Chapter 92
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Chapter 92: Swearing in the Name of God, Embracing Death
After many years, a certain savior once again experienced the "evil" within human nature.
Chu Yuanqing sat by the bed, her face turning red, feeling dizzy.
With the debuff of a broken soul already occupying brain capacity, the lesbian incident in front of her caused the CPU to overheat.
What’s crucial is that Tang Liuli’s prank, due to some "accidents", unexpectedly completed a higher level of magic restoration process than the previous one.
The witch’s senses suddenly revived, and her body’s sensitivity increased drastically, becoming stronger, energized, and wild.
The unfamiliar and vast magical power soaked into every delicate inch of her skin like warm water, slowly melting into her limbs, surging through her internal organs, bringing a warm and comforting sensation.
However, this was not the end. The magic spread into the edges of her soul for the first time, causing incredibly strange chemical reactions, like a chain reaction nuclear explosion, endlessly spreading, with shining brilliance rippling out.
––Boom, boom, boom.
The curse of the Sea of Truth brought pain every moment for 17 years, only with blessings could one live a normal life.
Somehow, in the few breaths stolen by Chu Yuanqing’s first kiss, the magical mechanism and chemical reaction in her soul reduced the unbearable pain of the curse by 50%.
The complete reduction of 50% of the pain was like a journey from hell to heaven for Chu Yuanqing, who had been in endless torment, she felt a newfound ease and happiness in just a few breaths.
In an instant, the intense pleasure and happiness almost overwhelmed Chu Yuanqing like a storm, almost shattering her indomitable willpower.
Despite her resilience and lack of fear of death, after enduring 17 years of torment, suddenly getting a chance to catch her breath, Chu Yuanqing couldn’t help but relax and lose herself.
Chu Yuanqing’s thoughts came to a halt, her clear golden eyes misted over, she instinctively licked her lips, savoring the lingering taste, allowing the magical mechanism deep in her soul to take an extra breath, showing a satisfied and dreamy expression.
However, her rationality returned almost instantly.
Chu Yuanqing’s pupils trembled, a sense of shame roaring like a tsunami, spreading throughout her body, she felt so hot, how could she actually look like she was enjoying being tricked out of her first kiss by Liuli Cat?
No, no, no, isn’t this already crossing the line into a crime?!
Chu Yuanqing didn’t feel like she lost out or was taken advantage of, she just felt guilty, uneasy, and troubled in her conscience.
In her mind, the whole situation made sense like this.
-1. She caused Tang Liuli to suffer from PTSD, almost having a mental breakdown, becoming fragile and sensitive, making the other person see her as a source of support.
-2. Because of this, Tang Liuli let her guard down, opening up a place filled with nostalgic memories from their childhood, but Chu Yuanqing didn’t handle the situation well, causing the already unloved person to transfer most of their emotions towards her.
-3. The other person’s emotions got out of control, leading to the prank.
Chu Yuanqing had been a magical girl for such a short time, less than a month even, her mindset hadn’t fully adapted, feeling ashamed and wondering if she took advantage of the situation.
Without the extra boosts she gave her, the usually timid and socially anxious Little Liuli wouldn’t have had the courage to do such a thing!
But scarier than this was the very abstract magic replenishing mechanism.
They only shared a kiss, not even touching tongues, so how did it release so much magic, and how did they shield themselves from half of the curse’s pain?
Chu Yuanqing felt embarrassed and confused, thinking that she might not be able to solve this world-class puzzle without extraordinary wisdom.
As the girl pondered more, she felt like giving up. Her usually serious and cold little face began to blush, her fair skin turning a coral pink. The divine golden eyes shimmered, reminiscent of the fallen Jesus, giving a contrast of divine and earthly impurities.
At this moment, she looked like a silly girl, continuously patting her cheeks with her hands. She appeared soft and dizzy, looking cute and easy to be taken advantage of.
Tang Liuli watched this scene, her fingertips on her lips slipping away. The mist in her eyes grew thicker, and she felt something was not right with her. Perhaps, since the flashback of her mother’s suicide flashed through her mind, she seemed to have a touch of madness.
Whether it’s the unusual brain circuits that strike with a single blow, or the bold thoughts that follow desires, or even connecting all these to an astonishing execution that defies social anxiety.
These transformations were undoubtedly due to the mental split personality boost that Tang Liuli’s mother sent before her death, which she had always suppressed until Chu Yuanqing opened this Pandora’s box.
