Chapter 23

Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/PazjBDkTmW

Liu Cheng changed his “scary” hairstyle again. He wondered how Sun Chen would comment on his new look, but that was all he could do—wonder. He didn’t even dare to see Sun Chen.

He was too awful, loving someone with such trepidation. If he was so certain he couldn’t give Sun Chen the best kind of love, then why should he stand in the way of Sun Chen having a truly wonderful life? He kept thinking about this question, afraid he hadn’t thought it through thoroughly enough.

Every day, he would drive to the area near Sun Chen’s apartment and sit in his car for a while. Sometimes he’d stare at Sun Chen’s window, watching the light inside like a stalker, and other times, he’d just sit there in a daze. But he never contacted Sun Chen again.

One day, Yu Xingzhou called and asked if Liu Cheng knew that Sun Chen had resigned again after finishing up the final work on the “Living Here” show.

Of course, Liu Cheng didn’t know. When Sun Chen made his decision to resign, he had certainly informed Chen Xi, and perhaps Lin Dun as well, but there was no way he would tell Liu Cheng.

“What’s wrong with you? You know I wrestled with my conscience before giving you a chance, right? Why are you being so indecisive and clingy in your pursuit?” Yu Xingzhou scolded him, exasperated.

“That’s not being clingy,” Liu Cheng corrected him. It’s called being cautious. Unless you’ve truly loved someone deeply, it’s hard to understand this feeling.

“Well, whatever. I’m just letting you know what I know. Don’t come crying to me later if he disappears and you can’t find him.”

Yu Xingzhou quickly hung up.

Liu Cheng walked to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror, trying to imagine how Sun Chen might react to his new hairstyle—though he doubted Sun Chen would ever see it. He thought about investigating Chen Xi, but he knew that if Sun Chen found out, he would never forgive him. He held his phone in his hand, opening the contact list repeatedly, each time hovering over Sun Chen’s name—”aXiao Chen.” To ensure Sun Chen’s name appeared first, Liu Cheng had deleted two other contacts with A names.

That night, Liu Cheng didn’t press the call button. He lay in bed, sleepless until midnight, then suddenly got up and dug out the personal items he had carefully packed away after Sun Chen had left, like slippers, cups, and other daily necessities.

In truth, if Sun Chen miraculously returned, they would go out and buy new things together; they wouldn’t use these old towels. But keeping these things felt like keeping hope alive, giving Liu Cheng the sense that these items were still waiting for their owner.

Yu Xingzhou thought Liu Cheng was too clingy, and maybe he wasn’t wrong. Liu Cheng should be more decisive. Since he didn’t dare get too close to Sun Chen, since he knew he shouldn’t get close to Sun Chen, since he hoped Sun Chen could have a better life, he should just let go.

Liu Cheng took the carefully packed items and moved them to the garbage can by the fire escape.

Then, half an hour later, he brought everything back into the apartment.

He could stop seeing Sun Chen, but he couldn’t stop loving him.

That day, it wasn’t Yu Xingzhou who called, but Lin Dun.

“Did you know Sun Chen is flying to England with Chen Xi today?”

“Of course, I didn’t know.” Again, of course, he didn’t know. Sun Chen would tell Lin Dun about this, he would agree to go to England with Chen Xi, and none of it had anything to do with Liu Cheng. “Of course, I didn’t know. Sun Chen wouldn’t tell me anything about his decisions.”

Maybe Liu Cheng’s tone was too intense, because Lin Dun paused on the other end of the line.

“If there’s nothing else, I’ll hang up.” Liu Cheng’s mood had taken a nosedive, and he didn’t want to say anything more.

But before he could end the call, Lin Dun quickly said, “Did you know there’s a wedding waiting for Sun Chen in England?”

“I didn’t know that either.” He knew nothing.

“Are you really going to just stand by and watch Sun Chen walk down the aisle with someone else?”

“I can’t even see it. Sun Chen didn’t send me an invitation!” Liu Cheng knew Lin Dun meant well, but he couldn’t stop his bitter, sarcastic tone.

“So why do you think Sun Chen suddenly came back to China, and why do you think I told you about it?” Lin Dun suddenly changed the subject.

Liu Cheng froze, not understanding the sudden shift.

Lin Dun continued, “In about an hour, Sun Chen will be flying to England with Chen Xi. Originally, Sun Chen wanted to give you a chance. Over the past year abroad, Sun Chen was working on developing his emotional intelligence, trying to figure out if you actually liked him. He spent over a year thinking about it before finally deciding that maybe you did like him, so he came back. He was still angry, so he wanted to make you chase him, and after rejecting you a few times to let out his anger, he planned to return to you. But you did nothing. When you finally asked him to dinner and a movie, you stood him up—if I were Sun Chen, I would have cut ties with you right then. But he was still willing to give you another chance, as long as you made a small effort. Every time you asked him out, he agreed. And what did you do? Sun Chen finally gave up—honestly, I think Chen Xi is a better match for him. Going with Chen Xi is the right choice.”

