Chapter 16
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After Liu Cheng sat down on the sofa, he instinctively glanced around the apartment that had been uninhabited for over a year.
Sun Chen didn’t sit down; he stood across from Liu Cheng, looking down at him. Realizing that Sun Chen hadn’t invited him to sit, Liu Cheng awkwardly stood back up, not because he wanted to match Sun Chen’s height or maintain some sort of dignity, but because he felt it was rude to just sit down without being invited. Standing there, he felt like a child who had done something wrong, unsure of what to do.
When Sun Chen saw that Liu Cheng still hadn’t spoken, he urged, “I’m not going to offer you tea. What are you waiting for?”
“I’m waiting for you to forgive me,” Liu Cheng replied quietly, feeling shameless for asking for something he didn’t deserve. Before Sun Chen could respond, Liu Cheng quickly continued, “Of course, I know you have every right not to forgive me, and I have no right to demand that you believe my explanation. But, Xiao Chen, I can accept everything—even if you never give me a second chance. There’s only one thing that I’ve been desperately searching for you for over a year to say, and you have to believe it. I beg you, you have to believe it. Even if there are people in this world who are never loved by anyone, that will never be you. I can accept business failures, I can handle being hit by a car, and even…” His voice trembled slightly, “Even being forbidden by you to ever see you again—but I can’t bear the thought that you might live with this misunderstanding. You can say it, and I can admit it—I’m the worst person in the world, but I truly like you.” He didn’t dare use the more accurate word. Liu Cheng had always thought of himself as a reckless and unruly person, but now he realized there was something in this world that he feared, something that made him so cautious that he was scared.
Facing Sun Chen, who remained silent, Liu Cheng started from the beginning. “I don’t know how this all happened, but from the first time I saw you, you were different in my eyes. If it were someone else, no matter how arrogant they were, I wouldn’t have been so irritated, but with you, I just couldn’t stand that you didn’t care about me. Back then, the tension or ease in our relationship was entirely under your control. During that field trip, when you started treating me a little better, just a tiny bit, I immediately stopped being angry. Honestly, I was already beginning to think it was time to break up with Gu Qingqiu.” At this point, Liu Cheng hesitated, feeling guilty, but he chose to be completely honest. “That’s the kind of person I was. The longest relationship I had was two years, and there were many that only lasted a few months. So when I felt I was getting tired of Gu Qingqiu, I just assumed it was because the cycle had run its course. But then Gu Qingqiu told me you wanted to make the show Surviving Here to find a childhood friend… Why didn’t I realize it sooner? That’s when I first felt jealousy. I had never been jealous of anyone before, so I didn’t understand what was happening. I overreacted. When you walked out of that conference room, it was the first time I ever experienced such intense regret. I broke up with Gu Qingqiu that same day.”
Sun Chen opened his mouth as if to speak, but he held back and didn’t interrupt Liu Cheng, who continued with his story. “When I came to find you, it wasn’t just to apologize—honestly, my main goal was… I’m sorry, I was that arrogant. When I realized I had feelings for you, I wanted to see if we could develop something. However, your attitude made me realize, for the first time in my life, that there were things in this world that were beyond my control. That’s why, when you lost your memory, I lied. I’ve never thought about the consequences of my actions. I just wanted to be with you, so I brought you back to my place.
“…Xiao Chen, I hope you can believe that after that, I regretted it more with each passing day. I became more and more aware of my mistake. I had nightmares every night, but I was trapped with no way out.
“You once asked me why I didn’t… why I didn’t sleep with you—I wasn’t unwilling. I was scared. I didn’t want our first time to be based on a lie. I was afraid that when you regained your memory, you’d hate me even more!
“When Gu Qingqiu came looking for me, I intercepted him at our door. He almost saw you, and my lie would’ve been exposed. I was terrified, and when he asked me to get your signature, I didn’t think twice about taking the document just to get rid of him. I was selfish—I just wanted you to sign it so that it would be over, because I was worried that if this dragged on, Gu Qingqiu would find you directly.
“…You know what happened next. I received the harshest punishment. That night, you lifted me to the heavens, and then the next day, you let me crash back down to earth.”
Immersed in his memories, Liu Cheng had been speaking with his eyes lowered, but now he suddenly looked up, meeting Sun Chen’s gaze, which had been fixed on him without blinking.
