Chapter 296: The Down-and-Out Charlatan, the Fake Immortal

Huang Shanhai led Qin Haoxuan and Xing to a small room next to the Xuanwu Gate and bowed to an old eunuch sitting inside. “Eunuch Yu, this humble servant Huang Shanhai pays his respects.”

The dozing Eunuch Yu opened his eyes. His turbid eyeballs rolled, and his cold gaze fell upon Huang Shanhai. He spoke in a high-pitched, androgynous voice, “Instead of staying in your Garrison Command, what business do you have with me? Don’t tell me you’re trying to pass another letter to that palace maid sister of yours?”

Huang Shanhai gave an awkward smile and said respectfully, “I just passed a letter two months ago, I wouldn’t dare trouble you again now, Eunuch. This humble servant is here on another matter.”

Eunuch Yu’s condescending gaze shifted from Huang Shanhai to Qin Haoxuan and Xing. He let out a strange cry, “Oh, I know. A couple of years ago, you sent your sister into the palace to be a maid. Now you’re sending these two brats to become eunuchs, are you?”

Hearing his words, a cold sweat broke out on Huang Shanhai. He opened his mouth to explain, but Eunuch Yu snapped, “Insolence! When I am speaking, what right do you have to interrupt? Say another word and I’ll have you sent into the palace and castrated!”

Huang Shanhai’s expression darkened. Eunuch Yu often made things difficult for him. ‘Let him suffer a bit,’ he thought, and said no more.

After scolding Huang Shanhai, Eunuch Yu’s gaze returned to Qin Haoxuan and Xing. He looked them up and down and continued in his unique, grating, duck-like voice, “Not just anyone can be a eunuch. You must have a clean background, with proof issued from your prefecture office. Which prefecture are you from? Have you ever been married? Are you still virgins? Also, if you want to enter the palace to become a eunuch, you need to bribe your way up and down. Do you have any silver on you? If not, after the single cut, the Department of Palace Affairs won’t even give you medicine to stop the bleeding. You have to pay for that.”

As he finished his tirade, Huang Shanhai’s face had turned pale, and he had turned away. Qin Haoxuan and Xing, however, remained impassive.

Xing, being a demon from the Netherworld, didn’t know what a eunuch was. But how could Qin Haoxuan not know? He laughed to himself, ‘It seems I made the right choice in cultivating. If it were the old me, I wouldn’t even have been qualified to become a eunuch. So it turns out that even becoming a eunuch has so many ins and outs.’

“Hey, old man, what kind of official is a eunuch? They’re not all androgynous and speak in a sissy voice like you, are they?” Xing asked curiously, looking at Eunuch Yu’s “orchid finger” gesture, his beardless white face, and his lack of an Adam’s apple. “Explain it to me properly.”

“Insolence!” Eunuch Yu’s sickly pale face flushed purple. The one thing a eunuch couldn’t stand was being called androgynous. He pointed at Xing with his orchid finger, his eyes bulging as he trembled with rage. “You… you’re looking for death…”

Ignoring the eunuch’s anger, Qin Haoxuan turned his head to look at Xing and teased, “Being a eunuch is very interesting. Why don’t you give it a try?”

Xing saw the playful glint in Qin Haoxuan’s eyes and became even more wary. He said, “Explain it clearly. How does one become a eunuch!”

Qin Haoxuan pointed to Xing’s crotch and made a slicing gesture. “Snip, they cut that thing of yours off, and you’re a eunuch.”

“The hell!” Xing cried out, nearly jumping up. “Wouldn’t that mean I could never have children? You go be a eunuch!”

Qin Haoxuan and Xing’s casual teasing, as if no one else were around, and their words, completely provoked Eunuch Yu.

Although this eunuch was of no importance, with no status and no backer—which was why he had been assigned to Xuanwu Gate as a messenger—he could still enter and exit the imperial palace and see important people, so even the Imperial Guard at the gate had to give him some face. Yet now, these two brats were insulting him so brazenly!

He slammed his hand on the table in a furious rage, his duck-like voice screeching at its limit. “I… I will kill…”

Eunuch Yu was furious. He threatened to kill them, but the word “kill” had just left his lips when Huang Shanhai, who had been watching the show from the side, quickly covered his mouth and whispered in his ear, “Eunuch, you must not speak so recklessly. These two are immortals. They are not people you can afford to offend.”

