Chapter 59

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Chapter 59: If You Want Me, Come and Get Me Yourself

Just as a certain player was dreaming big about dropping levels,

Kirimi Miyuki stood still in the hallway outside the Grade C Practice Room, as if trapped in a nightmare that she couldn’t escape from.

The innocent eyes of the girl looked down, but the emptiness in her gaze revealed a disturbing obsession. The heartfelt words she spoke not long ago echoed in her ears incessantly.

At that moment, she even thought about eliminating her opponent to make Chu Yuanqing’s surroundings clean, a cruel idea filled with unreasonable emotions like aggression, jealousy, possessiveness, and arrogance.

But… No, it’s wrong, it shouldn’t be like this.

She had no friends and didn’t understand how to communicate with them.

Yet, she realized that feeling possessive towards Chu Yuanqing after only a week of knowing her was very wrong. The idea of driving her away and isolating herself was extremely cruel, even bordering on ugliness.

Kirimi Miyuki wanted to become more like an idol’s idol than any other idol.

This is the black will that has been tempered by seven years of bitterness, despair, unwillingness, longing, and passion.

In her belief, the shine she wants to show on stage should not be mixed with impurities like this, and should never be tainted with any emotion lacking beauty.

Friendship is a precious treasure.

Jealousy is a devouring snake.

Chu Yuanqing is like a gem surrounded and protected by a group of snakes. If one tries to touch her, the snakes will bite, leaving behind the poison of greed and jealousy, making oneself impure.

— Either stay away.

— Or take control.

Kirimi Miyuki is a paranoid person.

Or rather, being able to uphold the persistence and pride belonging to an idol in such an environment, overcoming all obstacles to come this far, without the source of paranoia as a backbone, is impossible.

The girl’s definition of idol was so strict that it almost seemed like she had a cleanliness obsession. She even created the Perfect Interpretation Method to enter the Heart Flow, showing how obsessive she was.

So, after becoming fully aware of the "dirtiness" in her heart, she started doubting herself like a reaction to stress. She wandered around for an hour, tangled in thoughts about her future.

If she stayed away, she would be all alone without friends.

If she got close or even possessed something, she would gradually become unlike herself and end up hurting Chu Yuanqing.

This seemingly ridiculous loop of thinking, which outsiders found funny, was a true prison for Kirimi Miyuki, who lived by this idea. She couldn’t find a way out, no matter how much she thought about it.

Until…

"Sister Miyuki?"

"Are you also here to find Qing Qing?"

Chu Wang Shu said, looking puzzled at Little Sakura in front of her, feeling wary inside.

She had just finished training and taking a bath, feeling tired but quietly went to the Grade C Practice Room to seek comfort and love from someone.

She hadn’t even entered the room when she encountered a great enemy!

Kirimi Miyuki paused for a moment, then looked at Chu Wang Shu and asked in confusion.

"Little Shu, do you think idols should feel possessive of their friends?"

"I feel like I’m not quite myself anymore."

After being suddenly asked this question, Chu Wang Shu noticed the innocent Little Sakura looking a bit lost.

The girl was deeply shocked, imagining many different scenarios in her mind, feeling pity for the poor sakura girl from a distant land who was taken advantage of by the cunning Daxia lesbian, then abandoned.

Although Miyuki always competes with me for Qing Qing, she is a good person. Who could have influenced her?

That’s unfair, it must be those bad women who enjoy shipping CP and sucking blood!

Chu Wang Shu was very angry, and because she couldn’t see the connection with Chu Yuanqing, she answered seriously:

"Of course, idols are also human, and humans can feel possessive. It’s very normal!"

"My dad once said, possessiveness is about wanting to be the only one in someone’s heart, it shows a lack of security."

"Everyone is afraid of being lonely and being left alone."

"Being left alone leads to loneliness."

"Loneliness causes uneasiness."

"Feeling uneasy makes you possessive of a certain person."