Liu Cheng stood frozen in place for a long time, unable to process what he’d just heard.

Lin Dun didn’t give him any time to catch his breath. He had just told him so many things Liu Cheng could never have imagined, things he didn’t even dare to imagine, and now Liu Cheng didn’t know what to believe.

—Sun Chen wanted to give him a chance?

Suddenly, Liu Cheng remembered countless irrelevant details. The time Sun Chen said he’d learned to tattle twelve days earlier—maybe he really had complained to Lin Dun about being stood up by Liu Cheng? When their flight was delayed and Liu Cheng suggested switching to another flight, Sun Chen suddenly got upset—he used to get upset all the time, and now it seemed clear that he was unhappy because Liu Cheng was wasting opportunities, even acting like he didn’t want to spend time alone with him.

—Sun Chen wanted to give him a chance.

Liu Cheng thought.

But now, Sun Chen and Chen Xi were leaving for England.

Once again, he had messed everything up.

Liu Cheng put down his phone and slowly sat on the sofa.

He had already decided that if Sun Chen chose Chen Xi, he would give them his blessing.

He had made up his mind. He would give them his blessing…

Liu Cheng suddenly stood up, bolting for the door.

There was only one airport with international flights, and as Liu Cheng sped toward it, he called his secretary, telling them to buy him a ticket for any flight. Talking on the phone while driving was dangerous—if he got into a car crash and died, it would be his own fault. But if he hurt someone else, that would be unforgivable. Yet Liu Cheng was too frantic to think about that—his biggest fear was getting stopped by the police and not making it to Sun Chen in time.

Luckily, Liu Cheng arrived at the airport without incident. He got his boarding pass and forced himself to go through security normally. Then he ran toward the gate where his secretary said the flight to England was boarding.

In the background, the airport announcements were calling for passengers on Sun Chen’s flight to board. Liu Cheng saw the line of passengers from a distance; most of them had already boarded.

—But he saw Sun Chen.

He could always spot Sun Chen at a glance, anytime, anywhere. Maybe it sounded like a cheesy line from a song, but he could always pick Sun Chen out from a crowd.

“Xiao Chen!”

This wasn’t like singing; it was more like acting in a movie, dramatically calling out to someone just as they were about to leave. Liu Cheng didn’t care about the eyes on him. He just wanted to stop Sun Chen.

“Don’t go, Xiao Chen!” He called out before he even reached Sun Chen.

Sun Chen looked at him in surprise. “You changed your hairstyle again?”

Liu Cheng couldn’t understand why, just before leaving for England, Sun Chen would comment on his hairstyle. By then, he had finally reached Sun Chen.

Most of the other passengers had boarded, and Chen Xi was standing beside Sun Chen.

“Xiao Chen, don’t go… I don’t know how to convince you… Maybe you have no reason to stay, but Xiao Chen, please don’t go… I’m begging you…”

“I could change my ticket and not take this flight, but I’m still going to leave, so I’d rather catch this flight. I don’t have time to say much more, Liu Cheng. Can you do me a favor?”

Liu Cheng was nearly begging, but Sun Chen remained unmoved, resolute in his determination to board the plane.

“Do you want me to help by not looking for you, by never seeing you again?” Liu Cheng didn’t understand why his words felt so bitter as they left his mouth, why they caused him such pain.

“No,” Sun Chen shook his head, “I want you to answer my call. When I’m on the plane, I’m going to call you, and I want you to pick up, and really talk to me.”

The staff at the gate were reminding them that the gate was closing soon.

Chen Xi didn’t rush Sun Chen but instead politely asked the staff for a bit more time. Sun Chen glanced at Chen Xi, then began to step back.

“If you want to do something for me, pick up that call.” Without giving Liu Cheng a chance to respond, he and Chen Xi entered the gate.

Liu Cheng stared blankly as Sun Chen’s figure disappeared from view, perhaps disappearing from his life entirely.

Sun Chen had finally chosen Chen Xi.

With his doctorate in physics from Oxford University, Sun Chen obviously knew which choice was the right one.

Liu Cheng’s phone rang.

He couldn’t understand why Sun Chen, having finally dumped him, would still call. Was it to make sure Liu Cheng fully understood his misery, that he was completely defeated?

This was the call Liu Cheng feared most, but he had to answer it. It wasn’t just because Sun Chen had asked him to—it was because the call was from Sun Chen, and Liu Cheng would always pick up.

He was afraid of missing a call from Sun Chen, afraid Sun Chen might need him and he wouldn’t be there, afraid that when Sun Chen wanted to vent his anger, Liu Cheng wouldn’t be there to help.

Liu Cheng picked up the phone with “aXiao Chen” on the display and slid the answer button.