Although Eunuch Yu was just a low-status old eunuch, he had, after all, served in the imperial palace for decades and had heard the rumors of immortals in the world. Moreover, it was said that a group of immortals had recently arrived at the palace, and one of them, named Xu Yu, had even been appointed as the Imperial Preceptor.

His eyes bulged, a look of terror on his face. He looked at Huang Shanhai and asked with a trembling voice, “Are they really immortals?”

“I’m not lying to you. They are really immortals!” Huang Shanhai said with a grave expression. “I wouldn’t dare joke about such a thing.”

Hearing this, Eunuch Yu fell to his knees before Qin Haoxuan and Xing with a thud and began to kowtow repeatedly. “Immortal, please forgive me! Immortal, please forgive me! This old slave spoke without thinking! This old slave spoke without thinking! Please forgive me, Immortal!”

After kowtowing, his forehead was already bleeding, but feeling it was not sincere enough, he began to slap his own face with both hands.

“Supreme Immortals, please don’t lower yourselves to argue with a castrated man like me! A eunuch’s body is filthy. It’s not worth you dirtying your hands to kill me!”

Seeing the eunuch’s terrified and incoherent pleas, Qin Haoxuan shook his head repeatedly. He had no desire to bicker with him. He shook his head and said, “Get up at once. Take me into the imperial city, and I will not pursue this matter.”

Qin Haoxuan glanced at Eunuch Yu. Seeing how badly he had been beaten, with his forehead bleeding and his face swollen like a pig’s head, he took out a bit of medicinal powder. “This medicine can reduce swelling and stop pain. Take it.”

Eunuch Yu was overwhelmed by the favor. He looked at Qin Haoxuan and Xing with a moved expression and thanked them profusely.

Qin Haoxuan and Xing followed behind Eunuch Yu as he led the way, his head bowed low in an extremely fawning manner. After all, he had served in the palace for decades. Although he was not successful, he was very shrewd; otherwise, he would have died long ago in the palace’s open and secret struggles.

Ever since he learned their identities, he had acted with the utmost humility. Even His Majesty the Emperor treated immortals with great respect. A few months ago, he had even appointed an immortal named Xu Yu as the Imperial Preceptor. The Imperial Preceptor Xu Yu assisted the emperor in handling state affairs and reviewing memorials. Her authority was even greater than the emperor’s own. This was a major event that had shaken the entire palace, and although the old eunuch’s status was low, he was aware of it.

The status of immortals was plain to see.

The Zixiao Imperial City was vast. After entering through Xuanwu Gate, the first thing they saw was a magnificent front hall with three large, golden characters: Yangguang Hall.

Eunuch Yu introduced, “This is where the court officials handle their official business. Inside are the officials of the Three Departments and Six Ministries. After Yangguang Hall is Chengqian Hall, which is where the officials of the Three Departments and Six Ministries hold joint reviews and meetings…”

As they walked, Eunuch Yu continued to introduce the various buildings. With the Soaring Dragon Nation’s several-thousand-year history, the architecture here was of a completely different style from the Taichu Sect. The Taichu Sect was an immortal cultivation sect, so its architecture emphasized a celestial feeling. Both the overall structures and the detailed decorations exuded an otherworldly, transcendent quality. The Zixiao Imperial City, on the other hand, was the pinnacle of secular power. It emphasized the domineering aura of imperial authority. The architecture was majestic and grand without being tacky. For someone who had never been inside the imperial city, just hearing descriptions from others could never convey how truly magnificent it was.

Xing praised in a low voice, “What a fine place. I never thought there would be such a place in the mortal kingdom. The place where the old emperor lives is much better than the mansions of those nobles and ministers. It’s in no way inferior to the halls of the Taichu Sect.”

Qin Haoxuan seized the opportunity to tease him. “So, you’ve taken a liking to this place? You have a chance to stay here now. As long as you’re willing to become a eunuch, you can live here forever. With Eunuch Yu to look after you, you’ll be very happy. Isn’t that right, Eunuch Yu?”