Chu Wang Shu skillfully shared some comforting words, getting more and more enthusiastic. She seemed to understand Chu Yuanqing’s happiness and continued vigorously:

"But if you remove the ‘only’ label, make more friends, your uneasiness will fade away. As long as no one is your only one, you won’t be obsessed!"

"How about that? Does it make sense?"

Kirimi Miyuki suddenly understood:

"So that’s how it is."

There was actually a third way!

By making more friends and calming their inner worries, the feeling of possessiveness would fade away. Even if not staying far from Little Qing, there wouldn’t be any strange feelings towards her!

In other words, controlling and diverting the desire to possess others is a form of practice just like managing emotions.

If one could achieve this perfectly, it might even help on stage.

Xiao Wangshu might turn out to be a genius unexpectedly!

Kirimi Miyuki’s confusion was temporarily cleared. She bowed sincerely, before Chu Wang Shu could object, she quickly added, "Little Qing has already returned to the dormitory," and headed towards the A-level practice room.

Tomorrow is the secondary rating!

Although she is confident in maintaining her current rating in her area of expertise, as an idol, she should not be careless on stage. She must make sure to fully memorize the dance routine in a limited amount of time to give the best performance.

Chu Wang Shu couldn’t act as a loving thief, and was swept away by Top A’s Little Sakura, feeling particularly sad.

The more she thought about it, the more anxious she became. After much contemplation, she felt that she couldn’t even lose to the other side in terms of effort. With a firm pace, she walked towards her practice room.

——The Grade B practice room also has private bedrooms and bathrooms. Today, she decided not to return to the dormitory!

Meanwhile, similar incidents were happening in many other places.

Especially in the large practice rooms of Grade D and Grade F.

It’s important to note that Grade D has 41 members, and Grade F has a staggering 48 members.

Although usually, most people in there, thanks to Dream Weaver Rabbit’s persuasion, managed to get access to the A-level practice room and didn’t have to squeeze into the public practice rooms.

But this situation changed greatly after something was exposed.

That is, an assistant randomly chose a time to conduct three surprise visits to Grade C, Grade D, and Grade F, filmed material, and interviewed the participants present according to the program group arrangement.

The trainees realized that even though the show did not give the lower-rated participants the permission for free live streaming and exposure, it did not mean that there would be no other ways to capture them on camera.

Compared to live footage that may not always be captured instantly, the material and interviews from surprise visits have a high chance of being edited into the show, with their value being completely different concepts.

As long as there are a few memorable shots in the show, even if the second assessment does not achieve good results, they can still remain for a few more rounds, attracting more attention and fame.

It can only be said that the Dream Weaver Rabbit is very clever.

It first morally pressured the Top A participant, then tricked the rest of the participants who chose to take the easy route, and rewarded the most hardworking one in the original practice room, maintaining a delicate balance of rewards and punishments.

Many viewers who watched the first episode of the show had to criticize the high quality of the super AI.

And it is the same now.

Even though the first episode had already aired on TV, the trainees in their closed-off environment could only guess about the news.

The lack of information made many Grade D and Grade F contestants feel lucky and they chose to work hard in their practice rooms, hoping to get a chance to be on camera like the lucky ones before.

So, these people were secretly competing with each other. They were not only training hard, but also enduring each other’s pressure, unwilling to stop even until dawn.

On the other hand, the pressure on the Top A contestants was even greater.

Not to mention the intentional drama in the show, judging by the facts, if a Grade A contestant can be eliminated easily, it might be seen as just good stage design for the initial ranking, showing lack of effort and relying too much on luck.

If they lose their label as a strong contestant, they won’t have a chance for a comeback in the future. At most, they could try to redeem themselves through future performances and challenges.

Even if they succeed, they would never be as inspiring as the contestants who jumped from Grade F to Grade B or Grade A.

This indirectly limited their emotional range, causing them to lose hope and excitement to continue watching.

