Chapter 15

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Finding Sun Chen turned out to be far more difficult than Liu Cheng had imagined. The professional investigator he hired quickly discovered that Sun Chen had traveled to Germany, but where he went after that, or his exact location, remained a mystery. The people Liu Cheng hired could only search blindly in Germany, but Liu Cheng couldn’t wait. Desperate, he decided to visit his friend He Zaifeng.

Since Sun Chen and Lin Dun often used “code” to chat on WeChat, and they had a good relationship, Liu Cheng wasn’t entirely grasping at straws. He hoped Lin Dun might know something about Sun Chen’s whereabouts.

When Liu Cheng arrived at He Zaifeng and Lin Dun’s place and saw Lin Dun, he knew he had found the right person. Normally friendly—whether towards him or everyone else—Lin Dun was noticeably cold and unwelcoming.

“So, did Xiao Chen tell you what happened?” Liu Cheng asked Lin Dun.

Instead of answering, Lin Dun shot back, “What if he did? What if he didn’t?”

Faced with Lin Dun’s openly hostile attitude, Liu Cheng remained calm and spoke honestly, “If he did, it means Xiao Chen still has someone he can talk to, and that would make me feel a lot better.”

Liu Cheng’s sincerity softened Lin Dun’s expression slightly, but he didn’t let Liu Cheng off the hook. “Then you can keep on worrying, because Sun Chen didn’t tell me what happened.”

“But you know, don’t you?” Liu Cheng couldn’t help but ask.

Lin Dun was silent for a moment. “Sun Chen isn’t the type to lie, nor did he go out of his way to hide anything from me,” he said, giving Liu Cheng a once-over before reluctantly conceding, “The only thing you can be reassured about is that I’m still in touch with Sun Chen. Beyond that, you should give up—I’m not going to tell you anything about him.”

Liu Cheng was rarely met with such a rude attitude, but he didn’t feel the least bit offended. Instead, he felt a wave of gratitude and couldn’t help but say, “Thank you.” The fact that there was someone who genuinely cared for Sun Chen, who was indignant on his behalf, and who would stay in touch with him was probably the only good thing that had happened to Liu Cheng in all the days since Sun Chen left.

Lin Dun fell silent again after Liu Cheng thanked him. After a while, he shrugged and replied nonchalantly, “Don’t mention it—I’m not doing it for you.”

Realizing that he couldn’t get Lin Dun to talk, and seeing that his friend He Zaifeng had nothing to offer but a look of helplessness, Liu Cheng had no choice but to leave.

The detective in Germany still hadn’t brought back any news about Sun Chen, and with no other options, Liu Cheng had to visit Lin Dun repeatedly after that.

It wasn’t that he expected Lin Dun to suddenly open up, but as he explained to Lin Dun one day, “This is the place where I feel closest to Xiao Chen. I just want to come here to rest for a bit.”

Lin Dun, as nonchalant as ever, said, “Sit all you want. He Zaifeng and I have been thinking about getting a dog or something. Just the two of us feels kind of lonely.”

Liu Cheng didn’t mind the implied meaning in that comment. When he left after sitting for two hours, He Zaifeng, who saw him out, clarified, “Actually, we’re not lonely at all. It’d be better if you didn’t come by at night.”

After that, Liu Cheng started paying attention to the time, usually visiting before dinner and leaving afterward. Sometimes, Lin Dun would ask if he wanted to go out and have some fun. To Liu Cheng, that wasn’t even a temptation. Going to bars or other places like that didn’t calm him nearly as much as studying European maps at home.

Of course, aside from looking at maps of Europe, Liu Cheng found another way to distract himself.

When Sun Chen left Liu Cheng’s place, he didn’t take anything with him, including the laptop Liu Cheng had bought for him. Sun Chen hadn’t set any password on it—even if he had, Liu Cheng knew plenty of people who could crack it—so Liu Cheng easily accessed the story Sun Chen had been writing about the convenience store on a rainy night.

Sun Chen had almost finished the plot he had once described to Liu Cheng: a story about a mentally disturbed convenience store clerk who used stories to kill the customers who had been deliberately gathered there. However, the story stopped just before the clerk’s motive for killing was revealed. Sun Chen hadn’t had the chance to finish writing the clerk’s motive before he regained his memory and left.

Liu Cheng read the story over and over again, and then, he personally finished it, giving the convenience store clerk the crime of “love.” While completing the screenplay, Liu Cheng unconsciously projected himself onto the clerk, who loved a girl who didn’t even know he existed. Everything was just a fantasy of the clerk, who pretended his crush was his girlfriend.

At first, the clerk was just pretending, but gradually, he started to believe it was real and couldn’t break free from his own delusion…

After finishing the script, Liu Cheng even set up a small film production company just for the screenplay. The first role cast was the convenience store clerk, because it was the only one Sun Chen had decided on. As for the rest, Liu Cheng, being an outsider, left everything to others to handle. His only concern was whether the film could be distributed in Europe, especially Germany. Liu Cheng started making trips to Germany almost every two weeks. It wasn’t that he was naively optimistic enough to think he’d randomly bump into Sun Chen on the street, but every time he walked the streets, he would subconsciously look for the figure of an Asian person in the crowd. Then, after returning home, he would go and sit for two hours at He Zaifeng and Lin Dun’s place.

