No Money to Cultivate Immortality?

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Chapter 56: Passing the Assessment and Heading to Songyang

“Zhang Yu!”

With each call, Zhang Yu jolted awake, only to hear laughter echoing through the classroom.

Raising his head, He looked up at the teacher on the podium, who was glaring at him coldly. “Get out and stand in the hallway.”

Zhang Yu reluctantly stood up and walked out of the classroom.

Day after day of high school life, yet he felt no hope whatsoever.

His grades were getting worse, and his class rank sank lower and lower. He had fallen from the Demonstration Class to the worst class, and both his classmates and teachers looked at him as if he was a pile of garbage.

The loans he had taken out to pursue the Path to Immortality continued to mount, crushing him until he could barely breathe.

Finally, one day, he found himself on the school rooftop.

Just as he was about to step off the edge, his phone rang.

Zhang Yu answered the call and heard a voice on the other end say, “Hello? Is this Mr. Zhang Yu? We have a new burial plot available in the northern suburbs. For just 200,000 yuan, you can enjoy corpse refinement services after death, with a chance to live again…”

Zhang Yu chuckled wryly. “Your big data algorithm is truly amazing. It even predicted I was about to jump. Too bad you didn’t calculate that I’m penniless and can’t afford your cemetery plot.”

The voice on the other end continued, “If you’re penniless, wouldn’t you want to turn things around? Our Company has the Heaven Mending Plan. If you’re interested in learning more, I can send you the details…”

Zhang Yu hung up the phone and resumed staring at the abyss-like darkness below.

“Turn things around…”

After a moment of silence, he finally reopened his phone and clicked on the website the caller had sent.

A teddy bear on the screen began to speak. “Make a wish to the gods.”

“Just set up the Ritual for me, and I’ll grant all your wishes in five minutes.”

“Completely free, no requirements, and no hidden fees.”

“One click here to refresh your life…”

Watching this scene, Zhang Yu felt something. A painful memory was constantly flitting through his mind, yet he couldn’t quite grasp it.

It was a rage born of relentlessly pressured, constantlu tormented, and because of being forced to endure suffering.

Just as those painful memories were about to break free, his emotions and instincts reacted first.

“Fuck!” Zhang Yu roared, hurling his phone into the darkness. He then raised a middle finger and laughed maniacally. “Think you can fool me? Try again in your next life!”

Zhang Yu’s consciousness froze for a moment before he abruptly woke up again in the classroom.

But the memories and emotions connected to the Evil God grew increasingly intense, gradually bringing something to mind.

“I remember now. I’m taking the Divine Auxiliary Department’s Personnel exam.”

“This exam seems to be related to the Evil God?”

Zhang Yu felt he had grasped the key to this exam and decided to give it his best.

***

Sun Jiayi was inwardly arrogant.

Because he wasn’t human, but a god.

Though merely one of the Patrol Department’s 480 million minor merit gods, he was still a god, possessing the authority to assess humans.

Though he only assessed applicants for outsourced positions paying 14 yuan per hour, he had always worked diligently and conscientiously.

This is what it means to be a god.

Even in the humblest position, a god never forgets the worries of the world!

[Note: This line, “神卑未敢忘昆忧 (shén bēi wèi gǎn wàng kūn yōu),” is a pun on the famous Chinese patriotic poem by Lu You, “位卑未敢忘忧国 (wèi bēi wèi gǎn wàng yōu guó),” which means “Though my position is humble, I dare not forget the worries of my country.” The text replaces “position (位)” with “god (神)” and “country (国)” with “Kun (昆),” likely referring to the Kunxu, to create a grand-sounding, self-important version for the character.]

At this very moment, countless screens flickered before Sun Jiayi, each displaying a different assessment in progress.

These were tests of the applicants’ instinctive reactions to the temptations of an Evil God within the Spirit Realm’s Illusionary Realm.

Whether an applicant could resist the Evil God’s allure in the Illusionary Realm determined whether they passed the Patrol Department’s outsourced worker assessment.

“What’s the point of this Taitian City applicant listing their family’s assets and background in their resume?”

“So what if they’re worth over a 100 million yuan? If they fail, they fail. Do they think I’d let their family background influence my decision?”

Sun Jiayi sneered, dismissing the candidate with disdain. Watching the student’s hesitation in the Illusionary Realm, he immediately chose to fail them.

“Weak will. Unqualified.”

Sun Jiayi was a proud god. The more promising the student’s background, the more he revelled in his divine pride and the satisfaction of fulfilling his duties.

His consciousness shifted to the next candidate, a student from Hong’an City.

The student’s resume was filled with accolades from their First and Second Years, boasting the title of Top Student, frequent competition winner, dazzling talent, exceptional abilities, and boundless potential. They were widely expected to attend a top university or even join a Great Sect in the future.

Yet, watching the student struggle for a full ten minutes in the Illusionary Realm before finally rejecting the Evil God’s temptations, Sun Jiayi remained merciless, choosing to fail them.

“Hmph. Just because you think you have a bright future and your resume is impressive does not mean I will show you leniency. I am not one of those shallow people who only care about scores.”

“Even if you were a proud prodigy like a University Student, if you fall into my hands, I will fail you if I say so.”

“Rejecting after such a delay shows a lack of resolve. How could I let you pass?”

His consciousness shifted again, and this time Zhang Yu’s profile and examination materials appeared before him.

“Hmm, decisively tossing away his phone on the rooftop. Not bad.”

“Now the difficulty increases. Let’s see how he handles it.”

The images on the screen flickered and changed, presenting one temptation from the Evil God after another.

A beautiful woman Zhang Yu admired begged him to join her in making a wish to the Evil God. Zhang Yu kicked her away without hesitation and fled.

