Volume 1 Chapter 169
by Need_More_SleepVolume 1 + Chapter 169: Wanting To See You
Being asked so pointedly by Leah sent a chill down Vivian’s spine, the hairs on her nape practically standing on end. Her throat felt as if being tightly gripped, even her breath becoming labored.
She instinctively wanted to open her mouth and explain, but just before the words could escape, she bit down hard on her lip, forcibly suppressing the impulse. The expression on her face twisted slightly from the strain of restraint.
She took several deep breaths, trying to calm her tumultuous emotions. After a moment, she managed to force a smile at Leah. Though the smile appeared somewhat stiff, at least it wasn’t overly awkward.
She gently shook her head, then lowered her gaze, saying no more. Instead, she focused her attention on the paper before her, picking up a pen and beginning to write and sketch.
Leah looked down at the characters Vivian left on the paper, the expression on her face gradually softening somewhat. Vivian had written her name, An Wei.
She could have chosen a completely different alias, but that would not only be troublesome but also prone to slips due to unfamiliarity. So, she simply took two characters from her real name. This way, even if someone called her, she could respond instinctively without giving anything away.
She continued writing on the paper, briefly explaining her background.
She wrote that she lost her mother at a young age, the most unforgettable pain of her life. Her mother died for her sake, and she remained deeply mired in agony and self-blame, unable to move past it.
[When I was young, I was ignorant.]
She wrote this line, both a self-reproach and a seeming confession of her heart to Leah.
[I did many wrong things. If possible, I truly wish I could have a chance to make amends.]
[I don’t mean to show interest in your mother. It’s just that looking at her reminds me of my own mother. I’m sorry if I offended you.]
After finishing the last stroke, she slowly put down the pen, her fingertips trembling slightly, her eyes revealing profound despondency and helplessness.
“Big sister… It’s okay. Who doesn’t have some past they’d rather not look back on from when they were a child?”
Leah tilted her head slightly, blinking her eyes, her voice soft as if comforting or persuading. “The past is called the past precisely because it has already passed. Mama often teaches me too, saying people can’t keep dwelling on the past, they have to look forward. Only then can they see new scenery.”
As she spoke, she secretly glanced at Vivian’s expression and saw the other girl’s hand holding the pen tremble slightly—a faint, barely perceptible tremor that suddenly made her heart feel a pang of sympathy.
Leah had always been able to discern truth from falsehood. And right now, Vivian’s emotions were real. Her despondency, her guilt, her pain—all of it was genuine, not feigned.
Thinking of her own attitude just moments ago, a flicker passed through Leah’s eyes, and she felt a touch of remorse, realizing her words might have been a bit too much.
She simply didn’t like others staring intently at her Mama Eve, that was all. But her reaction just now… seemed a bit too intense.
After all, she had finally obtained her own safe harbor, and finally received Eve’s gentle protection. How could she not be afraid of losing it?
Because Eve was good to Leah, and Leah still couldn’t quite understand why. She could only attribute it to Eve’s inherently kind nature. But if Eve could be kind to her, then she would surely be kind to others as well.
So, how could Leah not worry that someone might take Eve away from her side?
“What are you two talking about?”
Eve walked over carrying several freshly cooked dishes, her tone gentle and casual. “Dinner’s ready. Go wash your hands and eat.”
As she spoke, her gaze swept casually around the room, merely skimming over Vivian’s figure without lingering.
She didn’t look carefully, nor did she show any particular emotion. It seemed like an ordinary glance, nothing she paid mind to.
Upon hearing Eve’s voice, Vivian’s previously somewhat calm heart instantly tensed. She instinctively lowered her head, avoiding Eve’s line of sight, her fingers unconsciously tightening as if she had done something wrong.
Truthfully, she couldn’t quite explain why she reacted this way. It was just an instinctive sense of guilt that made her utterly afraid to look up and meet Eve’s gaze.
Eve, however, showed no sign of noticing anything amiss, maintaining her usual composed demeanor. She was always gentle and especially doted on her precious daughter. Leah had a lively personality and liked making friends, bringing someone home for a meal was perfectly normal.
As the host, she naturally wouldn’t make a guest feel uncomfortable, nor would she stare at them, as that would only make the other person more ill at ease.
Besides, the young girl before her was disabled, unable to speak. She must have already endured many strange looks in her daily life.
Eve was always considerate. Knowing this, she was even less likely to let her own gaze make the other feel awkward. Therefore, even sensing Vivian’s avoidance, she didn’t ask further. Instead, she deliberately avoided direct eye contact.
Thus, both Vivian and Eve remained silent within this delicate and somewhat awkward atmosphere. Neither took the initiative to speak, nor did they break this unspoken stalemate.
The air at the dining table seemed somewhat stiff. Only Leah remained enthusiastic, heedlessly placing food into Vivian’s bowl, chatting lightly while eating as if completely unaware of the underlying tension.
Vivian kept her eyes downcast, pretending to focus on her meal, yet her mind was nowhere near the food.
She knew she couldn’t afford to reveal any flaws, so she deliberately avoided any direct eye contact with Eve, even restraining herself from glancing at her out of the corner of her eye.
She understood very clearly that Leah possessed an extremely strong sense of possessiveness towards Eve. If she displayed even the slightest hint of peculiarity, it would likely cause unnecessary trouble.
And to distract herself, Vivian began thinking about the task the church had given her today…
Eve, meanwhile, was also absent-minded. Though her surface demeanor was calm, her thoughts clearly weren’t on this meal.
Her mind was preoccupied with matters concerning the Dragon God Cult. Numerous unresolved questions lingered in her heart, making it difficult for her to focus elsewhere.
And so, the meal quietly concluded amidst this silent standoff and Leah’s liveliness.
By the time Eve got up to clear the dishes, Vivian hadn’t truly managed to look at her properly. She only caught fleeting glimpses of her outline during certain moments. Even so, she barely managed to catch a few glimpses of Eve’s face.
In truth, Eve’s appearance wasn’t unfamiliar to her. This wasn’t the first time she had seen Eve. The previous meeting was on the staircase at the church academy when Eve brought Leah for a visit, and Vivian happened to run into them.
That encounter was brief, but Vivian had always remembered Eve’s appearance. That sense of familiarity had always been hard for her to forget.
But today’s conclusion was basically the same as that day… familiar, but she wasn’t her. They could only be similar.
Having finally found a reason to escape from Leah’s house, Vivian felt as if all the strength had been drained from her body.
She inexplicably missed her own mother even more.
“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever been to visit her grave.”
At this moment, Vivian’s desire to see Eve was particularly strong. She wanted to see her, even if it was just to pay respects at her graveside.
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