This was how Liu Cheng’s life went on, unknowingly for over a year.

Occasionally, He Zaifeng would discreetly tell Liu Cheng that Sun Chen seemed to be doing well. These vague snippets didn’t mean much, but they still brought Liu Cheng immense satisfaction.

During the New Year, He Zaifeng gave Liu Cheng a surprising New Year’s gift—when Liu Cheng called, He Zaifeng hid in the bathroom to tell him that Sun Chen had sent Lin Dun a Christmas card. “Too bad, if I told you the address on it, I’d be in worse shape than you,” He Zaifeng concluded apologetically. But it was still good news for Liu Cheng, enough to keep him ruminating on it for days.

When the second Lunar New Year after Sun Chen’s departure came around, Liu Cheng really felt like it was a holiday. This time, it was Lin Dun who let something slip—this seemingly easygoing, chatty man who appeared to have no principles had spent the past year proving just how good he was at keeping secrets. On the sixth day of the new year, as Liu Cheng, who was there to exchange New Year greetings but really just making his regular visit, was sitting down, Lin Dun casually said, “Sun Chen probably didn’t celebrate much growing up. He finally came back to the country, but who knows why he picked such a bad day? He came back after the fifth.”

Liu Cheng didn’t understand why Lin Dun suddenly decided to tell him this, but he didn’t have time to figure it out. As soon as he heard those words, he immediately stood up and walked out the door.

Even though Lin Dun had never mentioned it, Liu Cheng knew that he had been helping look after Sun Chen’s place. Liu Cheng had spent the past year comforting himself with the thought that Sun Chen would come back, without daring to consider the possibility that one day, Lin Dun might end up selling that apartment.

Fortunately, before it came to selling the place, Sun Chen really did come back.

Driving to Sun Chen’s place, Liu Cheng once again found himself standing in front of the building. He hadn’t been here many times. The first time was when he caused Sun Chen to lose his job, and he had been worried that Sun Chen wouldn’t let him in when he rang the doorbell. The second time was when Sun Chen exposed his lie, and Liu Cheng couldn’t even imagine Sun Chen opening the door for him then. Now, this was the third time, and he still had no confidence that he’d be able to knock on the door and have it answered.

Liu Cheng’s finger hovered over the button that had become familiar despite him only pressing it twice before, but he couldn’t summon the courage to press it.

He didn’t notice someone approaching the building behind him.

“If you’re not going in, don’t block the way,” someone said to Liu Cheng. The voice was so familiar that Liu Cheng had heard it in his dreams almost every night.

Liu Cheng spun around.

Suddenly, he realized the difference between real life and movies. If this were a movie, there would be some effect to dramatize this moment because it was the most significant moment for him. He had waited for this moment for over a year. But in reality, it was so unexpected—Sun Chen hadn’t changed at all, and now he was just standing there, carrying groceries from the supermarket, looking at Liu Cheng.

Liu Cheng stared at Sun Chen in a daze, unable to process what was happening, until Sun Chen repeated, with a hint of impatience, “Move aside.”

“Sorry!” Liu Cheng instinctively stepped out of the way to avoid upsetting Sun Chen, and then he quickly offered, “Let me help you with those! It’ll be easier for you to punch in the code if your hands are free.” He was really just hoping this would give him an excuse to follow Sun Chen into the building.

To his surprise, he got lucky—Sun Chen actually handed over one of the bags to him. Then, Sun Chen opened the iron gate and walked inside.

Liu Cheng hurried to keep up, his palms starting to sweat. It wasn’t until now that he realized he had no idea what he was going to say.

—It was ridiculous. He had spent over a year searching and waiting, only to find that he had no idea what to say when he finally saw Sun Chen.

They reached the door to Sun Chen’s apartment. Without a word, Sun Chen opened it, took the groceries from Liu Cheng, and set them down on the shoe cabinet by the door. He didn’t invite Liu Cheng in, but he didn’t shut him out either. “If you’re here to see me, we can talk here.”

“I’m sorry, Xiao Chen,” Liu Cheng blurted out. He knew that no amount of apologies would ever be enough, but after saying it countless times in his dreams, it had become almost reflexive.

Sun Chen silently observed Liu Cheng for a moment before finally asking, “Are you done?”

“Of course not!” Liu Cheng didn’t know what was wrong with him. Sun Chen’s casual question made him choke up. He had so much to say to Sun Chen that he could spend a lifetime saying it all, but he hadn’t realized that he had been silent for quite a while. Sun Chen frowned slightly and said, “You can keep talking now, or you can leave. Don’t just stand there—neighbors might see.”

Liu Cheng froze, not expecting Sun Chen to say something so socially aware.

“…When did you start caring about what the neighbors think?”

“About three months ago.”

Liu Cheng blinked, already regretting having asked such an inappropriate question, but he hadn’t expected Sun Chen to answer it so seriously.

“I’m sorry, Xiao Chen…” Apologizing had become second nature. Liu Cheng nervously licked his lips. “I have so much I want to say. Can I come in and sit down? I promise I’ll leave as soon as I’m done.”

Sun Chen hesitated, looking reluctant, but after a moment, he stepped aside to let Liu Cheng into the apartment.