Chapter 30
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Chapter 30: “Uh-huh, just as funny as I am. Me, a funny pig.”
Du Yinsui awakened to birdsong in the dawn-lit forest. Opening her eyes, she saw Jiang Wu already sitting beside her, eagerly scanning their surroundings…
It marked the tenth day of exile.
No one understood how the guards chose their route northward from the Capital. Only three nights offered shelter: the first at Taoyuan Post Station, the second at Sanqiao Post Station, and the fifth in a dilapidated Mountain Spirit Temple.
Since then, the group had camped only in wastelands or riverbanks, avoiding every village and town. They hadn’t seen another post station—or even an official road.
This frustrated Du Yinsui’s plan to visit an apothecary and match herbal names to their scents. Her studies remained postponed.
After Du Yinsui regained consciousness, the guards relaxed their vigilance. Gone were the first four days when they’d wanted to tie everyone to trees. Now, mornings and afternoons allowed movement within the guards’ sight. Evenings often involved gathering firewood; extra wood let them build fires and cook hot meals.
Best of all, as the Wei family girl predicted, the guards split their foraged finds: half the meat went to the guards, the rest stayed with the gatherers. Unwanted wild vegetables and mushrooms were kept freely.
Thanks to this rule, Du Yinsui’s group breakfasted on chicken porridge.
Yesterday’s firewood gathering yielded six wild chickens. The guards took three; Du Yinsui roasted the others.
They ate the meat and simmered the bones overnight in a clay pot traded for rabbit meat with the Wei family and guards. Adding water the next night produced two fresh pots of broth by dawn.
Richness mattered little. Torn gray vegetables and dried mushrooms went in, followed by crumbled morning rations of hard black bread loaves. The result was fragrant and satisfying.
Chu Xiulan drowsily tended the fire, stirring each pot with a bamboo spoon.
Beside her, young Qin Haoyang wore a stern expression. He opened a bamboo cup pair, retrieved a cloth bag, and carefully sprinkled salt over scalded shepherd’s purse.
“Salt’s nearly gone,” he said, storing the bag. Using bamboo chopsticks, he scooped chicken fat from another tube to dress the greens.
“We’ll manage. We’ll likely reach a post station or village within a day or two,” Du Yinsui stated confidently.
The salt came from the guards during the pot trade. With resupply imminent, bartering more seemed unnecessary.
Last night’s camp lay near the Kong family. Perhaps roasted rabbit teased their senses—Du Yinsui overheard much gossip.
White-flour buns costing one silver each… mixed-flour buns at two for one silver… complaints about constant snacking… ten days’ rations gone in six…
Clearly, the Kongs had wealth, and the guards meant to bleed them dry.
If the Kongs planned for ten days, resupply should come the day after tomorrow. But sunrise-to-sunset marches made a day’s variance normal.
Du Yinsui accepted this; the Kongs did not.
That morning, the scent of chicken soup reached the Kongs. Already bitter after paying for overpriced black bread loaves for two days, their faces darkened like the loaves themselves.
The guards should’ve distributed those loaves freely. Instead, seeing the Kongs’ shortage, they charged inflated prices—demanding mixed-flour bun rates.
Worse, though these black bread loaves lacked Sanqiao Post Station’s sour stench, they tasted gritty, hard, and dry. Even reheating couldn’t improve them.
The costly rations vanished quickly. Blame flew among the Kongs, fraying their last threads of harmony. Now, despite boiling water, they soaked individual loaves rather than cooking them together.
Kong Fangqiu glared at his second son ladling extra water. This dog! From day one, he’d urged extra portions. With so many taking “just a bit more,” ten days’ food vanished in six—all his fault!
His son ignored him, tearing bread and sipping water. Kong Fangqiu then glared rightward.
Infuriating!
They paid fortunes for gritty black bread loaves, while those spending nothing ate rats, then rabbits, now chicken! Was this exile or a picnic?
And those money-grubbing guards! Letting them live better than guards themselves!
Naturally… it wasn’t allowed.
A few days ago, after Ma Datou and Jiang Wu caught bamboo rats at the Mountain Spirit Temple, Zhao Qi right away urged Tan Wang to take Jiang Wu’s share of the bamboo rats. Tan Wang paused but finally said no.
One reason was Ma Datou, who rarely spoke up, argued and begged for them. Another reason was Tan Wang remembered "how things used to be." Even back then, he wouldn’t have grabbed everything.
Of course, the main reason was Zhao Qi had pushed too far. Tan Wang, being a guard himself, knew their troubles. He could ignore his men taking small bribes or blowing off steam. For instance, it was clear Zhao Qi took a bribe to bother Jiang Wu’s group. Tan Wang thought if Zhao Qi didn’t go overboard, he could let it slide.
