Chapter 31

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Chapter 31: Illness

     

After a while, Liu Qian stopped crying.

     

She pointed at the stream and said to Zhang Xiaohua: “Xiaohua, look at this river. From its source, it’s just a tiny trickle of water. As it flows along the riverbed, more water joins in, and it grows larger and larger. Eventually, it becomes a big river, a great river, and finally flows into the sea, which is its ultimate destination. If the small river stops flowing, what would it become? A pond, a stagnant ditch. If it stops flowing, it loses its meaning and will eventually die. It’s the same with people, we must go through birth, growth, and death. That’s the complete cycle of life. We don’t know about those who might live forever, but for ordinary people like us, birth, aging, sickness, and death are essential parts of life, just like notes in the song of life.”

     

Zhang Xiaohua asked curiously: “Why can’t we live forever?”

     

Liu Qian replied: “Because we don’t know how to achieve immortality.”

     

Then she continued: “Take your grandmother for example. She’s over eighty years old and has experienced so many ups and downs. From her early days of learning to speak, growing up, meeting your grandfather, and starting a family, to having your mother. She endured hardships to raise your mother, then watched your mother marry your father and live together. She also witnessed her lifelong companion pass away. Now, she’s seen you, her grandchildren, being born and growing up. Her life has been very fulfilling with few regrets. You should be happy for your grandmother’s complete life. How many people get to live such a full life of over eighty years?”

     

Zhang Xiaohua raised his head and asked: “Then what should I do?”

     

Liu Qian gently stroked Xiaohua’s head and said: “What you need to do now is to collect your thoughts and spend quality time with your grandmother. Let her be with her beloved grandson in her final days, without any sadness, so she can leave peacefully and contentedly.”

     

The gloom in Zhang Xiaohua’s heart began to lift, and a faint smile appeared on his face as he said: “Big Sister Liu, you know so much and have made me understand. If I said these things to my mother, she would definitely scold me for being negative.”

     

Liu Qian said: “Everyone has their own way of expressing their thoughts. Your mother tells you not to worry in her own way, and I am just telling you in a different way. If you can understand my way, then feel free to come to me with any concerns in the future.”

     

Zhang Xiaohua playfully responded: “Of course, I’ll definitely be talking to Big Sister a lot in the future.”

     

Liu Qian said: “You little imp, hurry up and fetch the water. The sun is already high in the sky. Your mother will scold you again if you delay.”

     

Zhang Xiaohua stuck out his tongue and said: “Then let’s hurry up. But if I’m out with you, my mother surely won’t blame me for being late.”

     

Despite saying that, Zhang Xiaohua quickly went to fetch the water, because his grandmother seemed to really enjoy drinking the mountain spring water.

     

In the following days, Grandmother’s condition worsened significantly, she even started coughing up blood. It was exactly as Zhang Xiaohua had feared, Grandmother’s illness was not an ordinary one. This time, Guo Sufei was truly worried. She didn’t have time to complain about the veterinarian, Old Chen, or to take care of the injured family members. She quickly arranged for a donkey cart to take Grandmother to town for medical treatment.

     

Zhang Xiaohua desperately wanted to go along, but his mother insisted he stay home. Zhang Cai, the head of the Zhang family, was going, despite his leg injury not being fully healed. It was also a good opportunity for him to see a doctor. The limited space on the donkey cart meant that Zhang Xiaohua, Grandmother’s most beloved grandson, had to stay behind.

     

The donkey cart carrying the group set off early in the morning. Zhang Xiaohua helped Liu Qian take care of his two injured older brothers and lent a hand with the household chores. However, his thoughts were still with his grandmother, and he frequently glanced outside.

     

Although Liu Qian wanted to tell him that his grandmother wouldn’t be back until nightfall, she refrained when she saw the anxious and absent-minded expressions on Zhang Xiaohua and his brothers, Zhang Xiaolong and Zhang Xiaohu. Instead, she attentively took care of the household chores without saying any comforting words.

     

Time passed bit by bit, and the sky gradually darkened. Finally, Zhang Xiaohua saw the long-awaited donkey cart in the distance. He immediately jumped off the chair and, without saying a word to his two brothers, dashed out of the house. In his haste, he tripped over a small stool by the door and almost fell. Ignoring the stool he had kicked aside, he rushed out the door.

     

As Zhang Xiaohua ran out through the small gate, the donkey cart drew closer. The driver leaped down from the cart and walked a few more steps ahead, leading the little donkey by the reins until he reached Zhang Xiaohua. He then grabbed the reins and halted the cart in front of the gate to the Zhang family courtyard.

     

The three people sitting in the back of the cart, dressed in thick clothing, were barely visible in the twilight. Before the cart even came to a halt, Zhang Xiaohua heard one of them cough heavily. With a pang in his heart, he walked up to the cart and called out gently: “Grandma~.” Unfortunately, Grandmother was in the midst of a difficult coughing fit and couldn’t respond to her grandson’s greeting.

     

Guo Sufei got off the cart first and called over Zhang Xiaohu, who had rushed over, to help Zhang Cai down. Then, she, along with Liu Qian and Zhang Xiaohua, carefully assisted Grandmother down from the cart after her coughing fit.

