Chapter 82
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Chapter 82:
Mi Hongbao’s body recovered at a strange speed, rain washed away the bloodstains, as if no one noticed him, still fighting against the person in front of him.
Mi Hongbao stood quietly in the center of the crowd, unable to ignore the burning hunger in his stomach. Unless he experienced it himself, he could hardly imagine that Li Zhexuan endured such hunger every day.
He blankly looked towards the main hall, feeling his consciousness still foggy, as if waking from a big dream. Li Zhexuan’s memories and "Mi Hongbao’s" memories were mixed together, making him recall recent events as if they happened in a past life.
He experienced hunger and fullness from a young age, he grew up in luxury, he got his head smashed by a rock, he played polo with friends, he lost his life for a few pieces of silver, he gave up wealth just to make a beauty smile…
Mi Hongbao, or Li Zhexuan, quietly felt this strange, intense emotion called sadness, staying silent without speaking.
These are Mi Hongbao’s feelings, now they belong to Him.
For Mi Hongbao, everything that happened today might seem like a ridiculous drama, but for Li Zhexuan, integrating with him was kind of a wish fulfilled.
Because Li Zhexuan has desired for a long time to make Mi Hongbao a part of himself.
Mi Hongbao was the first person who made Li Chunzhou look at him differently. The age gap between Second Prince and Li Chunzhou was too big, so Li Chunzhou only saw him as a guest and someone to rely on. Before Xu Yanqu revealed his feelings for Li Chunzhou, she never thought about their relationship in that way. The other men who appeared around Li Chunzhou were just passing strangers.
The first person who truly touched Li Chunzhou was Mi Hongbao. Their lives had many intersecting paths, like when Mi Hongbao carried Li Chunzhou down the mountain, their relationship became deeply entangled. They experienced many sunrises and sunsets together, turning the hardships on the road into a bond between them. Eventually, their completely different footprints would slowly blend together, making it impossible to distinguish whose was whose.
The word "first" was indeed very special, so special that no matter who later won Li Chunzhou’s heart, they would always come second.
Li Zhexuan knew that Li Chunzhou really liked Mi Hongbao, but he didn’t understand what liking someone meant. He thought that once he made Mi Hongbao a part of "Li Zhexuan," Li Chunzhou would always like him.
***
In the early dawn, the sky was covered in a light gray haze. Raindrops fell like fine silver threads, soaking into the earth and mingling with the green plants. A spirited black horse galloped through the rain, drops collecting on its black mane like pearls, yet it did not stop, racing through the veil of rain.
A young man riding on the horse wore a black robe with wide sleeves fluttering in the wind. The rain wet his dark blue hair tips, bringing a chill, but not slowing down his horse.
Li Chunzhou had a restless night without sleep, repeatedly waking up in a daze. When she heard a sound outside the door, she slipped on her clogs and hesitantly stepped outside.
Seeing the familiar face outside the door, Li Chunzhou suddenly stopped, her fingers gripping the door frame as she softly asked, "A’bao…?"
Li Zhexuan also stopped and stood in the rain, looking at her. They locked eyes for a few moments until Li Zhexuan blinked, holding back his tears, and softly said, "Yes, Lady Chun, I’m back."
Li Chunzhou ran towards Li Zhexuan, ignoring the rain on him, and hugged his cold body tightly, as if afraid he would disappear.
He still had Mi Hongbao’s face, with clothes smelling strongly of blood, but there was a familiar scent about him that Li Chunzhou recognized.
Li Chunzhou snapped back to reality, quickly taking him inside the house, drying his hair with a towel and asking, "What should I call you now? A’bao?"
Li Zhexuan blushed, despite remembering the intimate moments with Lady Chun in the past, he felt shy as Li Chunzhou helped dry his hair.
Li Zhexuan nervously touched his lips, his face turning redder as memories flooded back. He avoided eye contact with Li Chunzhou and said, blushing, "Li Zhexuan… Did you give me this name for me? Then I’ll be Li Zhexuan, now and forever…"
Li Chunzhou could sense his thoughts, her ears turning red, feeling like it was her first crush, "Don’t think about it anymore…"
Seeing her shy, Li Zhexuan felt more at ease, teasing her with a smile, "But you are special, I really really like you."
His voice had gained some calmness compared to the old "Mi Hongbao," and talking as "Li Zhexuan" made him more fluent and clear in his thoughts.
When the child was merged with Him at a young age, and at that time, His consciousness was not clear, so the previous Li Zhexuan always seemed wooden and dull, despite being tall. After merging with Mi Hongbao, it seemed like he suddenly awakened.
"The tide on the Qiantang River reveals the truth today, only now I truly understand who I am."
"Mi Hongbao" has a clearer mind than the child with no specific name, and can better understand the identity and situation of the "Time Beast". Besides seeing all the memories and knowledge He possesses, he also sees the memories belonging to "Mi Hongbao" within the cycle.
