Chapter 32: Third Sister

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“Little Taoist priest, don’t call me benefactor anymore. Call me Third Sister from now on.”

Mei Sanniang hugged him tightly for a while, then released her arms. When she turned around, tears could be seen falling from the corners of her eyes.

Seeing this little Taoist priest, she felt like she was seeing her own younger brother, stirring up painful memories. However, she quickly resumed her cheerful demeanor, teasing the blushing little Taoist priest along the way. Her mood improved considerably, though the trace of hatred deep in her eyes could never completely disappear.

When Xu Yan returned from the back mountain to the kitchen, it was already past noon. Several cooks knew he had been taken away by the lady to perform salvation rites for the dead, so no one dared say much, though their expressions were all unfriendly.

‘No one had done those menial tasks for a long time. This group of cooks had all grown accustomed to Xu Yan as their laborer. Having to boil water and chop firewood themselves again—while they didn’t say anything out loud, they were cursing in their hearts, cursing that little Taoist priest for returning at just the right time, after all the work was already done.’

“Xu Yan, you prepare dinner. Go slaughter a pig.” The fat head cook glanced at Xu Yan and said: “We’re heading out tomorrow. I heard there’s a big job. The chief ordered us to let the brothers eat their fill today so they can work hard tomorrow.”

Upon hearing the fat cook tell Xu Yan to slaughter a pig, a skinny man nearby immediately became delighted: “I’m always the one doing the slaughtering. Finally get to relax for once today, heh heh. A Taoist priest slaughtering a pig—now that’s fresh. Xu Yan, when are you starting? Let us watch the show.”

‘Usually, this skinny man was the one who slaughtered pigs in the kitchen. Supposedly, his family had been butchers. While Xu Yan indeed did all sorts of menial work, slaughtering pigs was something an amateur could hardly handle. If the knife went down and didn’t kill the pig, that was fine, but if the pig got hurt and went crazy, it would ram around wildly.’

‘The domestic pigs in the kitchen’s pen each weighed two to three hundred jin when brought out. If Xu Yan got knocked down or injured, others would just watch the joke—no one would help.’

‘Just for missing half a day’s work, these cooks weren’t just dissatisfied but harbored resentment, wanting to use this opportunity to punish the little Taoist priest.’

Xu Yan, who was helping wash dishes, looked up from the large basin and showed his white teeth in a foolish grin: “Alright, I’ll go slaughter the pig after I finish washing the dishes.”

“Look at his foolish appearance. Slaughtering a pig—is that something just anyone can do?” Several cooks muttered in low voices from a distance, their eyes full of anticipation for the show.

“The pig won’t die, but he’ll get gored to death by the pig. He’s so stupid, even dumber than a pig.”

“What kind of talk is that? How can anyone be dumber than a pig? At most, he’s as dumb as a pig.”

“Haha, right, right. A little Taoist priest as dumb as a pig, haha.”

‘The cooks’ mocking laughter wasn’t loud, but it could be heard clearly in the kitchen. They weren’t afraid of Xu Yan. Over these two months, the cooks had all learned that the little Taoist priest was easy to bully and foolish. Mocking Xu Yan had long become routine.’

Zhang He, who was chopping scallions, tilted his head to watch the excitement from the side. Previously, he would occasionally join the cooks in their mockery, but ever since seeing Xu Yan kill someone on the gorge battlefield, Zhang He never mocked Xu Yan again.

‘He always had a feeling that while the little Taoist priest looked foolish, if he really took action, he would probably be more ruthless than anyone else in Yuan Mountain Stronghold.’

‘Zhang He had seen Xu Yan kill someone, but the other cooks hadn’t. This group of cooks had all been at the battlefield’s edge at the time—no one went to the center of the battlefield. Those who saw Xu Yan kill were other bandits, and they forgot about it afterward. A little Taoist priest, and a cook at that—killing a dying soldier wasn’t anything special.’

Listening to the cooks’ mockery, Xu Yan still smiled cheerfully, but his thoughts weren’t on this group of cooks.

‘He was pondering the scent on Mei Sanniang’s body.’

‘Mei Sanniang basically came to the kitchen’s vegetable garden to pick vegetables every day, but no one dared approach this stronghold lady, much less tease Mei Sanniang. She was the chief’s woman—who would be crazy enough to get close to her?’

‘Whenever Mei Sanniang came to the kitchen, that group of cooks would avoid her like the plague, staying far away.’

