Chapter 5
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Chapter 5 : I Must Become a Troublemaker (5)
Before her regression, Legina had two ways to meet the Emperor. One was to follow proper procedures, set a time, and gain the Emperor’s permission to visit the audience chamber. The other was to target mealtimes when the imperial family gathered. However, the busy Emperor always rejected Legina’s audience requests, and during imperial family meals, he paid her no attention. Furthermore, she was forbidden from speaking first without the Emperor’s question or permission, so Legina had never once experienced a conversation with the Emperor at the dinner table.
Yet here she was, smiling brightly and speaking, not a hint of trembling in her voice, in response to the Emperor’s question.
“Actually, I thought about throwing the table. It was big enough that I thought Theore could easily dodge it. But it turned out to be heavier than I expected. I thought Dacon wood was light and sturdy, but it seems I was mistaken.”
“…”
“I also briefly considered the teacup instead of the table, but wouldn’t you know it, the one used for tea time today happened to be my most cherished teacup. So, I threw a reasonably large and sturdy chair.”
“…Do you… know what you are saying right now?”
“Of course. I’m saying that I threw a chair at the First Imperial Prince of this Ellias Empire.”
Larousse A. Alpere gazed at his daughter, who was smiling brightly and speaking utter nonsense. He couldn’t believe this situation: the child who had always been quiet and meek, seemingly nonexistent, always watching him carefully, was now looking him straight in the eye and stating that she had thrown a chair at Theore. If it weren’t for her violet eyes, which only imperial family members possessed, he would have believed it was someone else with a similar face.
“…That is not an answer to my question of why you threw it.”
“You mean it’s been more than a day or two since Theore caused trouble, so why am I acting like this now?”
“…”
“If I say, ‘Because I don’t want to tolerate it anymore,’ will you then ask why I no longer want to tolerate it?”
Legina swallowed a hollow laugh as her father’s twitching lips set into a straight line. When she was younger, the man sitting before her, her father and the Emperor of this Ellias Empire, was so difficult to approach. But having died and returned to life, he wasn’t frightening so much as pitiful, and she felt a surge of irritation and anger.
Her mother’s death was not Legina’s fault. No, it was no one’s fault. The Empress was simply too weak to endure childbirth. Nevertheless, if one absolutely had to assign blame, it would be the Emperor’s fault for allowing her to conceive a child, knowing her delicate health.
So why do I have to be so careful and beg for forgiveness?
The Emperor hated and resented Legina until his dying moment. Recalling her father’s foolishness, clinging to his hatred for her until his last breath, even knowing it was a misplaced emotion, made her grind her teeth.
“I, on the contrary, wish to ask Your Majesty. Knowing that Theore is walking down the wrong path, why do you stand idly by?”
“He is a pitiful child.”
Larousse’s reply, checking on his young son, and Theore’s sudden rising from his seat happened almost simultaneously. And Theore, before his flustered father could even call his name, quickly ran off, noisily opening and closing the door as he vanished.
However, Legina continued speaking as if she hadn’t noticed Theore’s departure.
“Pitiful, you say… Because he lost his mother as soon as he was born? So you just leave him be? An Imperial Prince you’ve singled out as the next Emperor?”
“Legina! Do not discuss the direction of the throne so lightly!”
The next Emperor of the Ellias Empire had not been officially decided. But Legina already knew the Emperor’s intentions. She couldn’t not know. She had personally witnessed Theore, who hadn’t even had his coming-of-age ceremony, sit on the throne after the Emperor’s death, according to his will. And it was Legina who had to bear the terrifying weight of the regency in place of the still-underage Theore.
“But Your Majesty, aren’t you forgetting something?”
“What is that?”
“The fact that there aren’t one, but two pitiful children who lost their mother.”
The violet eyes fixed on Legina wavered. Gazing at the Emperor’s shaken expression, Legina cast aside the gentle smile she had been wearing until now. Larousse realized he was tense as he looked at his daughter’s suddenly cold face.
“Theore is ten years old this year. I am fifteen. So, how old was I on the day Theore was born and Mother died?”
Looking at the speechless Emperor, Legina began to unleash the words she couldn’t say to the deceased Emperor in her past life. “Instead of unleashing your guilt over not being by Mother’s side in her final moments on an innocent daughter, why didn’t you just break imperial law?”
“What…!”
“I mean, it would have been right to tear up that imperial law that held Your Majesty back, by the Emperor’s own name, and rush to see Mother.”
