Chapter 16
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As I waited for her to finish changing, I exhaled a puff of menthol-flavored smoke under the exhaust fan.
This week, I had to go to the office for the first time in a while, but I made it to the weekend without any work troubles.
…No, it’s more accurate to say I didn’t let any trouble happen. This time, I really wanted to keep my promise.
Things outside of work were mostly peaceful too.
Although she continued to speak little, her expressions became less stiff, and she showed me her smile more often.
She no longer trembled in her sleep or came to me with a strained smile asking for physical intimacy.
If things stayed this way, living together as lovers forever wouldn’t be difficult.
“Kawakami-san, sorry for keeping you waiting.”
I turned to see her wearing the dress we bought the other day. Usually, she wore either her school uniform or old clothes, so it felt refreshing to see her in something new.
“Uh… do I look strange?”
“No, not at all. It looks great on you. You look adorable.”
“…Thank you.”
Her reaction was unexpected. I thought she might joke and say something like, “Of course, I do.”
But the way she blushed and bowed her head was charming and sweet.
Even if some things were different from what I expected—————
“Would you like another cigarette?”
“…No, I’m fine. Let’s head out.”
“Okay!”
—this smile was undoubtedly hers.
An hour after leaving the house.
We should have reached the nearest station to our destination in a few minutes, but…
“…I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s because of the sudden train inspection.”
Unfortunately, we had to wait on a bench at the transfer station for about thirty minutes.
From the platform, I could see a large shopping mall that seemed out of place among the rural scenery. The landscape had changed quite a bit since high school…
“But if I had changed quicker…”
She looked down, her expression stiffening.
“We’re not in a rush, so let’s take it easy.”
“I see…”
Her expression softened a bit, but she kept looking down.
…She’s been in an environment where everything was her fault for so long.
It’s only natural she’s overly self-critical.
Even so, she shouldn’t have to look so down.
“So, why did you choose the sunflower field?”
“I…I’m sorry.”
Her shoulders trembled, and she spoke with a choked voice.
I had asked to distract her, but it seemed to have scared her instead.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just curious.”
“I see.”
The fear faded from her face, and she slowly looked up.
“Since I was little, my mother always talked about it during summer.”
“…Your mother?”
“Yes. She often said there was a beautiful sunflower field near her school, and they held a small festival there every summer. She often told me, ‘I’ve always wanted to go, so let’s go together someday.'”
“…I see.”
“Yes. Only when talking about that did my mother look truly happy. So, I always wanted to visit it someday…”
When she said “only when,” I felt a warm twinge deep in my chest.
Even in a life where she chose to end it herself, she looked happy when talking about our promise.
Of course, she did.
Back then, I loved her with all my heart.
At least more than that man ever did.
So, now again…
“Um… Kawakami-san?”
“…Sorry, I was just a bit dazed from the heat.”
“Huh? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. So… you never got to visit the festival?”
“No. My grandparents really disliked me doing anything other than studying.”
Her expression hardened again, and her shoulders started trembling slightly.
“If they found out about the movie or shopping we did, I can’t imagine how much they’d scold me…”
Her delicate fingers were clenched tightly on her lap, turning white.
She shouldn’t be blamed for anything.
“…?”
“You don’t have to tell them everything honestly.”
My hand moved naturally, patting her lowered head.
“From what I’ve seen, you’re doing well in your studies, so they shouldn’t have anything to complain about.”
“But…”
“Now that we’re lovers, I’m not sending you back to those people.”
“…”
Her tightly clenched hands slowly relaxed.
“…Thank you.”
Her face turned towards me with a calm expression.
“The next train will be arriving on platform two.”
The announcement echoed through the platform, and a short train with a blue stripe approached.
“Let’s go.”
“Okay.”
As we stood up from the bench, the train arrived.
Soon, I’d be able to repaint my memories with her in brighter colors.