Chapter 94

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Chapter 94:

Li Chunzhou took a very long time to snap out of it. Suddenly, she wondered if, in the next thirty years, Ahu had many nights of doubts about her sudden departure. When Li Chunzhou was young, she heard many rumors about the current emperor’s absurdity and incompetence. Back then, she thought he was an irresponsible ruler, but now her mindset has completely changed.

During the more than thirty years of her disappearance, how did Liang Yongyuan cope emotionally? Would he doubt his memories? Or hold a grudge against Li Chunzhou for leaving without a word… In the twenty years of persistent search for Li Chunzhou, this "dream woman," what was he really thinking?

Everything in these six years, what does it all amount to, just a fleeting dream?

Interrupting Li Chunzhou’s wandering thoughts was Jian Hou’s voice, with a flat tone devoid of emotion, directly ringing in Li Chunzhou’s mind, "We’re almost there… Wait, it seems there’s a slight deviation in the coordinates."

A bright white light flashed before Li Chunzhou’s eyes. When she opened them again, she saw a familiar window frame. Through the window, she could see a small lake, layers of green lotus leaves resembling a dense sea, filled with dew dripping down the leaves, dew-covered flowers leaning to one side, until the restless summer wind blew on Li Chunzhou’s face, bringing her back to reality.

Li Chunzhou stood up and walked to the copper mirror. She saw a bright white peony flower adorned on her head, slightly askew at the back, confirming it was indeed her own body.

"Chihong!" Li Chunzhou suddenly ran out of the house, shouting loudly towards the courtyard outside, feeling a faint nervousness and excitement in her heart. "Are you there?!"

Chihong still appeared mysteriously, looking at Li Chunzhou with a indifferent gaze, as if puzzled by her strange behavior today. After watching her for a while, she asked, "I’m here, what’s wrong, miss?"

The moment Li Chunzhou saw Chihong, she held her breath, her chest rising and falling slightly. She clenched her hand under her sleeve, suppressing her emotions, and then smiled, saying, "It’s nothing… I just missed you a bit."

Chihong didn’t say anything, but Li Chunzhou saw a smile on her lips, nodding towards herself.

For some reason, perhaps because it had been a long time since seeing Chihong, Li Chunzhou suddenly felt a long-lost feeling in her smile.

The voice of Jian Hou disappeared from Li Chunzhou’s mind, Li Zhexuan was also gone. Li Chunzhou guessed that their consciousness had probably returned to their own bodies, but she knew Jian Hou would come find her.

Remembering Jian Hou’s words just now about the coordinates being wrong, Li Chunzhou looked around. It seemed like she had suddenly returned from the palace to Spring Flowers Tower. Thinking about the space, Li Chunzhou remembered the time and hurried to Chihong, asking what day it was now.

Chihong did not find it strange, just calmly answering her.

Li Chunzhou breathed a sigh of relief. It was still the first day of reincarnation, explaining why she hadn’t seen Hongdou and Ming Niang. She just didn’t know if the previous group of players, Li Li and Ming Xiang, were still there.

A young girl ran into the yard to call them for dinner. Li Chunzhou looked up at the nearby building. Spring Flowers Tower was much quieter during the day than at night, but it still made Li Chunzhou feel at peace. She lifted her skirt and ran up the front stairs, following the familiar path to the upper floor. As she ascended, all the servants in the building smiled and greeted her, and Li Chunzhou responded cheerfully to each one.

Li Chunzhou knocked on the door, then pushed it open before anyone could answer inside, and whispered, "Mom."

Li Sanchun put down her cigarette, looking a bit surprised at first but quickly smiling. She waved to Li Chunzhou, pulled her into a hug, just like when she was a child, and held her close in her wide arms.

"What’s wrong, dear?" Mama Li hugged her tightly, with one hand gently patting Li Chunzhou’s shoulder, her cheek against Li Chunzhou’s head, the smoke from her mouth blurring Li Chunzhou’s vision.

Li Chunzhou sank into Mama Li’s arms, suddenly feeling very tired.

She was too exhausted to explain to Mama Li again why she suddenly wanted to call her "Mom" and didn’t want to explain why she had suddenly let go of her grudges.

Everything started over again, and Li Chunzhou found herself stuck in a cycle. But this time, Li Chunzhou began to feel reluctant about the monotonous repetition of everything. Every day, every scene, every conversation she used to rush through, Li Chunzhou now wanted to deeply engrave them in her memory.

Although she knew she should follow the usual way of interacting with Li Sanchun, Li Chunzhou couldn’t help but lie down in Mama Li’s arms, burying her head.

Mama Li smelled faintly of soap, but mostly of powder. Li Chunzhou grew up in this environment from a young age, so she was very familiar with it. She subconsciously closed her eyes, hugged Li Sanchun’s arm, and softly said, "Mom, I miss you so much…"

Her voice grew quieter, and out of Li Chunzhou’s sight, tears filled Mama Li’s eyes as she gently stroked her hair with trembling hands.

Facing her daughter who suddenly wanted to get close to her, Li Sanchun instinctively softened her voice and kindly said, "Good child, Mama knows you are tired. It’s okay, have a good sleep, whatever it is, we can talk about it tomorrow."

Li Chunzhou curled up in Li Sanchun’s arms, feeling a sudden overwhelming sadness in her heart. She held back tears and said, "Mama, I am especially happy to be your daughter, really, really happy… But I… I am not a good child, I’m sorry."

