Chapter 59
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This chapter is edited by Geofem. Thank you for your contribution!
Chapter 59: If You Want Me, Come and Get Me Yourself
Just as a certain player was dreaming big about dropping levels,
Kirimi Miyuki stood motionless in the hallway outside the Grade C Practice Room, as if stuck in a nightmare she couldn’t leave.
The girl’s innocent eyes stared down, yet the emptiness in her expression showed a disturbing obsession. Her genuine comments from not long ago rang in her ears endlessly.
At that point, she considered eliminating her opponent in order to clean up Chu Yuanqing’s surroundings, a harsh thinking fueled by inappropriate emotions like hostility, jealousy, possessiveness, and arrogance.
But… No, it’s wrong; it shouldn’t be like this.
She had no friends and didn’t understand how to communicate with them.
Nonetheless, she knew that feeling possessive towards Chu Yuanqing after only a week of knowing her was completely inappropriate. The concept of forcing her away and isolating herself was beyond harsh, verging on cruelty.
Kirimi Miyuki wanted to become more like an idol’s idol than any other idol.
This is the black will, tempered by seven years of anger, despair, refusal, longing, and passion.
In her opinion, the sparkle she wishes to convey on stage should not be contaminated with impurities like these, nor should it be soiled by any feeling lacking beauty.
Friendship is a precious treasure.
Jealousy is a devouring snake.
Chu Yuanqing is like a gem surrounded and protected by a group of snakes. If one tries to touch her, the snakes will bite, leaving behind the poison of greed and jealousy, making oneself impure.
— Either stay away.
— Or take control.
Kirimi Miyuki is a paranoid person.
Or, more accurately, it is hard to maintain an idol’s persistence and pride in such an atmosphere, overcoming all challenges to get this far without the source of paranoia serving as a backbone.
The girl’s definition of idol was so strict that it almost seemed like she had a cleanliness obsession. She even created the Perfect Interpretation Method to enter the Heart Flow, showing how obsessive she was.
So, after becoming fully aware of the “dirtiness” in her heart, she started doubting herself like a reaction to stress. She wandered around for an hour, tangled in thoughts about her future.
If she stayed away, she would be all alone without friends.
If she got close or even possessed something, she would gradually become unlike herself and end up hurting Chu Yuanqing.
Outsiders found this obviously absurd way of thinking amusing, but for Kirimi Miyuki, who lived by it, it was a real prison. No matter how much she considered her options, she was unable to find a way out.
Until…
“Sister Miyuki?”
“Are you also here to find Qing Qing?”
Chu Wang Shu said, looking puzzled at Little Sakura in front of her, feeling wary inside.
She had just finished exercising and taken a bath, so she went quietly to the Grade C Practice Room to seek comfort and love from someone.
She hadn’t even entered the room when she encountered a great enemy!
Kirimi Miyuki paused for a moment, then looked at Chu Wang Shu and asked in confusion.
“Little Shu, do you think idols should feel possessive of their friends?”
“I feel like I’m not quite myself anymore.”
After being suddenly asked this question, Chu Wang Shu noticed the innocent Little Sakura looking a bit lost.
The girl was deeply shocked, imagining many different scenarios in her mind, feeling pity for the poor sakura girl from a distant land who was taken advantage of by the cunning Daxia lesbian, then abandoned.
Miyuki is a good person, even though she is always competing with me for Qing Qing. Who might have influenced her?
That’s unfair; it must be those bad women who enjoy shipping CP and sucking blood!
Chu Wang Shu was very angry, and because she couldn’t see the connection with Chu Yuanqing, she answered seriously:
“Of course, idols are also human, and humans can feel possessive. It’s very normal!”
“My dad once said, Possessiveness is about wanting to be the only one in someone’s heart; it shows a lack of security.”
“Everyone is afraid of being lonely and being left alone.”
“Being left alone leads to loneliness.”
“Loneliness causes uneasiness.”