“Xiao Chen, even though that day I fell hard, it wasn’t the most painful moment for me. During that time, I experienced the sweetest part of my life, but at the same time, it was also the most torturous. What truly hurt me the most was every time you looked at me in confusion, asking if I really liked you, as if it was something unbelievable, because you kept saying that no one would ever like you. Just knowing that you believed in that absurd conclusion… That’s why I’ve barely slept a night in over a year, and why I’ve been desperately trying to find you. I don’t care about others, or how many people made you believe that no one would ever like you, but I beg you, don’t let me be one of them! I’m the person in this world who most wants to correct that misconception. Please, don’t stop believing me just because I was too foolish and made mistakes…”
Liu Cheng didn’t know if he had made himself clear. He had never felt such an urgent need to convey something. He realized that when someone truly wants to do something right, they don’t have time to think about how to do it right. “Xiao Chen, you can stop believing everything else I say, but please, just believe this one thing!”
“So you’ve been looking for me all this time just to tell me this?” Sun Chen asked after Liu Cheng finally finished.
His tone was so calm, and his question seemed almost casual. Liu Cheng couldn’t find any hint of sincerity in his indifferent attitude, leaving him dazed and unsure of what Sun Chen meant.
Sun Chen continued, “Now that you’ve said your piece, shouldn’t you be leaving?”
“I have more to say…” Liu Cheng stammered, shocked by how clumsy his words felt.
Fortunately, Sun Chen didn’t impatiently rush him out. He remained silent, waiting for Liu Cheng to continue.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I really want to make amends for what I did wrong before,” Liu Cheng said.
Sun Chen looked at him. “So, how do you plan to do that?”
“I want you to come back and finish producing Surviving Here.”
This time, Sun Chen, who had been expressionless throughout, finally showed a hint of surprise. “You know that’s impossible. Even if the network is willing to take the risk, it’ll be tough to get the necessary approvals.”
“I’ve taken care of all that.” At the time, Liu Cheng hadn’t truly believed he’d have a chance to convince Sun Chen to return to the show, but even with slim hopes, he had spent considerable effort to ensure everything was in place. Of course, he wasn’t the only one involved. After a brief hesitation, he added to clarify, “Yu Xingzhou helped as well. He regrets having ruined your chance to become a host back then… In fact, just like me, the reason he did what he did had nothing to do with disliking you.”
Sun Chen took a moment to think. “So you’re saying the network is willing to bring me back to relaunch Surviving Here?”
Liu Cheng nodded. “And I hope you’ll give the show a proper ending. Whether you do it as a tribute to those who died or as a reflection on the accident, I know you signed the accident report because you genuinely felt responsible. It’s okay if you think it’s your responsibility, but rather than just feeling guilty, I’d rather you do something about it and then move on.”
After a moment of consideration, Sun Chen made his decision. “Alright, I’ll accept the invitation.”
Liu Cheng had prepared a whole slew of arguments to convince him, but things went so smoothly that he couldn’t help blinking in surprise.
“Is there anything else?” Sun Chen quickly moved on to the next topic—or perhaps he assumed there was nothing more and was subtly hinting that it was time for Liu Cheng to leave.
But Liu Cheng wasn’t ready to give up. “Next month is the premiere of Midnight Convenience Store. Since it’s your script, I’d like to invite you to watch it with me.”
Sun Chen, who had been uncharacteristically cooperative up to this point, didn’t let Liu Cheng think this was all just a dream. He casually shook his head, rejecting the offer. “It’s too far ahead for me to say if I’ll be free. Besides, I never officially authorized that script.” His tone carried a faint hint of displeasure, not because of any issues with intellectual property, but for other reasons.
Liu Cheng realized he was asking for too much. To be honest, Sun Chen didn’t owe him any kindness, yet Liu Cheng had been granted patience and tolerance he didn’t deserve. He should have been grateful for his luck rather than pushing his limits.
“Xiao Chen, that movie isn’t just your script—it’s your film. You can do whatever you want with it. I just don’t want you to hate your own movie because you hate me.” With that, he reluctantly bid farewell, adding, “I hope you’ll still be willing to see me next time,” and realizing how inconsiderate that sounded, he quickly amended, “I mean, if there’s something to discuss.”
Sun Chen gave him a cold look. “I won’t see you out.”