The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Chapter 6: Work

“Lord! We, the Demirams, have been rearing goats for a living for generations after generations. That day, after expending much effort and finally finding a fertile grassland, just as we were loosening the restraints on our darlings, the demons came!!”


“That’s right, she stole our darlings and even tried to take away our possessions. Look, she even said that she was a law enforcer. Where on Earth do you find such a thief-like law enforcer?”


In front of me are a bunch of indignant Demirams. These short and diminutive Beastman are well-known to be cunning and annoyingly talkative. Right now, tears were flowing down their cheeks and their face screams of indignation, as though they have met with great injustice.


“My Lord, you must redress our grievances! Our entire fortune have been stolen by these demons.”


“That’s right, my poor little Sia. He was barely 2 months old, not even past the age of breastfeeding. Yet, he was taken away from his mother by those demons. How can this be allowed!?”


“When the wind blows from the South, the snow floats along. Our goat is still so young, but that heartless wolf came to our house and…”
TL: Lyrics from ????????


I have seen many pitiable people in court, but the sight of the Demirams gathering in a group crying and lamenting together as a group isn’t something I get to see everyday. As expected from the artistic Demirams, they started staging a musical about their grievances.


Initially, I was still rather touched but after watching it for half a day, I realised that their standards were so-so and their lines were repetitive. I lost my interest, yawned and starts to announce my verdict.


“The law enforcers are not guilty of malpractice, the Camusi Demiram tribe can retrieve their goats under custody after paying their fines. This is my final verdict, the plaintiff are not to file any appeals.”


“My Lord!!”


“This is unfair!!”


On the Defendant Stand, Town Security Vice Captain Yawen heaves a sigh of relief. The plaintiffs were still busy bemoaning to the heavens about the verdict, but I refused to budge on my stand.


“Court Police, bring them out. Next one.”


“Corrupted officials are rampant, our justice system isn’t fair!! The foolish judge sides with the evil officials!!”


Sigh, it always ends up like this. But being called a foolish judge to my face, I felt slightly displeased.


“Intentional slander towards the judge, I sentence you to a fine of 10 gold coins. On a side note, the next time you release your cattle on the city’s greenery, your cattle will be confiscated directly.”


While they do have the rights to rear their cattle, but to use Liu Huang Mountain City’s own greenery for ranching, it is no longer a problem about personal freedom and more of damaging public property.


Just within this 6 months, we spent a few hundreds of thousands on the damaged grasslands and gardens and this is just calculating just the cost of the resources and manpower required for the operation. On the other hand, what the Demirams saved were only a few hundred gold coins of grass feed.


The Demirams specialty of arguing right from wrong have worked against themselves this time. They actually tried to sue the Town Security for malpractice in enforcing laws, they must be taking me for a fool.


“Right, the one who said that I was a foolish judge just now, go to the community center and volunteer 2 months of free labor. Anyone who adds in anymore crap will end up like him. Next time, go to the grass patches to buy grass feed or ranch outside of the city. If you were to continue ranching as you please, your entire tribe will be driven out of Liu Huang Mountain City.”


Towards the scheming but lazy Demirams, taking a nap while bringing the goats out for ranching is already an extremely tiring job for them.


To make them work like the other races could be considered a harsh punishment, and for the greedy them to do free volunteer work for others is definitely a harsher punishment than the death penalty.


The more you speak, the harsher you get punished. Instantly, the crying and singing stopped as they lined up orderly to leave the court.


Thus, I nod my head satisfied.




I look at the case files for the next hearing, stare at the smiling defendant and started frowning. No wonder the other judges left this case to me, this isn’t an easy case to tackle at all.


“Defendant, Herault.Beifeng, Dracon Hunter, accused of kidnapping and inappropriate sexual actions.”
TL: Beifeng literally means Sorrowful Wind. Dracon is his race and Hunter is his job.


The evidence on this fellow is sufficient and the man himself have confessed to the act but this case still left me with a splitting headache.


His methods may be dirty, but Hunter Beifeng has just completed the dream of Hunters by succeeding in capturing a Druid as a pet. But after he succeeded, he committed obscene acts with his ‘pet’ in public on numerous occasions.What’s more, sometimes the Druid would transmogrify into a bear, sometimes a panther, sometimes a bird, just that there isn’t a single time they did it in human form… Furthermore, the Druid is male and Beifeng is a male too…


“Too dirty! Too disgusting, this is severely affect the social values and culture of the entire Liu Huang Mountain City. I strongly request subjecting this homosexual with a fetish for beasts to the death penalty under the reason of ‘correcting the social values of Liu Huang Mountain City.’” The Gnome prosecutor on the plaintiff seat speaks passionately. This case had been brought up from the ground level to the Supreme Judge and now is the critical period to push it through.


“We must heed notice to the identity of the Dracon defendant. In their eyes, ‘being partners with beasts’ is a tradition and a natural thing to do. Citizens of Liu Huang Mountain City have long prided themselves on being accepting towards the culture and traditions of other tribes. The basic principle of our codex states that we can only punish those who have tread on the laws and in our codex, is the act of engaging in sexual activities with wild beasts prohibited? Since it isn’t prohibited, then it isn’t a crime. Thus, he cannot be passed off as guilty and even more so, cannot be punished!”