“Feeling uneasy makes you possessive of a certain person.”
Chu Wang Shu effectively gave some reassuring words, gradually becoming more excited. She appeared to grasp Chu Yuanqing’s happiness and proceeded vigorously:
“But if you remove the ‘lonely’ label and make more friends, your uneasiness will fade away. As long as no one is your only one, you won’t be obsessed!”
“How about that? Does it make sense?”
Kirimi Miyuki suddenly understood:
“So that’s how it is.”
There was actually a third way!
Possessiveness would be alleviated by making more friends and easing their inner fears. Even if I didn’t keep far away from Little Qing, I would have no weird feelings for her!
In other words, controlling and diverting the impulse to possess people is a type of discipline, similar to managing emotions.
If one could achieve this perfectly, it might even help on stage.
Xiao Wangshu might turn out to be a genius unexpectedly!
Kirimi Miyuki’s confusion was temporarily cleared. She bowed sincerely; before Chu Wang Shu could object, she quickly added, “Little Qing has already returned to the dormitory,” and headed towards the A-level practice room.
Tomorrow is the secondary rating!
Although she is confident in her ability to preserve her current status as an idol, she should exercise caution onstage. To provide her finest performance, she must completely memorize the dance routine in a short period of time.
Chu Wang Shu couldn’t act as a loving thief and was swept away by Top A’s Little Sakura, feeling particularly sad.
The more she thought about it, the more anxious she felt. After much thought, she concluded that she could not lose to the opposing side in terms of effort. She moved steadily towards her practice room.
The Grade B practice room also has private bedrooms and bathrooms. Today, she decided not to return to the dormitory!
Meanwhile, similar incidents were happening in many other places.
Especially in the large practice rooms of Grade D and Grade F.
It’s important to note that Grade D has 41 members, and Grade F has a staggering 48 members.
Although usually, most people in there, thanks to Dream Weaver Rabbit’s persuasion, managed to get access to the A-level practice room and didn’t have to squeeze into the public practice rooms.
But this situation changed greatly after something was exposed.
That is, an assistant randomly chose a time to conduct three surprise visits to Grade C, Grade D, and Grade F, filmed material, and interviewed the participants present according to the program group arrangement.
The trainees discovered that just because the show did not allow the lower-rated participants free live streaming and exposure did not imply there were no other ways to capture them on camera.
Compared to live footage that may not always be captured instantly, the material and interviews from surprise visits have a high chance of being edited into the show, with their value being completely different concepts.
As long as there are a few memorable shots in the show, even if the second assessment does not achieve good results, they can still remain for a few more rounds, attracting more attention and fame.
It can only be said that the Dream Weaver Rabbit is very clever.
It initially morally pressed the Top A participant, then duped the rest of the participants into taking the easy road, and finally rewarded the most hardworking one in the original practice room, achieving a delicate balance of rewards and punishments.
Many viewers who watched the first episode of the show had to criticize the high quality of the super AI.
And it is the same now.
Even though the first episode had already aired on TV, the trainees in their closed-off environment could only guess about the news.
The lack of information made many Grade D and Grade F contestants feel lucky, and they chose to work hard in their practice rooms, hoping to get a chance to be on camera like the lucky ones before.
So these people were covertly competing against one another. They were not only practicing hard but also dealing with each other’s pressure, refusing to stop till daybreak.
On the other hand, the pressure on the Top A contestants was even greater.
Not to mention the intentional drama in the show, judging by the facts, if a Grade A contestant can be eliminated easily, it might be seen as just good stage design for the initial ranking, showing a lack of effort and relying too much on luck.
If they lose their reputation as a strong contestant, they will have no opportunity of making a comeback in the future. At most, they could try to make amends through future performances and challenges.
Even if they succeed, they would never be as inspiring as the contestants who jumped from Grade F to Grade B or Grade A.
This indirectly limited their emotional range, causing them to lose hope and excitement to continue watching.