That’s why there are hardly any Top A contestants who decide to stop training.

Xie Qingxuan is exceptional.

The person who is highly focused by others is quietly meditating.

The virtual reality system simulated a bamboo courtyard standing in the middle of a lake.

The sky is azure, with gentle white clouds.

A strong wind passes by, causing bamboo leaves to rustle and whisper, blending with the rippling water to create a serene and tranquil atmosphere.

In the "Meditation Procedure," a line reads, "When desiring to meditate, in a quiet place, lay a thick sitting cushion, loosen your clothes, ensure a dignified demeanor, then assume the sitting position with crossed legs."

A young girl sits in the center of the bamboo courtyard, surrounded by ancient ink wash paintings or calligraphy scrolls, dressed in a loose white garment that blends harmoniously with the surroundings. Her eyes softly closed, breathing naturally, as if in tune with the rhythm of nature.

This setting and demeanor perfectly align with the requirements of meditation.

And precisely because of this,

Even though her features combined with European features, her platinum hair shimmered and sparkled in the light, she appeared alongside the antique style of Daxia without any sense of discord.

– Meditation.

This form of meditation comes from ancient times.

Xie Qingxuan’s teachings come from an artist within Daxia.

For the old man, the purpose of meditation is simply to cultivate oneself, focus the mind and spirit, and become more inspired when creating art.

But for her, it is a means to control, suppress, and restrain her emotions, even as a substitute for the "Heart Flow".

Xie Qingxuan is always serene and calm, even when conflicts at home reach their peak, she is like a flame burning quietly in a lake, containing her own temperature, waiting for the moment to erupt.

The young girl is talented in meditation, perhaps due to her pure temperament.

She progresses quickly, from meditating to sitting in meditation, from sitting in contemplation to constant contemplation, from having many distractions in a day to being in a mostly empty state throughout the day.

In the end, Xie Qingxuan gradually felt that a clear mind could sharpen her awareness and make her perception of everything clearer.

This state, although not as good as "Heart Flow," is even better than "Heart Flow."

Now, Xie Qingxuan no longer needs to practice dancing.

She is using meditation to clear her mind, letting herself fully immerse in preparation to perform the theme song "candy" with deep emotion in the secondary rating and performance, without disconnecting from herself.

…

…

The virtual reality system covered the stage.

The virtual light and shadows created by a super AI matching the user’s personal situation with global data are dancing along with Chen Yining’s movements.

The young girl’s raspberry-colored hair shines brightly in the light, her pure white skirt twirls lightly, and her beautifully made-up face matches the style of "candy," expressing the meaning of the song in the rhythm of the music.

The young lady from Yunlan Entertainment showcased her sharpness and talent on stage, making others think she wouldn’t match well with this theme song.

But now, it’s proven that she can completely change her style and put her heart into this sweet dance. She paid attention to every detail and delivered a wonderful performance on stage, deserving the top A rating.

After a while, the music ended.

Chen Yining’s smile slowly faded from her face, leaving her feeling a bit empty. Her emotions turned a bit gloomy and restless as she looked at the data on the screen.

[Dance duration: 3 minutes and 31 seconds]

[Dance completion rate: 98.9%]

[Dance infectiousness: Grade A]

[Dance expressiveness: Grade A]

[Singing and dancing rating: Grade A]

Besides, a series of data emerged, combined with numerous straight-shot images, and even video clips, matched perfectly with flawless AI figures, presenting all the scores from the previous stage in a dazzling and detailed manner.

Chen Yining snapped her fingers, causing all the screen projections in the venue, including the virtual reality-created false stage, to shatter into flowing lights, leaving behind a bright and empty dance room.

The young girl stood still, feeling lost and not happy with the previous stage.

In other words, the more excellent the previous stage was, the more emotions and concentration put into it, the more severe the sense of failure generated.

Because…

Even so, she still could not reach the realm of "Heart Flow".