Eunuch Yu, who was leading the way, heard the immortals’ teasing and struggled to hold back a smile. When Qin Haoxuan asked him, he lowered his head even further and didn’t dare to say a word, afraid that agreeing with one immortal would offend the other. It was best to play dumb.

Xing was annoyed. “They should cut you instead! My demonic dignity will not be slandered!” As he spoke, he glanced cautiously at Qin Haoxuan, afraid that this fellow might suddenly get a crazy idea and harm him.

As they were joking around and Eunuch Yu was diligently leading the way, they were approaching the Imperial Garden when a sharp cry came out. “Halt.”

The speaker was a young eunuch, holding a horsetail whisk, but he was bent over, serving the youth beside him.

The youth was about fifteen or sixteen years old, dressed in a purple python robe, with a bright jade pendant at his waist. His face was gloomy, his expression arrogant, and his pair of cold eyes were fixed on Qin Haoxuan and Xing.

When Eunuch Yu saw this youth, he quickly knelt on the ground to greet him. “This slave, Yu Sihai, greets the Seventh Highness. May the Seventh Highness be well.”

After greeting him, he looked at Qin Haoxuan and Xing with a troubled expression. These two were immortals; he didn’t dare to ask them to kneel to this Seventh Highness.

This Seventh Highness was the current emperor’s seventh son. Seeing the clothes Qin Haoxuan and Xing were wearing, as well as the stubble on their chins and their Adam’s apples, the Seventh Prince concluded that they were men from outside the palace.

The Seventh Prince said to Eunuch Yu, “You dog slave, which palace are you from? And who are these two? Don’t you know that unclean bodies are not allowed to enter the inner palace?”

Eunuch Yu quickly replied, “This old slave is in charge of the Dashifang at Xuanwu Gate.”

The Seventh Prince snorted coldly. “A gatekeeping slave dares to bring people into the palace so casually? If I hadn’t stopped you, were you planning to barge into the inner palace?”

Although the area around the Imperial Garden was not the inner palace, it was still considered part of its domain. One could occasionally encounter noble ladies from the palace enjoying the flowers here, so it was not wrong to call it the inner palace.

“Ah! This slave wouldn’t dare, wouldn’t dare… These two are…” Trespassing in the inner palace, and bringing men with him at that, was a capital offense! Eunuch Yu was just about to explain that these two were immortals when the young eunuch beside the Seventh Prince shouted, “Silence! It’s not your place to speak.”

This young eunuch was the Seventh Prince’s personal attendant. In terms of power and status, he was far superior to an old eunuch from the Dashifang at Xuanwu Gate. At his shout, Eunuch Yu had no choice but to close his mouth.

The young eunuch beside the Seventh Prince glared at Qin Haoxuan and Xing and barked, “Insolence! You see the Seventh Highness and you don’t even kneel? To offend His Highness, do you not know how to kneel? Do you want me to break both your legs? And who summoned you into the palace? Trespassing in the inner palace is also a capital offense, do you know that?”

This ignorant young eunuch, relying on the Seventh Prince’s authority, felt incredibly imposing after saying this. But he had scared the old eunuch kneeling on the ground out of his wits. No longer caring about the prince’s authority, he said repeatedly, “Seventh Highness, these two are immortals!”

“Immortals?” The young eunuch immediately fell silent. But the Seventh Highness sneered, looked Qin Haoxuan and Xing up and down, and his gloomy expression was tinged with even more disdain. He said coldly, “Where did these immortals come from? Where in the world are there such damn immortals? My imperial father, as the Son of Heaven, wants to live forever and blindly trusts a group of swindlers who call themselves immortals, but they’re actually just a bunch of charlatans who refine fake pills. Ever since these swindlers arrived, the discipline in the palace has gotten worse and worse.”

It was clear that this Seventh Highness was extremely dissatisfied with immortals. Although he had been told about them since he was a child, he had never seen a real one, nor had he ever seen one display their powers. Therefore, he had always believed that the so-called immortals were just wandering charlatans and down-and-out Daoists who refined fake pills.

Eunuch Yu’s face was filled with panic. He had also heard the reason for the Seventh Highness’s dissatisfaction with the immortals.

(End of Chapter)

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