That’s why there are hardly any Top A contestants who decide to stop training.
Xie Qingxuan is exceptional.
The person who is highly focused by others is quietly meditating.
The virtual reality system simulated a bamboo courtyard standing in the middle of a lake.
The sky is azure, with gentle white clouds.
A strong wind blows through, causing bamboo leaves to rustle and whisper, combining with the rippling water to create a peaceful and relaxing ambiance.
In the “Meditation Procedure,” a line reads, “When desiring to meditate, in a quiet place, lay a thick sitting cushion, loosen your clothes, ensure a dignified demeanor, then assume the sitting position with crossed legs.”
A young girl sits in the midst of the bamboo courtyard, surrounded by ancient ink wash paintings or calligraphy scrolls, wearing a flowy white clothing that mixes in with the surroundings. Her eyes closed lightly, and she breathed smoothly, as if in sync with nature’s rhythm.
This setting and demeanor perfectly align with the requirements of meditation.
And precisely because of this,
Even though her features combined with European features, her platinum hair shimmered and sparkled in the light; she appeared alongside the antique style of Daxia without any sense of discord.
– Meditation.
This form of meditation comes from ancient times.
Xie Qingxuan’s teachings come from an artist within Daxia.
Meditation, according to the old man, is simply for self-cultivation, focusing the mind and spirit, and becoming more inspired when creating art.
But for her, it is a means to control, suppress, and restrain her emotions, even as a substitute for the “Heart Flow.”
Xie Qingxuan is usually tranquil and calm; even when problems at home reach boiling point, she is like a flame burning calmly in a lake, holding her own temperature and waiting for the right moment to erupt.
The young girl is talented in meditation, perhaps due to her pure temperament.
She moves swiftly from meditating to sitting in meditation, from sitting in contemplation to constant contemplation, from having numerous distractions in a day to being mostly empty all day.
In the end, Xie Qingxuan gradually felt that a clear mind could sharpen her awareness and make her perception of everything clearer.
This state, although not as good as “Heart Flow,” is even better than “Heart Flow.”
Now, Xie Qingxuan no longer needs to practice dancing.
In order to prepare to perform the theme song “Candy” with great emotion in the secondary rating and performance, she is employing meditation to clear her head and totally immerse herself without losing touch with herself.
…
…
The virtual reality system covered the stage.
The virtual light and shadows created by a super AI matching the user’s personal situation with global data are dancing along with Chen Yining’s movements.
The young girl’s raspberry-colored hair gleams in the sunlight, her pristine white skirt twirls gently, and her exquisitely applied makeup reflects the fashion of “candy,” communicating the song’s meaning in time with the music.
The young lady from Yunlan Entertainment showcased her sharpness and talent on stage, making others think she wouldn’t match well with this theme song.
But now, it’s proven that she can completely change her style and put her heart into this sweet dance. She paid attention to every detail and delivered a wonderful performance on stage, deserving the top A rating.
After a while, the music ended.
Chen Yining felt rather hollow as her smile gradually disappeared. Looking at the data on the screen made her feel a little depressed and agitated.
[Dance duration: 3 minutes and 31 seconds]
[Dance completion rate: 98.9%]
[Dance infectiousness: Grade A]
[Dance expressiveness: Grade A]
[Singing and dancing rating: Grade A]
Besides, a series of data emerged, combined with numerous straight-shot images and even video clips, matched perfectly with flawless AI figures, presenting all the scores from the previous stage in a dazzling and detailed manner.
Chen Yining snapped her fingers, causing all the screen projections in the venue, including the virtual reality-created false stage, to shatter into flowing lights, leaving behind a bright and empty dance room.
The young girl stood still, feeling lost and not happy with the previous stage.
In other words, the more excellent the previous stage was, the more emotions and concentration put into it, the more severe the sense of failure generated.
Because…
Even so, she still could not reach the realm of “Heart Flow.”
