Chapter 42

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Chapter 42: Title

"Twelve new disciples joined, with one or two possessing stronger inner cores. We’ll pick the best…" The voice paused mysteriously. "A’shang, who among these disciples do you think Elder Shen will choose?"

"Elder Shen is fair and strict; his chosen disciple must be upright. I guess it’s him. What do you think, A’shang? A’shang? A’shang?"

After several calls, Ye Qingshang finally snapped back. "What is it?"

Qiu Huayi sighed deeply, her expression troubled. "A’shang, I should be asking you that. Since we returned to the sect, you’ve been absent-minded all month, even gloomy. No matter what I say, you show no interest. Why?"

Qiu Huayi stared directly at her. Ye Qingshang felt guilty and averted her eyes. "Master’s been in meditation for days. I’m worried about him, sorry for ignoring you."

"A’shang, that’s not my point. When Elder Ning meditated before, you never acted like this. Why now—"

Ye Qingshang cut her off. "Probably… because master’s meditation started after the divine whip incident. It’s my fault. I… feel terrible."

"But A’shang, didn’t Elder Ning say he didn’t blame you? His meditation is mostly for recovery. Why must you— A’shang, where are you going?"

"I just remembered master plans to test the disciples. His meditation ends soon—I must prepare…" Her voice faded as she vanished, the last words indistinct.

Left bewildered, Qiu Huayi frowned, more troubled than before.

In the distance, Ye Qingshang halted her frantic escape, pressing a hand to her racing heart as she exhaled. With her spiritual power gone, how could she prepare for any test? It was just a lie to placate Qiu Huayi.

For the past month, she’d indeed been distracted as described—but not over her master’s meditation. It was because of someone else.

Someone she owed a debt to, yet couldn’t stop thinking about.

Though she refused to admit it, since returning to Frostbite Sect, she’d thought of that person constantly.

She often wondered: if she’d realized his feelings sooner, could she have spared him such pain? Hidden love was hardest to endure—she knew that well. Just like her past with Mu Rongyan.

"Qingshang?"

A familiar voice made Ye Qingshang whirl around.

"Senior brother…"

Speak of the devil—lost in memories, she’d wandered near her master’s meditation site. There, beyond the barrier, stood Mu Rongyan.

Mu Rongyan asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I… came to see master."

"Master’s in meditation. Only the top disciple may approach during this time. Did you forget?"

His tone stayed calm, as if everyone received the same detached courtesy he showed their master. Impossible to read. Though physically close, he felt like a stranger—impossible to banter with, his rare emotional flashes startling.

Ye Qingshang retreated a step. "I overstepped. I just missed master terribly. Don’t be angry, senior brother."

She lowered her gaze, mimicking Mu Rongyan’s usual poise as she turned to leave gracefully.

The figure beyond the barrier looked down and stopped her. "Qingshang, I need to speak with you."

Ye Qingshang thought: …But you threatened me days ago! I’ve nothing to say to you!

Reluctantly, she responded, "Okay."

In her past life, Ye Qingshang rarely had chances to be alone with Mu Rongyan. Beyond sect training and major events, they barely interacted. This life was worse—since her rebirth, she’d avoided him whenever possible. Sitting together today, undistracted, marked their first such moment across two lifetimes.

Mu Rongyan poured her tea, saying, "Qingcheng Snow Sprout. Try it."

Such kindness was unusual. Past-life Ye Qingshang might have trusted it, but she was no longer the gullible girl he could deceive. She averted her gaze subtly. "Senior brother, have you forgotten? I dislike tea."

His expression stiffened briefly. "You never mentioned that before. I assumed you loved tea like Master."

Ye Qingshang replied, "That was then. Times changed—many things did. Including you, senior brother. Including me."

Her words carried venom, and Mu Rongyan caught their meaning. His brows furrowed. "Qingshang, do you resent me? At Yunshan Sect that day, my words were rash. I came to apologize. As fellow disciples, I shouldn’t have treated you so."

"Oh? Treated me how? By vowing to flay me alive? Or swearing you hated me?"

The sarcasm jarred him; it clashed with her usual composure. He shook his head. "I spoke in anger—none of it was true. Qingshang, this senior brother was wrong. Can you forgive me?"

His sincerity seemed genuine, yet it only hardened her resolve. Why should he keep his spotless reputation while her earnest love brought only death and soul destruction? Memories flooded her—she shut her eyes against the desolation.

"Forgiveness means nothing now. Just answer this: all these years, what did I truly mean to you?"

Mu Rongyan met her gaze solemnly. "My… junior sister." His smile softened, eyes warming as in bygone days. "I know your real question. The reason is simple: jealousy."

Her suspicions confirmed, Ye Qingshang’s eyes widened. Before she could speak, Mu Rongyan’s elegant fingers brushed the table—captivating as they lifted. "Qingshang, sometimes I envy you. And… resent you."

"Because of Master?"

"Mm. You’ve always been perceptive. After Yunshan Sect, you must have guessed."

"I did. I just never expected such honesty from you, senior brother."

"Admitting this shames me," he conceded. "But it’s haunted me too long. Clarity might ease that burden."

Ye Qingshang welcomed his candor. "Then I thank you. There are things I, too, wished to say."

"Oh?"

Her fingers traced the teacup’s rim as lifetimes of emotion overflowed.

"Monsters took my parents when I was young. Without Master’s timely rescue, I’d have perished. Seeing my despair, he patiently guided me. My reverence made me join his sect."

"I entered with no cultivation foundation—inferior to all disciples. Without Master and your guidance, I’d never have reached this level. You saw only his favoritism toward me."

"But you never knew: Master always taught me to prioritize you. He worried over you, praised you to others—his proudest disciple was ever you. A grandmaster like him tailors teaching to each pupil. Every disciple received such attention—you included, yes?"

"So your jealousy is baseless. Truthfully, I envied you—graceful, outstanding, admired by countless sect disciples. When we first met… I too held you in my heart…"

As her confession flowed, Mu Rongyan’s initial warmth turned to discomfort. At her last words, he cut in gently, "Qingshang, no."

She froze. "No? What’s amusing?"

He shook his head. "Saying you ‘held me in your heart’—that’s mistaken."