On the other hand, the current Tang Liuli was empathizing with her talents, gulping down Yuanqing brand fine wine, making her lose her mind as her rationality evaporated and desires amplified.
To put it more directly,
That is…
This child is behaving very badly.
In this situation, Chu Yuanqing’s attractiveness keeps increasing, especially with her cute actions, causing a tingling sensation down the spine, becoming the final push towards darkness.
If we say that impulsive actions made up 40%, liking made up 50%, and desire made up 10% in that spur-of-the-moment prank.
Now, desire completely takes over, even breaking open the gift of implanted desires by the mother’s soul, containing possessiveness, control, destruction, and even the most sickening and terrifying pursuit of art and madness.
Coincidentally, Chu Yuanqing meets all requirements, she doesn’t need any extra embellishments, she is already Tang Liuli’s highest muse in her heart, the perfect art, the most revered deity.
So, to possess her, control her, enjoy her, destroy her…
Tang Liuli’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, she felt nauseous and sick, even wanting to vomit, as if someone inside her was resisting disgust, saying it shouldn’t be like this.
But in a trance, memories flashed back, a burning castle at dusk, like an inverted crucifix hanging upside down with blood rushing to the head, the mother dead from burst blood vessels, smiling towards this direction.
Emotions not belonging to her swirled wildly, drowning out and consuming the true voice deep within her heart.
The girl’s green eyes lost focus, her furrowed brow smoothed out, and she put on a cute and innocent smile like a mechanical doll, giving off a strange feeling of wearing a mask. She asked, tilting her head:
"Little Qing, do you like being kissed?"
Just as Chu Yuanqing was about to argue that she didn’t, Tang Liuli took off her light shawl, leaving Chu Yuanqing speechless.
The child went upstairs to take a bath in the bathroom, where the significance of the shawl was no different from pajamas. After taking it off, only a revealing pure white lace undergarment remained.
This active idol trainee, bathed in the daylight outside the window, had fair and healthy skin, exquisite youthful curves like a beautiful Greek sculpture, and pure and clear green eyes. She exuded an indescribable beauty as a whole.
Tang Liuli stood tall with her back straight, radiating the charm that belonged to her body freely, different from her usual social anxiety. Her attitude was exceptionally candid, as if she was alone in the room feeling hot and deciding to take off her clothes to take a bath.
Everything seemed completely normal.
Chu Yuanqing’s eyes were puzzled, starting to doubt if all girls interacted in this way due to Tang Liuli’s natural behavior.
And this hesitation broke when Tang Liuli hooked her fingers on the hem of her dress.
No, it will be a big problem if we don’t take action soon.
Chu Yuanqing quickly grabbed the person’s wrist and turned away to avoid seeing any criminal scenes. She said in a calm voice:
"Liuli, are you feeling hot? If the air conditioning in the room is broken, we can go downstairs for a while without taking off our clothes."
Tang Liuli turned her head and found herself holding Chu Yuanqing’s hand that was reaching out. She pulled her closer and fell onto the soft bed.
The girl’s body bounced with the mattress, her long legs swinging as she looked at Chu Yuanqing lying on top of her. With innocent eyes, she said:
"I’m not hot, I just want to learn something better with Little Qing than before."
"Little Qing doesn’t want me to continue, does he like wearing dresses?"
Chu Yuanqing was greatly surprised, wondering what it meant to like wearing dresses.
No, this child is becoming more and more strange.
Chu Yuanqing is used to blaming herself.
Well, this time her blame was quite justified.
If it weren’t for her goddess-like beauty and the personality charm of spreading many virtues, Tang Liuli, no matter how abnormal she was, her previous pranks were at the limit and would not have collapsed to this extent.
Chu Yuanqing did not mean to indulge, not to mention she did not want to commit a crime and did not have any bias towards Tang Liuli. According to the current situation, even if she satisfied the other party, her personality would only deteriorate further.
She said seriously:
"Liuli, we are trainees, we have strict rules and obligations to follow."
Tang Liuli thought for a moment and replied:
"But in the rules of the program group and the definition of fans, even if we debut as a group in the future, there is no rule against being like this with teammates. It’s more like everyone enjoys seeing the lily transaction, it’s completely welcomed within the team."
Being like this with teammates? Enjoying seeing the lily transaction? Fans accepting team interaction?
What a mess of things! Has the internet become so strange these days?
