Chapter 59
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Chapter 59:
Li Chunzhou had been rejecting guests for the past few days, claiming to be preparing for the Oiran Contest, asking those who wanted to see her to come back the day after tomorrow, when in reality she just didn’t feel like socializing.
However, when Xu Yanqu arrived, she still happily met with him.
Li Chunzhou asked while nibbling on the pastries Xu Yanqu bought, "I heard Xiangru Court might be leaving, Brother Yan, have you packed your things?"
Holding his face in one hand, Xu Yanqu looked at her, softly smiled, and calmly said, "I have no intention of leaving."
Li Chunzhou widened her eyes in surprise, looking at the determined look on his face, suddenly understanding Mama Li’s feelings of frustration upon hearing her own refusal to leave.
"Why?" Li Chunzhou asked, frowning.
When Xu Yanqu doesn’t smile, there is a faint sadness in his gentle face. Deep down, he has a hidden cynical side. Growing up in a theater troupe, he has seen a lot of goodbyes and deaths, so he doesn’t easily develop feelings. Besides, he is not an impulsive person by nature.
"I’ll wait for you to walk together." Xu Yanqu relaxed his brows and eyes, smiling as he asked, "Can you give me a chance…?"
Li Chunzhou’s emotions were complicated and hard to express. She knew Xu Yanqu liked her, but she didn’t expect him to be so crazy.
Seeing her silence, Xu Yanqu added, "I truly want to redeem you, I’ve prepared the money."
Pretending not to care at all, Li Chunzhou deliberately spoke rudely, raising an eyebrow and saying, "I don’t believe you! You’re so stingy usually, why would you want to redeem me now?"
She thought she was pretending well, smiling mischievously as she asked, "Are you planning to make me sing in your theater troupe? Or do you want me to be the lady of the troupe leader?"
Xu Yanqu raised his index finger, pursed his lips, then smiled again. His thin lips had a healthy red tint. He gently tapped her forehead, not angry at all, but indulgently looking at her. He indulgently said, "Lady Chun, acting is not as simple as it seems. Without practice from a young age, you’ll freeze on stage."
"How could that be!" Li Chunzhou crossed her arms, chin up, and said, "I’m very good at acting…"
Yes, you are very good at crying in acting," Xu Yanqu looked at her with gentle eyes and silently thought, "Every time I see you sad, my heart also feels choked up.
"I always try to save up money…" Xu Yanqu hesitated for a moment and said carefully.
Li Chunzhou suddenly stood up, wanting to cover his mouth to stop him from speaking, but it was too late. Xu Yanqu had already said the second half of the sentence, "I did it to redeem you."
Many things are different when they are made clear or left unsaid. Many gentle feelings, once spoken, can weigh heavily.
Li Chunzhou looked into his beautiful eyes and felt her heart skip a beat by the seriousness in his eyes.
Despite having better options after gaining fame, Xu Yanqu willingly stayed at Xiangru Court. Even though he tried to use the excuse of nostalgia, deep down he knew he stayed here simply to continue being with Li Chunzhou, or perhaps, to steal a few more glances at her.
Sometimes Xu Yanqu even thought that it might be better if Li Chunzhou walked away with someone else, so he could finally let go. But she never left, never departed from Spring Flowers Tower. Xu Yanqu couldn’t help but wonder, "Is she also waiting for me…?"
So, while mocking his own foolish thoughts, Xu Yanqu saved money little by little—knowing that redeeming Oiran would cost a fortune.
He had been waiting for an opportunity, never expecting that this day would actually come. These days felt like a dream to Xu Yanqu, as if he would wake up the next second. Therefore, he couldn’t resist the urge to show her his true feelings completely.
Xu Yanqu knew that Li Chunzhou would smile at every guest not because she liked them, but because she loved to smile naturally. When she gave him a wooden carving, he used to think it was a special gift for him. Later, he found out that Li Chunzhou simply enjoyed carving those little things and it wasn’t because she liked him.