But Master Xu openly stepped in, so Tan Wang wanted his men to pay attention. No matter who bribed them, on the road, they had to stick together.
Tan Wang allowed the nine bamboo rats from the Mountain Spirit Temple. He took the eleven rabbits from two days before. With only three wild chickens yesterday, he had no cause to fuss.
But! They only got quick breaks for meals morning and afternoon, and barely any time for firewood at night. Yet they hunted so well, it seemed fishy.
The eleven rabbits brought by Wu Li worried Tan Wang. So yesterday, he took the Deposed Crown Prince’s group to gather firewood.
After going out, he found the Deposed Crown Prince had no hidden fighting skills. The real trouble was the Deposed Crown Princess on the cart.
He hadn’t even seen wild chickens when the Deposed Crown Princess told everyone to hush and dig rough traps right there.
Jiang Wu, the Deposed Crown Prince, followed Du Yinsui’s orders like her own hands—digging holes or walking exact steps ahead…
Though Tan Wang went with Jiang Wu and saw no wild chickens, by counting steps and heeding Du Yinsui’s yells, they rushed into bushes…
Sure enough, wild chickens flew out from the quiet shrubs.
They used plain traps and muscle to catch the whole bunch. The weirdest one was when Jiang Wu jumped into thick grass as Du Yinsui ordered and held a chicken down.
Claims of good eyesight could only fool a fool.
But… if not good eyesight, Tan Wang couldn’t think of another reason.
Whether Jiang Wu’s vision was real or not, it was better for the Deposed Crown Princess to have this odd skill than for the Crown Prince to be a threat.
The bamboo rats tasted rich, the rabbits were soft, and the wild chickens juicy—way better than their salted meat. Pleased with the food, Tan Wang saw no reason to stop Jiang Wu’s group from hunting more.
However…
Sipping wild chicken and egg dumpling soup, Tan Wang squinted at Master Xu’s far-off carriage. There, Zhao Qi stood bent over, whispering through a half-lifted curtain to someone inside.
Totally annoying, Tan Wang thought.
Master Xu felt the same.
"Master Xu, don’t you see? They’re meant to pay for crimes in exile, but they live like they’re on holiday! In just days, their cart has a full set of dishes, two clay pots for soup, and a pole hung with cloud ear mushrooms. Eating meat and veggie pies daily, they’re almost living better than you. Is that how prisoners should act? Tan spoils them—it’s a mess!" Zhao Qi whined nonstop.
"Wasn’t that your old way? They kept so much after splitting because they’re good," Master Xu leaned against the carriage, saying this but not fully meaning it.
After all, the intention from above was to torment them. Their days had become… somewhat too comfortable lately. Still, he decided to wait a few more days; if the prisoners continued living without worries, he’d need to remind Tan Wang.
Unable to hear Xu Lv’s thoughts, Zhao Qi remained disgruntled: "What old rules? We only left scraps out of pity. On this journey, we control the prisoners—they deserve no private possessions beyond what we grant. Master Xu, don’t forget the Second Prince sent us to humiliate and torment the Deposed Crown Prince. Don’t grow soft-hearted."
"Are you instructing me?" Xu Lv’s face darkened.
"Never," Zhao Qi lowered his gaze. "I merely offer a reminder. Aren’t we bound together? Succeeding pleases the Second Prince and benefits us all."
"Understood. Leave now." Xu Lv had no patience for fools. He snatched the carriage curtain from Zhao Qi’s hand.
The curtain fell, dividing the space inside and outside once more.
*Who shares a ‘we’ with you?*
Xu Lv glared at the curtain and rolled his eyes.
That night at Mountain Spirit Temple, Zhao Qi had startled him by spouting nonsense unexpectedly.
Xu Lv had indeed joined the mission under the Second Prince’s orders, tasked like Zhao Qi. Yet only Xu Lv should’ve known Zhao Qi and Chen Gang also served the prince—they weren’t supposed to know his role. Unfortunately, the eunuch the Second Prince dispatched happened to be Zhao Qi’s relative, revealing everything.
*Hiring such incompetents proves the Second Prince a fool himself! And Xu Lv wasn’t meant to take orders from fools!*
Fuming silently in the carriage, Xu Lv finally lifted the curtain—Zhao Qi had vanished. After steadying his breath, he stared southwest. Only his true master deserved such loyalty!
Du Yinsui, now settled far from Xu Lv’s carriage, remained unaware Zhao Qi eyed their belongings again.