Chu Yuanqing was shocked and at a loss for words for a moment, not knowing how to argue against these twisted ideas. She decided to get serious and simply use physical means to knock this child back to their fearful state of monsters in the closet.
Unfortunately,
Tang Liuli acted more decisively, taking the first step by grabbing Chu Yuanqing’s slender waist, flipping her over and pinning her down.
Chu Yuanqing felt a little panicked. She just realized that after her recent outburst, she was now physically weak and powerless. It would be a miracle if she could knock the other person awake physically without getting beaten up while pinned to the bed.
Oh no, is she going to commit a crime passively today?
Tang Liuli’s expression was vacant as she looked at that flawless face. The budding palpitations in her heart suddenly turned into throbbing pain.
The girl once again heard the voice in her heart, feeling strong disdain, hatred, and disgust towards herself, all rushing to her mind. She seemed to be pleading, yelling, crying in pain, telling herself not to become like that mad person, not to become like her mother.
Chu Yuanqing’s flawless white hair gradually spread on the bed like ink. Her clear golden pupils were so sacred, clean and tempting to dirty them. Her cherry blossom-like soft and tender lips were refreshing and fragrant to kiss, like sipping fine white tea.
What a beautiful scene!
If she continues to explore and removes unnecessary obstacles, her inner beauty, which is more pure, will definitely bring a better experience than before.
But strangely, now the confusing, controlled by her mother, desires, dark emotions, puppet-like "Tang Liuli" understood something.
That is, as long as she continues, the clear-headed version of herself will choose suicide.
The real Tang Liuli is foolish yet timid, stubborn yet kind.
The person she dislikes the most is not her mother, but the possibility of becoming her mother.
What she fears the most is not her mother’s suicide, but the possibility of hurting others like her mother did.
The reason Tang Liuli insists on living is to prove she won’t become like that.
So once she reaches that breaking point, there is no meaning for her to keep on living.
Death will be the only end.
But… what does it matter?
What controls Tang Liuli now is the deep desire for self-destruction buried within her.
Chu Yuanqing keenly sensed something amiss, she pushed aside the possibility of getting beaten up and couldn’t help but worry:
"Liuli, wait, listen to me."
"Tang Liuli" remained silent, only giving a vacant smile, as if anticipating embracing death, she floated down like a feather, leaning forward…
…
…
At the same time, at an antique record store in Zhelong Town, nostalgic old songs lingered at the entrance, playing a mix of serene melodies, soft tunes, powerful heavy metal, and dramatic opera that stirred the soul.
"Mama, just killed a man"
"Put a gun against his head"
"Pulled my trigger now he’s dead"
"Mama, life had just begun"
"But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away"
Chu Wang Shu stopped in front of this record store, as if drawn by the music, and seemed to be pondering something. She glanced at the balance on her We Chat on her phone, confirmed her budget, hesitated, and murmured to herself:
"I remember there’s a record player at home, Dad… He must like these things, right?"
Upon careful thought, she realized that over the years, she had never known Chu Yuanying’s preferences.
Since she could remember, Chu Yuanying had never had a life of his own.
He worked hard to support her, quitting jobs or being laid off just to take care of her. He hardly had any time to rest, and even his rare moments of leisure were bittersweet.
Except for necessary social events, her Dad never smelled of smoke or alcohol. He was disciplined, quiet, and strong, always standing tall even as the years took away his gentleness and made him numb or even cold. Yet, he never brought negative emotions home.
Chu Wang Shu pursed her lips and tugged on her skirt.
Because she had a meeting in an hour, she went back to her base to change into more formal attire.
Children of this age are always hoping to appear more mature in front of their parents.
Especially for the sensible children in single-parent families, this is even more so.
Chu Wang Shu recalls the past, feeling some regret as she realizes she should have been more understanding towards her father. She witnessed him transforming from a handsome and youthful man into a lifeless figure over the years.
Even if her father has many flaws in recent years, she still needs to communicate with him patiently.
Oh, I wonder if Dad has been working very hard lately?
Lost in thought, Chu Wang Shu entered a record store. The song playing on the record player reached its middle part, a mournful cry echoed, making her already low spirits even more melancholic.
——Bismillah.
This is a prayer from Islam, roughly translated as "In the name of Allah".
Chu Wang Shu gathered her courage and silently recited Bismillah in her heart, swearing in the name of Allah that she would not get upset with her father today, and she would not sulk either.