But Xu Yanqu thought, "So what? She loves to smile, I love to watch her smile, it’s just perfect, and that’s enough."
Watching Li Chunzhou’s shocked expression, Xu Yanqu suddenly smiled. Despite his tired face, his smile was strangely charming.
For Xu Yanqu, the longest distance in the world was the distance from Xiangru Court to Spring Flowers Tower. They were both performing in their own ways, one singing on stage, the other smiling in someone else’s embrace.
Over the years, the suppressed emotions grew wildly inside him. Xu Yanqu wished he could regain his dignity, keep a respectful distance, and stop fantasizing about progressing his relationship with Li Chunzhou… but love wouldn’t let him.①
"You’re lying!" Li Chunzhou suddenly pushed him with anger, her dark eyes blazing like little flames, staring straight at him.
Xu Yanqu was pushed away by her but remained calm. Standing a head taller than Li Chunzhou, he could see her delicate eyelashes when he looked down at her, giving her a innocent appearance, devoid of the usual anger.
Unable to hold back, Xu Yanqu said, "Lady Chun…"
Li Chunzhou turned her head, tears welling up in her eyes. She shouted angrily, "Do you really like me? You just want to find meaning in your life through this so-called ‘love’ for me! You only think about yourself, you never thought about me! Do you think I’ll be happy to hear these words from you now?… Fool! Idiot!"
Li Chunzhou has many complicated romantic interests, but she doesn’t have many friends she has known for over ten years.
To Li Chunzhou, Xu Yanqu is simply seen as someone who may appear feminine, has a low social status, is not accepted by the society’s class structure around him, lacks a strong passion for traditional opera, and therefore relies on expressing love for others to "survive."
Xu Yanqu has a cynical personality, he needs a reason to keep living, or to die for it.
So, the most important thing in his life right now is being with Li Chunzhou, even if it means facing death together willingly.
However, Li Chunzhou doesn’t want to see him die before her eyes.
Xu Yanqu pursed his lips, feeling rejected by Li Chunzhou for the first time, but he quickly composed himself and as usual, he yielded to Li Chunzhou, lowering his eyes with a smile, saying, "It’s okay, no matter when you change your mind, I will stand behind you waiting…"
"I hate people like you the most!" Li Chunzhou cut him off, "Why are you orbiting around me? Are you a mindless slave?! Just seeing you makes me angry! The person I hate the most is you! If you truly want to make me happy, then leave now! Go away from the capital, the farther the better…"
Li Chunzhou bit her lip hard, speaking cold words, but tears uncontrollably streamed down her face.
Xu Yanqu stayed silent and then gently bent down to wipe the tears from her face the next moment.
Li Chunzhou angrily pushed his hand away and said, "Get off."
Xu Yanqu picked up a handkerchief from the table and gently wiped her tears, saying, "Your makeup is smudged on your face."
Li Chunzhou wrinkled her nose, looked closely, and in a tearful voice said, "This is a used handkerchief!"
Xu Yanqu shyly apologized, "Oh, I’m sorry Lady Chun, I will remember next time…"
He hugged Li Chunzhou, gently patting her shoulder like comforting a child, without any hint of romance, and said, "I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, Lady Chun. I will consider what you said, okay? Please don’t be sad."
Where Li Chunzhou couldn’t see, Xu Yanqu’s face showed a hint of sadness and pain, he forced a smile and said, "…my heart is breaking."
In Xu Yanqu’s gentle embrace, Li Chunzhou gradually calmed down. Feeling unsure about her outburst, when she lifted her head from Xu Yanqu’s arms, she grabbed his collar and earnestly said, "If you ever… die, it must be in front of me!"
Xu Yanqu didn’t understand her reason for saying this, but he nodded in agreement.
Li Zhexuan also looked up at the same time, rare for him to take his eyes off Li Chunzhou and focus on Xu Yanqu. Licking his lips, his dark eyes flashed with greed, hunger… and instinctive joy and eagerness.