"I hope Huiqing and I gather firewood together tonight. We might identify more edible greens," Chu Xiulan remarked, stirring the nearly cooked goosefoot in the pot. She cracked two wild eggs, adding one to each pot. "The more we learn, the less you’ll snatch random plants. Remember what happened last time—"
"Haven’t done that for days!" Du Yinsui covered her ears defensively. She wasn’t foolish; with proper food available, eating weeds felt unnecessary.
"After finishing the pheasant yesterday, didn’t you immediately pluck two grasses?" Chu Xiulan countered precisely.
"It was impulsive…" Du Yinsui wondered if all mothers nagged relentlessly. Trapped on the cart, relief washed over her when familiar figures appeared. "Ah! They’re back!"
Jiang Wu and his little master had returned.
The little one marched ahead, chin lifted, one small arm swinging while the other extended steadily for Jiang Wu to support.
"Yao’er! Stop troubling your Brother Jiang!" Chu Xiulan set down her spoon, hurried over, and lifted the posing child onto the cart.
"Tiny yet acting so official!" Du Yinsui chuckled, pinching the little one’s cheek. "Teaching tree-climbing made you this proud? What’s next—riding shoulders?"
"Ride!" Yao’er’s eyes sparkled at Jiang Wu. "Ride! Ride!"
Du Yinsui: "…"
Jiang Wu pretended not to notice the eager gaze. He retrieved two bamboo cups from his robe, handing them to Du Yinsui. "Found thirty-one bird eggs today. We’ll share with—"
"Wait." Du Yinsui interrupted, tilting the child’s chin. "Count for us: thirty-one eggs. How many for you? How many for me? How many remain for everyone?"
The little one, who had just been eagerly chanting "ride, ride, ride" to Jiang Wu, suddenly stopped smiling. She covered her ears and snuggled back into Du Yinsui’s arms, ignoring everything around her.
Chu Xiulan laughed, "Haha, why is Yao’er getting funnier? She acts just like you, Du girl—ignoring what she doesn’t like. Anyone who saw it would think she’s your… um, your real sister." She patted herself on the back for her quick save.
Du Yinsui shot a sidelong glance and said, "Yep, just as funny as me. I’m a funny pig."
Chu Xiulan: "…"
A hint of awkwardness hung in the air.
The next moment, her son burst into muffled giggles beside them, barely holding them in. That made it even more awkward.
"How many of the thirty-one did you get?" Du Yinsui asked, looking up at Jiang Wu. She didn’t think it was a hard question.
"Thirteen. I found three nests, but they didn’t have many eggs," Jiang Wu replied with an embarrassed smile. "Yao Yao found two nests."
"Hmph!" The little one, who had been eavesdropping, turned over angrily.
"Oh, someone found one less nest than her student, so she has to act like the master?" Du Yinsui chuckled. "You really should practice counting—your total eggs are more!" She playfully tickled the little one’s pouting cheeks. "It’s easy math. You promised me one egg per nest as guide fee, and Sister Jiang one egg per nest as tuition fee. Go on, count it up."
Annoyed about finding one fewer nest, the little one buried herself back into Du Yinsui’s arms, pretending she wasn’t there.
"Did you cook anything new today?" Jiang Wu crouched beside Qin Haoyang.
He sat up straight, alert. "Sister Jiang, you want to learn this too?"
"Yes," Jiang Wu nodded, pointing to the eggs in the bamboo cup. "Later, I’ll give you extra from my share."
Qin Haoyang: "…"
He wanted to say yes. But… he only knew a few dishes, and if Sister Jiang learned them all, Sister Du wouldn’t praise him anymore! Qin Haoyang puffed his cheeks, wrestling with the choice.
This was Qin Chongli’s fourth day of hard fishing.
He finally caught fish! They were small, only palm-sized, but he got two!
No one knew how tough it was with just a makeshift bamboo rod, a line made from cloth strips, and a bamboo hook.
But he succeeded! He wouldn’t admit that he’d been trying so hard because he saw Jiang Wu doting on his granddaughter, teaching her to climb trees and calling her "little master" all the time.
After all, book learning couldn’t beat survival skills. But! Eggs were nothing next to fish, right? See, a teacher was a real teacher!
Only… grandson and grandfather were so alike. First, the little one marched proudly back; next, Qin Chongli returned triumphantly with his rod.
Qin Chongli was so excited about his catch that he walked with a spring in his step. But before he could show off the two fish hidden behind his back, he saw Jiang Wu teaching his little grandson to cook, calling him "master chef" over and over… Alright, fine! One little master wasn’t enough; now there was a master chef too! Having such students was truly a blessing!