Because I have to leave this world, how long will it be until we see each other again…

Seeing Li Chunzhou’s disappointed look, Mama Li felt a bit sorry, and anxiously asked, "Why would you think like that?"

After a moment of silence, she suddenly realized and said, "Lady Chun, of course I love you. It’s my fault that I couldn’t let you know. After all, you’ve never been a mother, so you don’t know how much I love you."

She gently stroked Li Chunzhou’s back, kissing her forehead lovingly, saying, "Lady Chun, Mama wants to thank you. Thank you for being by my side, for being willing to be my child, my daughter, my little Lady Chun…"

Li Chunzhou was confused for a moment, she looked up at Mama Li in disbelief, tears welled up in her eyes, looking pitiful yet adorable.

Big tears rolled down her cheeks, Li Chunzhou suddenly remembered over a decade ago when Mama Li held her like this. Back then, Mama Li was only in her twenties, Spring Flowers Tower was not even considered a second-rate brothel. Mama Li not only had to run this small workshop, sometimes she had to put on a brave face to entertain clients, exhausted at the end of the day, yet she still had to face a chatty and crying Li Chunzhou at night.

Every time Li Chunzhou cried, Mama Li would hold her like this, looking at her daughter’s face, crying like a little kitten, the tension of the entire day would suddenly ease, and then Mama Li would gently smile.

Li Chunzhou said many times that she wanted to leave Li Sanchun. Sometimes she meant it, sometimes she was just angry. But every time she couldn’t walk away, Li Sanchun took her in without complaint.

After moving to the backyard, Li Chunzhou had a high fever one night. She was too weak to even call for the maids. She looked out the window at the dark night, with thick clouds covering the starlight, fading away in the rain.

Raindrops fell steadily on the dusty window sills, making a dull sound. The Spring Flowers Tower was covered in misty rain, trees swayed in the strong wind, making crackling noises constantly.

Li Chunzhou was almost delirious with fever at that time. She looked at the hazy scene, feeling confused in her mind. She tried hard to open her eyes and see clearly outside, but the fever made her consciousness even more blurry. Li Chunzhou was cold all over, but trembling in the burning fever. She felt like she was in a dream, the scenery was blurry like a ink painting, and the whole night was shrouded in a vague and dark color.

When she woke up the next morning, she smelled Chinese medicine around her, with a wet towel on her head. Looking to the side, she saw Li Sanchun gently touching her cheek.

Li Chunzhou asked her in a hoarse voice how she came over, Mama Li said she dreamt at night, dreaming that she was crying all the time.

In her delirium, Li Chunzhou really suspected that Li Sanchun and herself were actually mother and daughter.

After falling ill, Mama Li had been taking care of her. Li Chunzhou lay on the bed feeling gloomy, but Li Sanchun always came in suddenly, opened the window to let fresh air in. The winter sunlight was shining on her face, and Li Sanchun stood in the sunlight, smiling brightly.

Normally, Li Sanchun was seen by Li Chunzhou as someone who could drink and make money, who could manage the scene and argue, but in that moment, Li Chunzhou suddenly saw another side of her, a cheerful and childish Li Sanchun who loved to talk and laugh.

"Mom…"

After Li Chunzhou softly murmured, she suddenly realized her words sounded like she was being affectionate. She used to have mixed feelings of attachment and reluctance towards Li Sanchun, with a hint of rebellion. But now, all that was left was her reluctance to leave.

Being with someone very close always brings a sense of peace. Every time Li Chunzhou slept in Li Sanchun’s room, she felt calm and fell asleep quickly. Being with Mama Li was like basking in the winter sun, feeling warm and cozy, making Li Chunzhou sleepy. She couldn’t help but yawn.

She wiped her tears on Li Sanchun’s clothes and in her drowsiness, she only heard Li Sanchun’s voice with a smile, "Why is our Lady Chun crying so much…feeling hurt?"

Li Chunzhou pressed her lips together, burying her head deeper into Li Sanchun’s embrace. Originally feeling fine, but Mama Li’s comforting words made her want to cry even more.

"It’s okay, Mom will always be your support, whenever you feel sad, come back to Mom’s side…"

***

Li Chunzhou didn’t know how long she had been asleep, maybe just the time it takes to burn incense, or perhaps an hour. As she slowly regained consciousness, she heard Mama Li whispering, "Lady Chun, the Second Master is here to see you, waiting in the guest hall… It’s chilly tonight, wear something warm."

Li Chunzhou mumbled a response, feeling as if she was caught in a cycle of the present and the past. She almost expected Mama Li’s maids to start helping her dress and prepare, before remembering that the Second Prince was now Li Zhexuan.

The maid took off the white peony from her head and replaced it with a brighter hairpin. Then Mama Li found a light Suzhou embroidered cloak from the bottom of the chest and put it on Li Chunzhou.

After carefully looking at Li Chunzhou and feeling very satisfied, even though Li Chunzhou didn’t understand why being covered in layers of clothes like a bird cage was considered beautiful, Mama Li patted her hand and hesitantly said, "Although the Second Master is an important guest, if you’re not happy, we can say you’re not feeling well…"

Li Chunzhou was surprised to hear such words from Mama Li, her feelings were complicated. She answered quietly and then left the room.

This time, before Li Chunzhou entered the familiar room, she saw the Second Prince casually leaning on the crimson railing, a face full of arrogance with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

When their eyes met, he smiled, still arrogant but not unpleasant. The distance in his demeanor softened instantly with that familiar smile.