Over the past decade, as the heiress of Yunlan Entertainment, she had forsaken the brighter path of actors and singers, always aiming for the stage and idol, all because of the promise made with Ji Shuzhu in her childhood.

To become world-class idols together, to present a dazzling stage that even if remembered by hypermnesia, will never be boring in a lifetime.

And to achieve this dream, "Heart Flow" is the necessary pass.

Years later, Ji Shuzhu, with her exceptional talent in choreography due to her supermemory syndrome, had surpassed her peers worldwide. Even the dance mentor, Chen Baijiu, on the show treated her as an equal when they spoke.

In comparison, Chen Yining was not like Ji Shuzhu, nor was she like Xie Qingxuan.

She didn’t have any innate superior talent. In fact, her talents were quite average in all aspects, reaching excellence in each one but without any standout skills.

Despite years of hard work, receiving the best education and opportunities, she only won a few domestic dance awards and had a modest reputation.

Although there were reasons she hadn’t debuted yet due to focusing on building a strong foundation, the feeling of falling short was inevitable.

Chen Yining needed to prove herself, to prove that she was worthy of fulfilling their agreement.

Ji Shuzhu stayed silent. Whether she had single eyelids or phoenix eyes, she looked formidable and gave off a fierce aura when she cast her gaze.

Mostly due to the debuff from supermemory syndrome, this slender and beautiful girl always had a cold expression, filled with a sickly and cynical beauty.

Only Chen Yining knew that the old Ji Shuzhu used to smile.

She was not as slim back then, her face was a bit chubby, but still cool-looking from the side. When she laughed, she looked both cool and cute at the same time, giving off a sweet and contrasting vibe.

However…

Ji Shuzhu’s special condition of hypermnesia carried memories and emotions that would occasionally overwhelm her as she grew older, shattering her emotions and sense of self.

Over time, she became even more melancholic.

Since the accident at the music festival, she had stopped smiling altogether.

Therefore, their childhood agreement began to change at that moment.

For Chen Yining, this agreement was mixed with a sense of redemption for helping her childhood friend.

For Ji Shuzhu, this agreement became more of a burden, forcing her to stay true to it.

Ji Shuzhu approached and handed over a towel, praising softly:

"Little Ning, the stage performance just now was great."

Chen Yining’s anxiety melted away as she smiled brightly, pushing her worries deep down inside.

Yes, haste makes waste.

The more eager you are to reach the Heart Flow, the further away you get from it.

What am I afraid of? There’s not much pressure in the secondary rating. Even if I can’t win the Carry Center on stage, I can try to give it to the least competitive contestant.

Next up is the group performance.

According to the promotion of "Dazzling Stage", the early group performances are likely to be freely chosen or given priority to Grade A contestants.

Without a doubt, she would choose Ji Shuzhu.

By doing so, Chen Yining would lead the stage as the main performer, while Ji Shuzhu would add creativity to the choreography. With their understanding and abilities, they can surely win together in the end.

With this attitude in mind,

Chen Yining no longer forced her tired body and continued intense training. She chatted with Ji Shuzhu for a while, then turned and walked into the bathroom.

Ji Shuzhu watched the young lady walk away, her eyes downcast, with a hint of darkness in her pupils.

Her slender hand gripped the fabric in front of her chest tightly, feeling the restlessness and pain in her heart growing unbearable.

If the dancers in the theme song music video were bland and plastic.

Chen Yining poured her emotions and self into the performance of "Candy," creating a dessert of bitterness and caramel mixed together.

But it was still not enough, far from enough.

The void required something more rich, dazzling, and immense happiness than this level could satisfy.

Ji Shuzhu’s expression was cold, with calm eyes.

She took a final look at the bathroom, put on her hood, turned around and whispered to herself:

"Little Ning, since joining ‘Dazzling Stage’, I have decided not to wait for you anymore."

"I will give you one chance."

"If you really want me, then… come and fight for me yourself."