Chapter 13
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Under the exhaust fan, I exhaled a puff of menthol smoke. I felt unusually tired today.
There shouldn’t have been any issues with my work or otherwise, aside from the call from that man.
Tsubaki and I ate lunch in silence, then returned to our respective work and study in the afternoon.
Dinner was also eaten in silence. It was a completely normal day.
…Tsubaki being silent and expressionless all day was not a problem.
We don’t have to force conversations or fake smiles.
Yet, a vague sense of discomfort lingered all day.
“…Ugh.”
Suddenly, a groan came from the darkened living room.
When I looked over, I saw Tsubaki turning in her sleep, her expression troubled, her eyebrows furrowed, and the corners of her mouth downturned.
Maybe she’s having a nightmare. With the call from that man and the unexpected visit from Mishima, Tsubaki has had plenty of reasons for bad dreams.
“Kawakami-san, this has nothing to do with you.”
…It’s not just them causing her distress.
I put out my cigarette and turned off the exhaust fan, then walked over to the sofa.
Tsubaki still had a pained expression on her face. I reached out and stroked her head, and her shoulders trembled slightly.
However, there were no signs of her waking up.
As I continued to stroke her hair, her expression gradually relaxed.
“Good night. I hope you have pleasant dreams.”
“…”
In response, there was only the sound of her quiet breathing. She should be fine now.
After adjusting her blanket, I left the living room. The cool, smooth feel of her hair lingered on my hand. When I looked at my palm, a faint sweet scent wafted from it.
…It’s time to sleep.
Back in my bedroom, the bitter smell of cigarettes was overwhelming.
I might have smoked too much today. I’ll cut back tomorrow. Days like today shouldn’t happen often.
As I collapsed onto my bed, my eyelids naturally closed. There was no one in my thoughts.
Well, I hadn’t seen her smile today, so it was to be expected.
Yesterday, I had thought I might see her smile more often.
…No use thinking about pointless things.
I said it was none of my business, yet I still want to see her smile? That’s too convenient.
Tsubaki is just a temporary housemate.
She’ll leave once summer ends.
I don’t intend to have any further relationship.
Not now, not ever…
“…Hmm.”
…Someone’s voice.
“Kawakami-san.”
Ah, Mayuko is calling me.
“Kawakami-san.”
…Why so formal?
Call me by my name like you always do.
“Kawakami-san.”
“…”
I opened my eyes to a sad face looking at me.
…Wait?
But, you’re already…
“…!?”
It was Tsubaki’s face.
She had somehow gotten into my bedroom and was straddling me.
Wearing only the top of her pajamas.
…She didn’t come here because of a nightmare wanting to sleep with me, did she?
“…Tsubaki, what are you doing?”
“I have a question.”
“…What?”
“…”
Her hand, orange in the nightlight’s glow, touched my neck softly. Just like this morning, her hand was terrifyingly cold.
“If there’s a clear relationship between us… can I stay here?”
With a trembling voice, her cold fingers stroked my neck.
“…A clear relationship?”
“…”
Without answering, her cold fingers kept tracing my neck.
Gradually, they moved up to my cheek, then stopped after several strokes over my lips.
“…Do you really not want to go back home that badly?”
“…”
In silence, she nodded and took my hand, lifting it to her face and blowing on it.
“I’ll do anything to stay. So, please…”
Her words stopped, and she revealed her tongue from between her slightly parted lips.
As if to show it off.
Then, she slid her tongue along my palm.
“…Stop it.”
“…”
She didn’t respond, only looking down at me. Her tongue continued to move, up and down my palm.
Again and again.
The warm, slippery sensation and her pleading eyes gradually eroded my self-control.
“Stop it…”
“…”
She didn’t listen and kept moving her tongue, changing its shape and movements continually.
A sweet ache spread from my palm throughout my body.
“Seriously… stop…”
“…”
After several pleas, she finally stopped her tongue. But she still held onto my hand.
It wouldn’t be difficult to shake her off.
But if I did, she would—
“You’re the only one I can rely on…”
—She would do the same to someone else.
“Please, I beg you. Just…!”
As I pulled her close, she widened her eyes. I turned her over and pinned her slender shoulders to the bed.
“Kawakami-san…”
Her orange-tinted cheeks were smooth and terrifyingly cold.
“Um…”
Her lips were soft and cold, but her mouth was warm when I licked her tongue.
“…”
Her shoulders twitched slightly as our tongues rubbed together.
“…”
When I pulled away, she looked at me with a dazed expression, breathing heavily.
“…Even after this, you want to stay here?”
“…Yes.”
She placed her hand over mine on her cheek and smiled.
With pleading eyes and a twisted mouth.
“I have no one else but you.”
“…I see.”
Perhaps that’s the same expression she had in that man’s eyes.