Reading out his interpretations towards the codex, the Elf Defense Attorney Krose manages to gain the upper hand, despite his looks of despise and disdain towards his defendant.


In the eyes of the Elves who respect nature, Hunter Beifeng’s behavior should have warranted his death a few thousand times but in the court, he cannot compromise his professionalism as a lawyer for his personal gains.


Just as Krose mentions, due to the lack of a law dictating that his actions are a crime, the prosecutors are not even able to name out the exact name of his crime, needless to say, determining the punishment he should be receiving.


“Which codex of law would outlaw such a disgusting crime like beastiality!! If this bastard turns out to be innocent, then how can we continue to uphold the dignity and fairness of the law!”


Hearing that, the Gnome prosecutor fills with fury. Even though he is wearing a silver mask which covers his facial expressions, from his furious tone of voice and the veins popping from the mask, he seems to be on the verge of exploding.


But this is to be expected. For this case, he spent great efforts and went to court twice. Now that they were in front of the Supreme Judge, he was even more determined than ever to not let that pervert escape the claws of justice.


I look at the lizard face of the pervert and he looks back at me. His face is calm, not a single hint of insecurity or restraint a defendant would normally have.


Furthermore, my SemiGod court robe is still in its activated mode. To exhibit such calmness under the pressure of a God equipment, it could only show that he really believes that he is innocent and his heart is free of guilt, thus rendering the equipment ineffective.


“Different culture? No, the other Dracons do not share the same hobby as him. He probably has knowledge on the law or have been informed of it, making him aware of the fact that we aren’t able to judge him guilty. Hoho, as expected, there are always interesting crimes in a foreign world.”


“Hoho, so can I go back now? My pet is still waiting to be fed.”


As I start laughing, that Dracon starts laughing along with me.


That seemingly calm expression and laughter was a kind of challenge to me and it caught my interest.




The gavel strikes down and I make my judgement.


“Judged innocent, the defendant is to released.”


The codex did not state such an act as illegal and since the laws that I wrote have a loophole in them, I shall admit defeat this round.


Hearing this, that Herault.Beifeng gives an honest laughter, but his smile is full of glee.


“Of course, Liu Huang Mountain City’s judicial system is the fairest in the world.”




“Prosecutor Lowe, don’t be mad.You should have known earlier that since it is not deemed as a crime in the codex, I cannot judge him guilty.”


Lowe knew this, and it was because he was aware of this that he is so furious. To allow a sinner to escape the reaches of justice, this is as good as an insult to the Supreme Court and the judicial system itself.


“But, my lord…”


“Have you finished preparing for the law drafting meeting at the Hall of Legislation next week?”


“Hmm?! Oh, I understand!!”


Due to my sudden seemingly unrelated question, Lowe was stunned briefly before realisation strikes him and a smile starts creeping across his face.


As the Supreme Court, we are not only an organisation that deals with judging criminals. Among the 4 Subordinate Halls, the Hall of Legislation is responsible for drafting up new laws. The Supreme Court, other than doing the final inspection, has the authority to create new laws and define its legal understanding.


“Yup, since our friend Herault helped us to find a loophole in our legislation, then let’s fill it up. Krose, when the new law has passed through, send a few plainclothes to talk frequently with our friend to send him here soon. After all, we have to give our thanks to him.”


These words didn’t seem to have pass by Herault.Beifeng. In this instant, his face steeled, as though imagining the moment when he gets caught in here again.


As for deciding never to do such a disgusting act in the future? From the very start, for him who views ‘treading along animals’ as the greatest joy in life, it wasn’t an option from the very start.


Hearing this, even the Defendant Attorney Krose’s face is filled with joy and relief.


“Yes, my lord, I will go handle it immediately. ‘Treading along animals’, such an unnatural and disgusting action, he should be punished. Doing it public, his punishment must be doubled!”


“Right, remember to add in a section against the abuse of animals. Such actions should warrant the removal of the owner’s rights to own pets. This should be sufficient to serve as an insurance to block all the means of that guy to commit such actions.”


As an honorary member of Liu Huang Mountain City’s Pet Lover Club, who can I allow such a person to continue oppress those cute little animals. Let’s directly remove his rights as a pet owner.


Finally, Herault.Beifeng started crying. If he were to want to continue staying in Liu Huang Mountain City, then his hobby of ‘treading with animals’ would have to be halted from now on.


Thus, under my scheming, the dignity of the law was preserved.


What if that fellow decides to turn over a new leaf? Let’s first not talk about how I personally think how difficult it would be to change his fetishes, if he really succeeds in changing, it would be a good matter.


“Next…” Even though these case are troublesome and boring, but aren’t all jobs the same.


Boring, tasteless, but sometimes, it feels significant and meaningful.


Legislation refers to the act of drafting up laws

Judiciary is the branch which is in charge of the interpretation and application of the law (i.e The Courts)

Law Enforcers refers to the people who go out and catch criminal (i.e The Police, Town Security.)

The defendant is the one being sued (the one which charges are being pressed against i.e the DemiRams and BeiFeng)

Prosecutor is the lawyer who institutes legal proceeding against someone (helping the one suing i.e the Gnome prosecuting lawyer)

Defense attorney is the lawyer on the side of the defendant (i.e Krose)

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