Similarly, because of suddenly gaining memories from the past one hundred and twenty cycles, the current "Mi Hongbao" also has a sense of otherworldliness compared to his former self. His mind is filled with vast memories and years, so all the worries and troubles of a young man seem insignificant.
The sense of responsibility instilled in him since he was young has also become as light as a feather. The current Li Zhexuan holds no hatred towards the Türks that "Mi Hongbao" should have, only a carefree attitude remains.
Whether Türks or people from Daliang, they both share a common name for Li Zhexuan – human beings.
Li Zhexuan now views the two countries with almost a sense of divine ignorance, similar to how humans do not pay much attention to the conflicts between two groups of bacteria. He does not care about the disputes between Daliang and the Türks.
This is due to a sense of superiority brought about by different species.
When he remembers the rich emotions he experienced as "Mi Hongbao", Li Zhexuan even wonders where that intense pain and suffering came from.
In all the worlds the "Time Beasts" have experienced, they have encountered many creatures. Most species have evolved plant-like qualities to adapt to their environment. Their actions revolve around "survival, reproduction, and continuing civilization" — silently growing and thriving in suitable environments, seeking opportunities in harsh conditions, and facing death when no other options remain.
The law of the jungle: survival of the fittest.
Unlike other creatures, humans have many negative emotions towards "survival": anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, shame, disappointment, pain, setbacks, discouragement, jealousy, suppression, despair…
They can argue and curse each other, feel anxious during tough times instead of making rational decisions promptly, and struggle in agony and despair when faced with death… These emotions are unnecessary for other wise species in Li Zhexuan’s memories.
For them, the cycle of life and death is a profound cosmic masterpiece, illustrating the deep rhythms of life and eternal dance of the soul. It’s like a vast river flowing through endless existence, guiding them from the waves of life to the tranquility of death, then leading them back to the grand river of life from the peace of death.
Among the many intelligent species, only humans are particularly greedy and insatiable. Ironically, this discontent in human hearts gives rise to another incredible emotion in Li Zhexuan’s eyes: love, joy, excitement, contentment, hope, gratitude, happiness, warmth, fulfillment, appreciation, bravery…
The pain and ugliness of life nourish the human pursuit and longing for beauty, just like the inexplicable feelings Li Zhexuan has for Li Chunzhou.
Li Zhexuan feels the intense, almost religious, sickly love in his heart, completely sure this emotion does not belong to "Mi Hongbao" but to a child full of despair and hatred, walking the path of no return.
In a situation where all humans are deeply disappointed, facing Li Chunzhou as the only savior, he bursts with a believer’s fanatic and twisted "love".
Li Zhexuan used to only see this feeling as a child does, so he didn’t realize it was love until Mi Hongbao came. This ink-like "love" gradually spread and colored everyone who came after in the same way.
To the now clear-minded Li Zhexuan, this was definitely not a normal emotion, but even more unusual was that – he felt no regret in his heart at all.
This unhealthy feeling had no "self". Even though he endured a burning hunger inside himself all the time, as soon as Li Chunzhou asked, without her even crying, Li Zhexuan felt he would immediately cut his flesh to feed her… especially since he had already given his "heart" to her.
Compared to the twisted "love" of that child, the feelings Mi Hongbao gave Li Chunzhou seemed more like the all-encompassing love that a person with self-awareness and healthy relationships could give. Therefore, this budding liking was overshadowed by fervent love.
He was carried along by the child’s crazy love, continuing to worship her, obey her, and be completely devoted.
Remembering the scent he felt in front of the Taihe Temple, Li Zhexuan snapped out of his awkward state and said to Li Chunzhou in a business-like tone, "Lady Chun, Jian Hou is still in the palace."
"Okay, let’s go now." Li Chunzhou’s carefully done hair from yesterday was all loose now. She simply let it all down and tied it up with the red hairband on Li Zhexuan’s wrist.
Li Chunzhou picked up the half-asleep Li Li, put on a rainproof hat, and followed Li Zhexuan onto the horse.
Mi Hongbao was much better at riding than Li Chunzhou, so Li Zhexuan rode together with Li Chunzhou on one horse. His black clothes were already damp, and the morning light shone through the clouds, illuminating his face and reflecting the bottomless dark black eyes.
To wait for the arrival of "Jian Hou", a huge web was woven in this Dungeon World. When ‘Jian Hou’ entered the Dungeon, fate’s gears began to turn.
During that long and tormenting time, Li Chunzhou waited for this day.
***
While searching for Jian Hou, Li Chunzhou and Li Zhexuan unexpectedly came across the current emperor of Daliang, Liang Yongyuan.
With the palace attendants shielding his clumsy body, Liang Yongyuan awkwardly moved forward. Upon glancing up, he suddenly halted at the sight of Li Chunzhou and Li Zhexuan nearby, his face showing astonishment and joy.
He murmured, "Lady Chun…?!"
Liang Yongyuan pushed aside the attendants and ran towards Li Chunzhou. His overweight figure resembled a wall, creating a striking image. Li Chunzhou quietly took a step back.