Over the past decade, as the heiress of Yunlan Entertainment, she had forsaken the brighter path of actors and singers, always aiming for the stage and idol, all because of the promise made with Ji Shuzhu in her childhood.
To become world-class idols together, to present a dazzling stage that, even if remembered by hypermnesia, will never be boring in a lifetime.
And to achieve this dream, “Heart Flow” is the necessary pass.
Years later, Ji Shuzhu, with her exceptional talent in choreography due to her supermemory syndrome, had surpassed her peers worldwide. Even the dance mentor, Chen Baijiu, on the show treated her as an equal when they spoke.
In comparison, Chen Yining was not like Ji Shuzhu, nor was she like Xie Qingxuan.
She didn’t have any innate superior talent. In fact, her talents were quite average in all aspects, reaching excellence in each one but without any standout skills.
Despite years of hard work, receiving the best education and opportunities, she only won a few domestic dance awards and had a modest reputation.
Although there were reasons she hadn’t debuted yet due to focusing on building a strong foundation, the feeling of falling short was inevitable.
Chen Yining needed to prove herself, to prove that she was worthy of fulfilling their agreement.
Ji Shuzhu stayed silent. Whether she had single eyelids or phoenix eyes, she looked formidable and gave off a fierce aura when she cast her gaze.
Mostly due to the debuff from supermemory syndrome, this slender and beautiful girl always had a cold expression, filled with a sickly and cynical beauty.
Only Chen Yining knew that the old Ji Shuzhu used to smile.
She wasn’t as slim back then; her face was a little chubby, but she still looked nice from the side. When she laughed, she appeared both cool and charming, exuding a sweet and contrasting atmosphere.
However…
Ji Shuzhu’s special condition of hypermnesia carried memories and emotions that would occasionally overwhelm her as she grew older, shattering her emotions and sense of self.
Over time, she became even more melancholic.
Since the accident at the music festival, she had stopped smiling altogether.
Therefore, their childhood agreement began to change at that moment.
For Chen Yining, this agreement was mixed with a sense of redemption for helping her childhood friend.
For Ji Shuzhu, this agreement became more of a burden, forcing her to stay true to it.
Ji Shuzhu approached and handed over a towel, praising softly:
“Little Ning, the stage performance just now was great.”
Chen Yining’s anxiousness subsided as she smiled brightly, shoving her anxieties deep inside.
Yes, haste makes waste.
The more eager you are to reach the Heart Flow, the further away you get from it.
What am I afraid of? There’s not much pressure in the secondary rating. Even if I can’t win the Carry Center on stage, I can try to give it to the least competitive contestant.
Next up is the group performance. According to the “Dazzling Stage” advertising, early group performances would most likely be freely picked or given priority to Grade A participants. Without a doubt, she would select Ji Shuzhu. Chen Yining would take the stage as the main performer, while Ji Shuzhu would inject originality into the choreography. With their understanding and ability, they will undoubtedly win together.
With this attitude in mind,
Chen Yining no longer pushed her fatigued body and maintained her rigorous workout. She spoke with Ji Shuzhu for a while before turning and walking into the washroom.
Ji Shuzhu watched the young lady go away, her eyes downcast and slightly darkened.
Her slender fingers clutched the fabric in front of her chest hard, the restlessness and sorrow in her heart becoming unbearable.
If the dancers in the theme song music video were bland and plastic.
Chen Yining threw her heart and soul into her rendition of “Candy,” resulting in a confection of bitterness and caramel.
But it was still not enough, far from enough.
The void required something more rich, dazzling, and immense happiness than this level could satisfy.
Ji Shuzhu’s expression was cold, with calm eyes.
She took a final look at the bathroom, put on her hood, turned around, and whispered to herself:
“Little Ning, since joining ‘Dazzling Stage,’ I have decided not to wait for you anymore.”
“I will give you one chance.”
“If you really want me, then… come and fight for me yourself.”
