Sick and sentimental – we are turning 30

We are turning 30.

People born between 1980 and 1989

We agreed that we could only watch and not cry. This is dedicated to those born between 1980 and 1989. When we look back on the past,

－－－－Maybe the flowers are similar, but the people are different

－－－－In the blink of an eye, we have really grown up.

People born in the 1980s, maybe you went to a new university, maybe you found your own job,

Perhaps, you have found the other half of your life.

Even, you are married and have children.

However, we had an equally innocent and unforgettable childhood.

This is dedicated to those born in the 1980s.

I’m still imagining myself at 18, but I’m almost 30! Is that true? I don’t want to think about it, but I have to face it. The youthful recklessness of the past is long gone. The youthful years of youth have quietly passed. We, the post-80s generation, are already at the end of our 20s. As we approach the age of 30, how many of us can still hold our heads high and confidently say we’re still young? Yes, youth is our capital. Faced with the rapid rise of the post-90s generation, are we still young as ever?

Once, we were proud, harboring lofty ideals, traveling through unfamiliar cities, searching for our truest dreams. No matter how difficult life became, we always believed that as long as we worked hard, we would succeed. We once naively believed that even the smallest room could be home to our most beautiful love. When our careers remain mediocre, when love becomes elusive, will we, the post-80s generation, still say, “Youth is not afraid of failure”?

One day, I realized that those of us born in the 1980s had already grown old. We were no longer frivolous, carefree, open-minded, or smiling. Instead, we faced the pressures of life, the fear of marriage, the disappointment of the future, and the fear of facing difficulties.

Facing work: We no longer have any desires, only hope for a stable job. Risky jobs have been shunned. We, who once refused to rely on connections to find work, are now facing a dull career, with our income barely enough to provide for our basic needs. We have no choice but to give in, setting aside our pride and seeking to maximize our relationships. We are not afraid of the hardships of work; what matters is being able to keep doing it.

Regarding relationships: Marriage is no longer seen as the sublimation of love, but rather as a form of family affection. We no longer crave a romantic and exciting relationship, but rather a happy and fulfilling marriage. I once stubbornly believed that blind dates were a marriage method only for those born in the 1970s, or even earlier generations, but now I realize that blind dates have become the mainstream marriage method for those born in the 1980s. Blind date after blind date, repeated disappointments, have made me numb and repulsive to blind dates, yet I still rush around on them. No wonder a friend said, “I’m either on a blind date or on the way to a blind date.”

Regarding clothing: We, once overly particular about brand names, have become unfamiliar with them. The expensive clothes in our closets have made working-class people no longer have the courage to try them on. Only after earning money have we realized how difficult life really is. We no longer care about brands, but rather the quality and purpose of clothes, suiting them to the occasion. We no longer rush to buy discounted clothes on impulse. Clothes are not about quantity, but about appearance. What we need is the right fit, and brand names are just illusions.

Socializing: As more and more friends start families, I no longer have the courage to chat with them about life, because all they talk about is family. Single people born in the 1980s, on the other hand, are more focused on personal emotions. They no longer enjoy the bars and TV shows they once loved, as they can no longer tolerate the noisy, frenzied atmosphere. They prefer to sit in a cafe or teahouse, read a book, listen to music, and savor the bitterness of coffee or the fragrance of tea.

Facing family: Family transcends love and friendship; it comes first in everything. My impulsiveness faded, and I understood my parents’ painstaking efforts, empathizing with their helplessness. The once simple relationships within my family suddenly became clearer, revealing that interpersonal relationships are never so simple. Besides my parents, the one I trust most is myself. I increasingly hated visiting friends and family because so many people would ask questions about marriage.

Regarding entertainment: I’ve suddenly noticed I’m using my phone less and less, and texting less and less. Sometimes I even refuse to text, preferring to just make a phone call and hang up quickly. QQ isn’t flashing as constantly as it used to. I’ve left many groups, and some I’ve blocked for the sake of face. I only occasionally chat with a few groups for a few minutes before going invisible. I no longer obsess over games, forgetting to eat or sleep. I spend more time quietly reading a book.

When shopping: I always consider whether there are any freebies when I buy something, rather than just buying whatever looks good. I no longer buy things I don’t like just to get a freebie, as I used to. Shopping has long ceased to be window-shopping; it’s become a purposeful activity, buying what I want and then leaving. Beautiful, exquisite knickknacks are only admired on the counter, then put back, never to be tucked away at the bottom of a box after I bring them home.

Facing everything, we’ve learned to think deeply, and fairy tales are long gone from our hearts. We wasted so much of our youth, a time of self-righteousness and utter embarrassment. There were laughter and tears; vigor and decadence; sweetness and absurdity; confidence and confusion.

We are corrupt, we are paranoid, and we stubbornly pretend to be strong; we hurt others easily and are also easily hurt by others.

We chase after decadent happiness and revel in the beauty of loneliness;

We firmly believe that we are different and that the world will change because of us;

We realize that we are no longer young, and our future may no longer be infinite. In fact, how could it ever be infinite?

Those of us born in the 1980s have begun to acknowledge our age. We lack the youth and passion of the 1990s. All we have left is the fatigue of the hustle and bustle of life. Occasionally, we smile and tell ourselves: “At 30, my best years are just beginning.” Even a hearty game of soccer feels inadequate. Long periods of inactivity have begun to reveal a bloated beer belly.

I can’t help but sigh: It turns out that we who were born in the 80s have already grown old, but we have always been unwilling to admit it.

“Today is different from yesterday precisely because yesterday’s feelings are still in my heart.” If you don’t understand, just quit. Don’t ask. Even if I tell you, you won’t understand! Really!