While being pursued with no escape in sight, the Evil God tempted him with salvation. Zhang Yu scoffed, turned, and hurled the Evil God doll at his enemies, shouting, “Good stuff! You can make any wish with this thing!”

A massive rag doll chased Zhang Yu, threatening him with terrifying power to force him into a contract. Zhang Yu fled while simultaneously calling the police. When the Constables arrived, he even tried to charge forward and fight the Evil God alongside them.

But Sun Jiayi, still in front of the screen, had stopped paying attention to Zhang Yu’s lively performance because someone had contacted him.

Seeing Zhang Pianpian’s name pop up in the contact window, along with her title as Acting Deputy Captain of the Patrol Team in Songyang City’s Patrol Department, he frowned slightly and said, “What business do you have with me, fellow official?”

Zhang Pianpian replied, “There is a candidate named Zhang Yu. I hope…”

Sun Jiayi raised his hand to refuse, but then he saw that she was already activating her Talisman Register and casting a talisman.

“You dare cross the Spirit Realm and directly cast a talisman on me, a great Meritorious Official God?”

“What audacity!”

But when he saw the specific talisman she had cast, Sun Jiayi immediately relaxed. “A Favorability Talisman?!”

The Favorability Talisman was a type of talisman designed to rapidly increase a god’s favor.

Its principle was simple. It did not require the god’s name, information, or even their account details. As long as the talisman was activated while contacting the god, money would be directly transferred to their account, and the transaction record would be automatically hidden.

Realizing the Favorability Talisman’s effect, Sun Jiayi’s stern expression softened.

“I did not expect a mere mortal from the Lower Realm to be so knowledgeable about talismans that you have even learned the Favorability Talisman.”

Noticing the changing numbers in his account, a smile spread across his face as he mused, “For a high school student to be so reverent to the gods truly demonstrates a firm faith.”

“What matter do you require me to handle?”

Zhang Pianpian was not surprised by this.

Based on her two years of experience using the Talisman Register and studying talismans, she had learned that Faith Level was boosted through top-ups, learning talismans required top-ups, and even seeking guidance from Righteous Gods involved top-ups. In essence, talismans were all about top-ups.

However, topping up for gods required specific methods. Channels like Talisman Register top-ups, private transfers, public transfers, and Favorability Talismans were vastly different from each other, which reflected the user’s level of skill in talisman spells.

Zhang Pianpian said, “I would like to trouble this Great God to lower the difficulty of Zhang Yu’s assessment just a little…”

Sun Jiayi said dismissively, “Bah, what difficulty could there be in an assessment for a job that pays 14 yuan an hour?”

***

In the Illusionary Realm.

Zhang Yu stared at the world before him, his eyes filled with confusion.

He had now appeared in a white room.

Floating in the center of the room was a line of text. The Evil God tempts you. Will you accept?

Below it floated two options, Yes and No.

Wait… is this a trick question, right?

The question seemed so simple that Zhang Yu could not bring himself to answer.

After ten minutes of pondering and still unable to detect any hidden trap, Zhang Yu nervously selected No.

The next moment, a notification appeared before him with the words Examination Passed.

Still bewildered, Zhang Yu withdrew from the Spirit Realm, unsure of what had just happened.

Just then, his phone rang.

Zhang Yu answered, and Zhang Pianpian’s voice came through. “You should have passed the exam by now, right?”

Zhang Yu immediately voiced his confusion.

Zhang Pianpian explained, “Oh, I bribed the minor merit god on duty to lower the exam’s difficulty a bit.”

A bit?

Is this what gods are like?

Zhang Yu was stunned. “You can bribe a god with money?”

“Impossible,” Zhang Pianpian said.

Zhang Yu was about to breathe a sigh of relief when Zhang Pianpian continued, “Spending money might bribe a god, but it depends on how much you spend and how you spend it. That is where your Talisman skills come in.”

“But… that’s a god!” Zhang Yu protested.

“In Kunxu, gods work for money. That is how money can move gods,” Zhang Pianpian said matter-of-factly. “Without money, how would the Eight Ministries of Principal Deities run Kunxu? How would they govern the world?”

Zhang Yu was speechless again. He could only say that he had gained an even deeper understanding of Kunxu.

Recalling her earlier words, Zhang Yu asked, “Didn’t you say this assessment tests Dao Heart and willpower?”

Zhang Pianpian replied calmly, “Yes, it does. You need enough Dao Heart and willpower to hold out until I can find the Duty Officer in the Spirit Realm responsible for your assessment and use a Talisman to transfer money into his account.”

She continued, “Alright, I have brought out your Work Permit and Work Register. Let’s meet at the entrance of your high school.”

“Now… it is time to talk to the Student Council of Songyang High School.”

So Zhang Yu hurriedly dragged his exhausted body onto the bus. An hour and a half later, he arrived at the school stop and spotted Zhang Pianpian waiting at the intersection from a distance.

She handed him a black-and-white object that resembled a handbook.

“This is your Work Register. It grants you one free Talisman use per day and gives you discounts on Patrol Department Talismans learned through it.”

She pointed to the strange symbols on the register and said, “This is the Patrol Department’s mark. You can flash it if you run into trouble.”

Zhang Yu carefully took it, thinking, So this is a Talisman Register. Even the cheapest ones cost nearly a 100,000 yuan, right?

A Talisman Register is crucial for learning talismans, and talismans directly impact Dao Arts score in high school. Zhang Yu had even heard of students mortgaging their own organs to buy one.

“They just hand these out when you join? The Patrol Department must be loaded.”

“If A-Zhen saw this, she would probably kneel and call me ‘Daddy,’ begging me to let her play with it.”