‘Xu Yan was still young and had no concept of women. The scent he was pondering was the smell of medicinal herbs.’

When following Mei Sanniang to the back mountain for the salvation rites, Xu Yan had stayed close to her, sometimes even walking side by side. He could clearly smell a faint herbal scent on the woman’s body.

‘It was the smell of centipede-attracting grass.’

When returning from Qi Yuan Gorge, Xu Yan had passed through a large patch of grass filled with centipede-attracting grass and had even caught a large centipede. At the time, he had somewhat suspected that patch of centipede-attracting grass had been deliberately planted by someone. Today, smelling the scent of centipede-attracting grass on Mei Sanniang’s body, and hearing Mei Sanniang mention in her soliloquy that her family were medicine merchants, and that five years ago she had brought her brother out to purchase medicinal materials in Pu Nation.

Piecing together these clues, Xu Yan arrived at an answer he could basically confirm.

‘The patch of centipede-attracting grass in the mountains was planted by Mei Sanniang!’

‘Could she be planning revenge against this group of Yuan Mountain bandits?’

After finishing washing the dishes, Xu Yan walked out of the house, heading toward the pig pen while pondering to himself.

‘Centipede-attracting grass could lure venomous insects like centipedes and scorpions. If one caught these venomous creatures and collected their poison, there would indeed be opportunities to kill people. However, the venom of centipedes and scorpions was too obvious—it had a strong smell and would gradually lose effectiveness if stored for too long.’

‘Xu Yan really couldn’t figure out how that Mei Sanniang, even if she collected enough venom, could poison someone like Flying Centipede, an innate martial artist.’

‘Make him eat a bowl of foul-smelling rice? Or drink a bowl of stinking wine?’

‘Venom from living creatures was very hard to mask.’

“Is it a foolish method? Using centipedes and scorpions isn’t as good as directly using centipede-attracting grass…”

Muttering to himself, Xu Yan opened the pig pen door and pulled out a large fat pig by its ear. The pig wouldn’t walk, so he had to drag it forcefully. His clumsy appearance made the group of cooks in the distance burst into laughter.

After great effort getting this large fat pig out of the pen, Xu Yan wiped the sweat from his forehead, found a hemp rope, and tied the large fat pig under a tree.

‘The rope was loose and slack—calling it tying was really no different from just tethering it. Fortunately, this group of domestic pigs had all been well-fed. The large fat pig lowered its head under the tree, grunting and searching around for food.’

“Is he slaughtering the pig or herding it? So stupid, haha.”

“Watch the show. I bet he’ll get kicked flying by the pig soon.”

“Pig kicks Taoist priest, ha! Missing an arm or leg is fine, just don’t get kicked to death. If he dies, who’ll do the work?”

“Not using a sharp knife, taking a sickle instead. What an idiot.”

‘The cooks watched the excitement while laughing and mocking. Seeing Xu Yan pick up a sickle, the cook who specialized in pig slaughtering cursed out loud. Killing pigs required first using a sharp knife to sever blood vessels for a quick death, then draining the blood. Who used a sickle to kill pigs?’

‘The cooks gathered closer and closer, while Zhang He stayed far away. During this time, he had long decided it was best not to get too close to that foolish little Taoist priest.’

Xu Yan fixed the sickle’s handle to the tree, tying it just as loosely and slackly, so it could still rotate up and down. The other end of the blade had a small hole for hanging on the wall, which Xu Yan now threaded with an iron skewer.

Holding both ends of the iron skewer with his hands, Xu Yan looked like he was holding a plow preparing to till the field, except the sickle’s blade was positioned right at the back of the pig’s neck.

“How fresh—is he tilling the field or killing a pig?”

“Using a sickle to kill a pig—only a pig brain could think of such an idea.”

“Watch the show. The stupid Taoist priest is about to get kicked flying.”

‘The watching cooks were all excited, hooking arms around each other’s shoulders, waiting to see the little Taoist priest make a fool of himself. That Chef Wu stood directly opposite the pig, looking at the little Taoist priest slaughtering the pig with complete disdain, his mouth practically curled up to the sky.’

Gripping the sickle positioned on the pig’s head, Xu Yan turned to smile at the cooks. His white teeth made him look even more foolish. The next moment, he suddenly lifted the iron skewer with force. The sickle on the pig’s head also rose with it. Under the sunlight, the cold gleaming blade fell amid the cooks’ sneering expressions.

Blood shot skyward.

‘He indeed wasn’t slaughtering a pig—he was beheading it!’