A Mercenary's War

Chapter 119

Chapter 119: Buttfire

Translated by: kevin1782

Edited by: Isalee

Jin was really soft when he spoke, but Harris still heard him. He did not get angry though.

“Seems like you are very confident. I trust Big Dog. If he says that you’re really something, then you must be really amazing. I still want to cross fists with you since good opponents are hard to come by. Since you willingly promised to not take my life, I can greatly be at ease.”

No one expected for Harris to suddenly become humble when he was so proud before. Grolev looked like he was shocked by Harris too — he refused to believe his ears.

“My hearing didn’t fail me, did it? Since when was Buttfire so easy to talk to?”

“Do I look like an idiot to you? If you said that this guy busted eight guys from Machete, then he must have really done it. I could never do that. Also, please don’t call me Buttfire any more okay? Please. Nobody knows this name and I don’t want to embarrass myself. So please don’t ever mention this name, especially in front of my men, or else I will get mad.”

“Alright Big Dude, I promise I won’t tell anyone else that you’re called Buttfire.”

Harris looked like he was helpless and ignored Grolev. He turned to Lee Jin Fang and said, “Today at dinner time, when it’s not so hot, let’s have a match. Try not to hurt each other, how about that?”

Jin said hesitantly, “B-but that lieutenant colonel from before said that we cannot leave the house unless we’re on a mission or if we have permission to. Are you sure this is okay?”

“Hah, that idiot. Ignore him. He was only in charge of passing the message on. He won’t care if you’re staying in the cramped little hut. So as long as you don’t leave the formation, you can do whatever you want.”

Jin turned to look at Gao Yang upon hearing what Harris said. After Gao Yang nodded, Jin promptly said, “No problem. At dinner time today, just yell for me.”

Harris nodded with satisfaction, “Alright, deal. Now, let me tell you some rules you must abide by. First, never leave this formation unless you get approval from that idiot lieutenant colonel, or else those guards will open fire at you. Second, never approach that building. If you do try, you will have more holes in you than swiss cheese. These are all the rules we both have to abide by, nothing else.”

Gao Yang sternly said, “We can really only keep waiting here? I don’t want to defend this place whether we get the money or not.”

Harris stroked his head in frustration and said, “Everybody knows the situation here. Some bombs were just dropped yesterday, very close to here. On top of that, the Opposition will mark this place as their most important target when they attack. There is no other way — we can’t leave this place at all. We can only pray that Gaddafi will come back and get us to escort him out, or else we can only leave when we receive the orders from that idiot lieutenant colonel. The only good news is that the money will be paid to us very punctually.”

Gao Yang was no longer concerned about whether he could earn the money after being dumped like dynamite at Aziziyah Camp. So long as they were not allowed leave, they wouldn’t be able to spend the money they earned alive.

Gao Yang pondered for a moment before saying, “I feel that Gaddafi had no reason to ditch us here. Maybe he really wanted to set up this place as a backup shelter, or maybe he will come here at a certain time and leave after two days. That’s the most reasonable explanation I can come up with.”

Harris pointed at the guards outside. “Look at them. They are all from Misurata, from Gaddafi’s hometown. Their biggest advantage is their loyalty to Gaddafi. Those troops are directly under his command. Only these people will fight for Gaddafi to the death when all other forces defect to the Opposition. So I think Gaddafi won’t ditch them easily. If we see them retreat, then we must leave at once. On the other hand, if they don’t move, we can only sit here and wait like fools.”

Harris shrugged after finishing: “What I mean is, please do not think about Gaddafi’s thoughts. He’s basically a crazy man. You should consider watching those guys out there closely, and not contemplating what a madman thinks.”

Gao Yang grabbed his satellite phone and briefly glanced at it. He sighed, “No wonder nobody confiscated our satellite phones. It’s because they don’t have to. We lost contact with the outside world.”

Harris laughed, “Of course, there are more signal jammers than humans. Don’t even think about using any type of wireless communication equipment, much less satellite phones.”

Harris looked at his watch after his last sentence and said, “Alright my friends, I’ve got to get back to gambling. If you are interested, you are welcome to buy in. Big Dog, are you interested?”

“Nope, I’ve never gambled.”

“Alright, wish you all a good afternoon. If you are unable to kill time during this unbearable afternoon, give me a shout and I will get someone to send a few decks of playing cards over. This time we brought quite a few decks, and that was my only wise choice. Also, don’t forget about our arrangement in the afternoon. Farewell, my friends.”

