me in.

Inside the room was Hina, lying on a bed. Yuna left me there alone, released my hand, and quietly slipped away.

In complete silence, Hina and I looked at each other. Neither of us spoke first.

After that dangerous incident just two days ago, they really had some nerves.

To trust leaving Hina and me alone together like this.

Regardless, I should apologize.

Even if I believed my actions had been justified, the fact remained that I had bullied a child.

Last time, the other person had provoked me first. This time, I had been the instigator.

[I’m sorry about what I did the day before yesterday.]

[……….]

Hina didn’t speak. She just looked at me with sky-blue eyes that were even calmer than Yuna’s.

I stood straight and met her gaze, not making any other moves.

[I won’t apologize.]

Hina said this.

I understood perfectly what she was referring to. I sighed and acknowledged what she had said.

[I know you won’t apologize.]

I knew you wouldn’t give up on those feelings, the feelings that, to me, were so utterly inexplicable.

[After that, I ended up back in serious care.]

Hina recounted.

[………]

My conscience ached. I stayed silent.

[Thankfully, the Spirit User from the surgery was there.]

Hina continued to talk about that day’s memories.

My conscience hurts. I spoke.

[If there’s anything I can do, I’ll make it up to you.]

It sounded very formal. But Hina reacted as if she had been waiting for this exact moment.

[Come over here and hold me for a while.]

Hina pulled her hands out from under the covers and extended them toward me in a hugging gesture, making this request.

A demand similar to the one in the spiritual world left me silent again.

This sense of déjà vu was really quite exasperating.

I didn’t dislike Hina. What I disliked was the subsequent trouble that having these feelings for me would bring.

If she could have those feelings without disrupting my life, then fine, have them. It was none of my business.

But once they began interfering with my life, I couldn’t confidently say I would handle it gently.

For me, it was a nuisance. For them, it would be heartbreak.

I was thinking of them too. End this inexplicable affection as soon as possible.

I believed that would be a good choice for them, and for me.

After all, a swift cut hurts less than a lingering one. Isn’t that right?

Thinking this, I spoke again.

[I won’t fall in love with you. Knowing that, you still want to make this request of me?]

[…Scum.]

A perfectly accurate assessment.

But Hina’s next actions were the complete opposite of her words.

She gently pushed aside her blanket, revealing glimpses of her pink pajamas.

Wasn’t a scum who was promiscuous and toyed with people’s feelings even more terrifying than a coldhearted, emotionless one?

I couldn’t understand the thoughts of children these days. I took off my shirt, folded it neatly, and placed it on the table.

As I approached the bedside, my heart began to beat a little faster.

My mental age was an adult’s, but Hina was a child.

This kind of pink-tinged behavior, it felt criminal.

Honestly, the act of climbing into this bed made me deeply hesitate.

For a moment, a flood of news articles about lolicons popped into my head.

Words like pervert, lolicon, scum, kept appearing in my mind.

The calm that had been undisturbed moments ago now rippled with unease. Not because I had developed feelings for the little brat Hina.

But because this felt like a challenge to my own moral compass. Sensing my hesitation, Hina reached out and grabbed the hem of my clothes.

Her sky-blue eyes sharpened and locked onto me, as if to say there was no backing out.

What had initially seemed like a trivial request now felt like walking through fire and treading across a sea of blades.

Calm down. Calm down.

I lifted the blanket, unable to stop myself from frowning. Before I could even lie down, Hina pounced on me, pinning me beneath her and using me as a cushion.

My face flushed red against my will, out of sheer embarrassment.

The feeling of being held by Hina was hot, and I also panicked.

I had never held a small child before. I was surprised by the softness of her touch, and also taken aback by how tiny and fragile her body was.

[……Don’t hold on so tightly.]

I pushed aside the red hair that had fallen over my face, looked up at the pretty ceiling, and let Hina hold me.

I hated children. Their brains worked in such strange ways.

I had clearly said not to hold on so tightly, yet she deliberately clung to me even tighter, as if sulking.

Hina was venting the dissatisfaction and resentment she had been holding onto since my behavior toward her the day before yesterday.

A child’s heartbeat was fast, but not strong.

Yet this very fragility could arouse pity and tenderness in others.

With Hina pressed against my chest, I could feel her heartbeat very clearly.

Thump-thump, thump-thump, 

I had never had someone’s chest pressed against mine like this. I wasn’t used to feeling someone else’s heartbeat so distinctly. Nor was I used to the sensation of my heart beating one beat, and hers following right after.

This strange rhythm, as if forming its own unique melody.

[https://ko-fi.com/golden_dragon]