“Does imperial law seem easy to you?!”
“Easy or difficult, aren’t you the Emperor?!”
Larousse could no longer offer any reply to Legina’s outcry. It was because he himself knew his fault. It was Larousse himself who had burdened his daughter with a yoke that wasn’t hers, arbitrarily hated her, and even denied her rights as a daughter.
“If you can’t even do that, then why are you Emperor?”
“…You are disrespectful.”
“Yes, I am disrespectful. But it’s better than being incompetent.”
So this was the kind of child who could give such a look. Larousse suddenly realized that this was the first time he had truly met his daughter’s eyes and had a conversation with her. And the moment he realized that, a belated terror gripped him. He now understood that while he had embraced Theore, vowing never to lose someone he loved again after losing his wife, he had been losing his daughter.
This late realization came in the name of regret, and regret, in turn, brought fear that he might lose something precious again.
“In that sense, I refuse the throne. I have no interest in power that cannot overcome a single sentence written in black ink on a piece of paper.”
Legina, uncaring of what the Emperor felt, rose from her seat and smoothed her dress. Theore was still her beloved… high-maintenance brother, but her feelings toward the Emperor were different.
If he doesn’t treat me like a daughter, why should I treat him like a father?
How could she harbor such feelings when she had vowed not to lose her dignity? Nonsense. Another fundamental characteristic of a troublemaker is filial impiety. Theore hadn’t reached filial impiety yet, but there was no reason Legina, who had decided to become an even greater troublemaker than her brother, couldn’t. Furthermore, if she had decided to become a troublemaker and planned to stick to its fundamentals, would it really be a problem if she committed filial impiety first?
Ah, of course, she couldn’t disregard him as the Emperor, so she would treat him as such. She had never experienced it, but like a boss at work? Something like that? It would probably be similar.
Legina somehow looked down at the Emperor, who couldn’t meet her eyes. As usual, Legina was looking at him while the Emperor averted his gaze, but the atmosphere was different.
“From now on, I will live as I please. So please, don’t concern yourself with how I live my life from now on.”
“…”
“Indeed, since you don’t know how I’ve lived my life normally, you wouldn’t even be able to distinguish if I live as I please or not.”
“That is…”
“Please continue to not concern yourself with me. I will live my life as I see fit and disappear from Your Majesty’s presence when the time comes.”
This was another goal she had set after deciding to become a troublemaker. If she succeeded in preventing her brother from becoming a pushover and stopping the traitors’ rebellion, she would leave the capital. The principle was that an unmarried imperial family member could not leave the capital, but she had no intention of abiding by it. If they took issue with it, Legina was prepared to abandon her imperial name and disappear.
She had already used the secret passage leading outside once before her regression. Unlike before, Legina, who now had two years of experience surviving on battlefields, wouldn’t starve to death if she abandoned her imperial name.
“Don’t worry. I won’t stop taking care of Theore. Even without my mother’s dying wish, he is my only brother. I must see him become a proper Emperor.”
“Le-Legina…”
“The ones present here are the Emperor and the Princess, not a father and daughter. Would you please be mindful of your address?”
Just as Larousse had done when he announced young Legina’s engagement, Legina, too, answered indifferently, like the Emperor on that day, and turned around. Her business was done. Both she and the Emperor would likely be uncomfortable remaining alone in this situation, so it would be better for both of them if she left quickly.
Legina, moving swiftly, reached the study door and paused briefly. Did she have anything left to say? Larousse, who still hadn’t fully confronted his fear, swallowed dryly, his eyes fixed on his daughter’s back.
“Ah, I almost forgot this. Theore is changing his sword instructor again, isn’t he? I will join him then.”
“You wish to learn swordsmanship?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“…Do as you please.”
“I shall withdraw. May you have peace.”
The door opened quickly and closed slowly. The Emperor’s chief aide, who had been waiting outside the study to not disturb the family conversation, moved silently and stood behind the Emperor, who was seated in the place of honor.
“Your Majesty, was there something troubling you?”
“She didn’t look back.”
“Pardon?”
“That child, Legina… she didn’t look at my face until the very end.”
And his daughter had called him “Your Majesty” until the very end. Larousse let out a long sigh at Legina’s change, as she had consistently refused to give up the word “Father,” even when being scolded.
“It seems I’ve… lost something very precious again.”
Regret is called “regret” because it arrives late. Larousse could only let out another long sigh, dwelling on his belated regret.