     

Zhang Cai settled the payment with the driver, and the cart departed, leaving the Zhang family standing in the dusk.

     

Liu Qian and Zhang Xiaohua supported Grandmother as they made their way to her room, listening to her coughing all the while, which broke Zhang Xiaohua’s heart. But halfway there, Grandmother laboriously said: “Let’s go to the main hall first and spend some time together.”

     

Following her words, the two of them helped Grandmother into the main hall.

     

Guo Sufei anxiously followed inside, followed by Zhang Xiaohu supporting the limping and downcast Zhang Cai, and finally, Zhang Xiaolong entered with his arm still slung across his chest.

     

The main hall was not spacious to begin with, and with everyone inside, the air seemed to freeze as they sat in silence.

     

At this moment, Grandmother started coughing again. Liu Qian hurried over, poured her a glass of warm water, and helped her drink it, gradually easing her cough.

     

Liu Qian wanted to speak, to break the silence, but she didn’t know how to start.

     

Finally, Grandmother spoke up: “The doctors in town are really expensive. Sufei, let’s not go there next time. It costs a whole silver coin just for one visit. How long do we have to work to afford that as a family?”

     

Guo Sufei forced a smile and said: “Mother, we have to go to the doctor when we’re sick. Even if we’re poor, we can’t neglect our health.”

     

Grandmother continued: “I know my own illness. It’s not something a doctor can cure. I said I didn’t want to go, but you insisted on wasting that silver coin.”

     

Guo Sufei’s eyes welled up with tears as she said: “Mother, please don’t worry about us. Zhang Cai also needs to see a doctor, so we just went along the way.”

     

Grandmother sighed and fell silent. After drinking a little more water, her cough seemed to ease, so she allowed Xiaohua to help her back to her room to rest.

     

Zhang Xiaohua escorted Grandmother to the kang, covered her with a blanket, and she seemed tired, quickly drifting off to sleep. Zhang Xiaohua then quietly slipped out of the room.

     

Back in the main hall, Zhang Xiaohua’s mother was quietly sobbing, wiping her tears incessantly. His father sat with a grim expression, smoking his pipe in silence. His elder brothers, along with Liu Qian, also wore troubled expressions.

     

Knowing that Grandmother’s condition was dire didn’t surprise Zhang Xiaohua, so he didn’t bother asking about the specifics of her illness. Instead, he silently found a small stool and sat in the shadow of the wall.

     

After a while, Guo Sufei managed to regain some composure, ceasing her tears. It seemed only then she noticed Zhang Xiaohua had returned. She softly asked: “Xiaohua, has your grandmother fallen asleep?”

     

Zhang Xiaohua nodded and replied: “Yes, mother. Grandmother seemed tired. She lay down on the kang and fell asleep shortly after.”

     

Turning to Zhang Cai, Guo Sufei asked: “What should we do, husband? Should we go to a bigger city to find better doctors?”

     

Zhang Cai took a deep drag from his pipe, exhaled slowly, and squinted as he said: “Sigh, didn’t you hear what the doctor said? Mother’s illness isn’t just a regular cough. It’s because she’s getting older, and her body can’t handle it anymore. There’s no way to cure it. Besides, with her condition, can she even make it to a bigger city? The nearest one, Pingyang City, is said to take a day and night even on a fast horse. Mother might not be able to endure the journey.”

     

Guo Sufei’s voice quivered with sadness as she said: “So we just have to watch Mother’s health deteriorate bit by bit? Listen to her coughing so hard every day?”

     

Zhang Cai smiled bitterly and said: “It’s just the way things are. Didn’t the doctor say so? People of Mother’s age are rare, and for someone in their eighties, her health is considered good. I think we should listen to the doctor and let Mother rest well, eat well, and live comfortably during this time.”

     

Guo Sufei knew there was no other way. She realized that Mother had reached the end of her life journey, but she still held onto a glimmer of hope, resorting to desperate measures in an attempt to grasp onto something. However, in the face of this harsh reality, how much value could a person’s hope truly hold?

     

Guo Sufei gazed weakly at the flickering flame of the oil lamp, lost in thought. Suddenly, she asked Zhang Cai: “By the way, husband, what did the doctor say about that thing Mother ate, why didn’t I know?”

     

Upon hearing this, Zhang Cai looked up, puzzled, at Guo Sufei.

     

Everyone chimed in simultaneously: “What thing?”

     

Zhang Cai knocked his pipe and continued: “Initially, the doctor at the clinic said your grandmother’s condition was dire, and there wasn’t much to diagnose. He mentioned that the cough was just a superficial symptom, while her internal state was already a mess. However, after your mother pleaded earnestly, he conducted a more thorough examination. That’s when he discovered that despite your grandmother’s deteriorating health, there was still a trace of vitality sustaining her. However, this vitality was too weak to sustain her life. The doctor speculated that it must be due to something like ginseng that your grandmother had been consuming recently.”

     

Everyone was stunned. Ginseng? How could they afford such a thing?