Five minutes later,
The girl confidently walked out with a gift bag. She chose "Nights in the garden of Spain," a piece of music combining piano and symphony orchestra, with a classic Impressionist style and a romantic touch.
She believed that by giving it to her dad and encouraging him to listen to more of this music, he would slowly discover the beauty in life.
Chu Wang Shu is a straight-A student. In her opinion, many people find life boring because they lack appreciation for aesthetics, thus, unable to uncover the beauty in life.
For instance, the color blue can be like the Kline blue from a foreign country or expressed as moon white from the ancient Daxia style.
For instance, the same beautiful scenery.
People with cultural literacy might think of sentences like, "The lotus leaves cut the same shade, the hibiscus flowers bloom on either side of the face."
Those without much culture may simply comment on how big the lotus leaves are and how pretty the hibiscus flowers look.
This kind of appreciation for details is the key to accumulating enthusiasm for life.
Chu Wang Shu felt that her dad really needed something.
Well, at least this way is better than him finding a stepmom!
That’s true.
When Chu Wang Shu followed the directions, carrying a gift bag, and arrived at the coffee shop with wind chimes by the door, she started to feel a bit nervous. She whispered to herself, not very confidently:
"Is it a bad idea to give this kind of gift as a meeting gift?"
"What if Dad says the record player at home is broken, should I buy a new one?"
Chu Wang Shu shook her head, pushed away that thought, walked into the coffee shop, sat at a seat bathed in sunlight by the floor-to-ceiling window, glanced at the menu a few times, then set it aside, and started waiting.
This shop was quite strange, with sophisticated decoration and carefully designed layout. There were only a few seats to choose from, leaving a large area of visually pleasing space.
At the far end of the bar, there was a meticulously groomed elderly foreign man with silver hair in his fifties or sixties, silently wiping silver cups, standing tall like a wealthy butler, giving the shop a mysterious charm.
Suddenly, there was a loud, shaking noise from upstairs like the bed trembling, making her furrow her brow in irritation for no apparent reason.
Is this coffee shop that dad promised us to visit a bit strange?
Chu Wang Shu glanced at her watch and realized it had been over 5 minutes past the agreed time.
The little girl took a deep breath, feeling a bit strange. Was it the heat of summer? Or was the cafe’s air conditioning too cold? Even though it was just about an hour’s appointment, being 65 minutes late didn’t count as being late.
But still, she felt upset for no reason.
Chu Wang Shu calmed herself, smiled, took another deep breath, and said:
"Don’t be angry, don’t be angry."
Yes, by God, no, by the name of the Three Clear Gods, she absolutely would not get angry today!
…
…
On the other side, upstairs bedroom.
After saying that sentence, Chu Yuanqing started coughing violently.
Her eyebrows furrowed, but it seemed like she couldn’t cough up much blood. Her porcelain-like skin appeared pale and sickly, as if she would vanish into thin air at any moment, shattered like a broken shell, lost in the crowd.
Upon witnessing this scene, Tang Liuli’s thoughts froze for a moment. A slight hint of reason revived amidst the strong emotions, transforming doubts into heavy doubts, gradually breaking free from the bonds and curses of "motherly love".
What am I doing?
Didn’t I notice her coughing up blood?
The bathroom floor covered in fresh blood from her coughing – how painful must that be?
Chu Yuanqing has always been so kind to me, no one in the world could be kinder.
Without any conditions, only out of pity, kindness, and gentleness, the compassionate love that no one would be willing to bestow upon themselves.
But I only cared about myself, like my mom, like my dad, we are all selfish, despicable, disgusting, tainted with madness, things that shouldn’t go on living.
The girl’s eyes filled with bright red, a strong sense of regret, sadness, despair, self-loathing, self-destruction, and even anger that swallowed everything, turning into burning flames of fury, she forcefully pushed open the doors of the Heart Flow with her emotions.
This moment, after six years.
No, after seventeen years.
Since birth, Tang Liuli entered the realm of Heart Flow for the first time with her own emotions, her emerald eyes stirring a spiral vortex, a mysterious spiritual stance, enabling her to finally reach her mom’s "gift".
In the next breath, all the chaotic control, hints, and influence were all gone in an instant.
Tang Liuli was finally free, she had never been this free before.
From a life controlled every moment before 11 years old, to the tormenting six years bound by the gift from her dying mom after turning 11, she had never truly lived for herself during that time.
The irony is,
When she was finally free, able to live for herself, she only wanted to…hurry to embrace death.