After Harris left, Tribo said dejectedly, “Damn it, I was ignored, gracefully ignored. Ram, Toad, Big Dog with a machine gun, he mentioned them all. All except me. Damn it!”

“Brother Yang was godlike with his sniping. Didn’t you see those people from the Coleman Company treat him like he was their precious? As for Old Russian, he’s a machine gun artist, nothing else to say about that. I have no talents, except my fists and legs are pretty decent and I have made my way to fame with a battle with those failures from Machete. What did you do? If you want recognition, you got to train harder, haha.”

After Jin gleefully finished his words, Tribo felt like it was even more unfair. He fiercely punched the bed board and fumed, “One day. One day, everybody will know my name!”

“Do you mean Tribo when you say ‘my name’?”

Tribo was stunned after Gao Yang dished yet another blow to his ego. He dove onto the bed and sighed, “My life’s done for. Even if I become famous, everyone will only know me by my nickname. I can’t even reveal my real name. What’s the meaning of being famous then? It could be said that my name ruined my life.”

Sparing no time for Tribo who was utterly dejected, Gao Yang turned to Grolev and said, “This is the current situation. At this time, we can only calmly stay put and react to any new developments. Since there’s nothing to do right now, let’s talk about that friend of yours. Toad’s going to duel him one on one later. What I’m most curious about is, why did you call that Big Dude ‘Buttfire’?”

Grolev said with a smile, “Do you know that the main components of a fart consist of methane, oxygen, and hydrogen gases? These gases can be ignited and can even lead to explosions.”

Gao Yang nodded, “I know that. Why?”

“We didn’t know back then, especially for someone as silly as Harris. Long story short, in Sierra Leone, we were surrounded on a mountain without food. We scavenged anything we could eat. Harris ate some plates that caused him to fart nonstop. Just then, someone told him that he could ignite his fart. Harris then tried it out himself. Unfortunately, the fart he tried to experiment on was too massive. After the brief flash of a wisp of fire, boom. To put it in milder words, the gas that hadn’t left his body yet ignited near the end of his intestines, and then, haha. Excuse me, allow me to continue after I have a good laugh. The consequence was that Harris couldn’t walk until he left Sierra Leone, you get what I’m saying?”

Tribo temporarily forgot how sad he was and upon hearing what Grolev said. He wretchedly said, “He tore a new butthole? Heck, that had to be real painful, might as well die there and then.”

“Hooray, you understood that. Harris thought about that too, but he was hardy. After his butt was torn, he suffered heavy blood loss. In order to save his life, our medic had to sew his anus shut and take away all his weapons. Harris lost his combat abilities just like that. After the war was over, Harris was half-dead when he was sent over to a major hospital to remove the threads and undergo surgery. He was bedridden for two months after that. All in all, that’s how the nickname ‘Buttfire’ came about, but it is best for you to not mention this nickname in front of him because Harris threatens to kill anyone who dares to call him by that nickname.”

Everybody was rolling on the floor laughing. Gao Yang laughed till tears started flowing out of his eyes. He could not imagine how bored someone would have to be to try out whether a fart could be ignited while being surrounded. Furthermore, [even moreso]
 was that how much he yearns to live after his anus was blown up that he did not put a bullet in his head right there and then.

After waiting for everybody to finish laughing, Grolev shrugged, “Alright, let’s not make fun of other people’s scars. Let’s talk about the serious stuff. Toad, be wary of Harris. He is a skilled boxer. He can kill a zebra with a single punch, so don’t let your guard down.”

Jin nodded, “Don’t worry, I never take my opponent lightly in a duel until my opponent is dead.”

“We’re going to be fighting hand-in-hand with the Black Fire Mercenary Corp, so do you know how strong the Black Fire Mercenary Corp is now? Or should I say, how strong is Harris?”

Gao Yang was more concerned about Harris’ strength, and after hearing Gao Yang’s question, Grolev seemed to be reminded of something. After spacing out a while, Grolev said sternly, “Harris may have done some silly things, but he’s really good. Harris is famous for the bazooka he uses. Of course he’s a very good shooter too. He can hit two different targets with pistols in both of his hands. As for the Black Fire Mercenary Corp, I believe that as long as Harris is still around, then Black Fire must be very strong. He’s never let the unskilled join his team.”

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